Why It Will Always Be Natsu and Lucy (among other things)
by Thinwrist
Summary: I don't usually 'ship'. And dear Mavis, I don't understand how this became a blog. I really do not understand. I am good at ranting, and I'm the best at ranting about my OTP, Natsu and Lucy! So read if you must! Natsu and Lucy are a must. they just have to become a couple. It's a law of the Universe. So, are you ready for senseless rambling you know you agree with? Read on!
1. Chapter 1

Why It Will Always Be Natsu and Lucy

Its bound to happen

Erza and Jellal kissed.

Its soooo bound to happen.

Natsu and Lucy are next

Why?

Because, duh, their, like, the perfect couple

and I've seen good couples in my anime days.

Like Inuyasha and Kagome (Inuyasha)

Or Maka and Soul (Soul Eater)

Or Edward and Winry (Fullmetal Alchemist)

Hell, Even Riza Hawkeye and Roy Mustang (Fullmetal Alchemist)

But this is the best couple yet.

I've never wanted to see two people kiss more than I want this couple to.

Why?!

Because...

Who's there to make Lucy laugh?

Who does Lucy blush at when he looks her way

or touches her

Who does Lucy cry for

And who will she fight for, even when she's about ready to die

Who sleeps in her bed (Not that way...yet)

And who most certainly will punch anyone's teeth out just to protect her!

Duh, Natsu!

Now...Let's face it. Lucy llllllliiiikkkkkeeesss Natsu.

But Natsu's an idiot. He's like a brick wall. It may take some time to realize that he's got a smoking hot blonde babe just waiting for him.

(Shut up, Lucy. You may deny it, but we ALL know you ARE waiting)

Cause he's wrapped up in his Hero's Complex

And he's brutal, and tough.

And when it all boils down to it.

Natsu's an idiot.

Sure, he knows some things. But when it comes to love, he's...like...like...a retard.

Immature. Silly.

But I can wait. We all can wait. Cause it's bound to happen.

Cause Natsu once uprooted a tree for Lucy.

Held her hand when she cried.

Gave her a piggy-back ride (OVA 4!)

Touched her ass...by "accident"

He likes to sleep in her bed, cause it's comfy.

He just doesn't feel the same when Lucy's not on his team.

So for all you...

Lucy and Loke Fans.

Natsu and Erza Fans

Lucy and Gray

***I shudder at this one***...Gajeel and Natsu (H-How did this even happen?!)

Gray and Natsu Fans (That's just sick)

Get over it. THAT'S NOT HAPPENING.

Cause it's Lucy and Natsu..for..like...ever!

It's going to take a while to see that kiss.

How many episodes are we at now?

Like 160? and they still haven't kissed.

Well. I can still wait. Cause I waited 169 episodes and 28 Final Act Episodes to see Inuyasha and Kagome kiss.

So I can wait for this.

Oh, and dear Mr. Hiro...if you even try to play Natsu and Lucy off as really good friends...my foot is going up your ass.

Cause if Jellal and Erza kissed

then Natsu and Lucy are soooo bound to happen.

And when they do kiss, please come to my funeral, cause I'm going to die of either my heart exploding or a mega-uber-oh-my-god-i-didn't-know-she-had-that-much-blood nosebleed. Or probably both. But come to my funeral. And make sure to scrawl on my tombstone

SHE WAS SO RIGHT

NATSU AND LUCY FOREVER!

And my ghost will dance for eternity, screaming

"NATSU AND LUCY FOREVER!"

Cause it's bound to happen.

So, my fellow Fairy Tail fans, let's sit and wait, and every tiny Natsu and Lucy moment that Hiro Mashima decides to throw at us, savor it, until one day, those two idiots decide that who gives a damn about whether their nakama or whatever. And please, don't die. Cause Fairy Tail needs it fans. Oh, and if it doesn't happen (slim possibilty) help me destroy Hiro.

So Erza and Jellal did it.

I'm sitting here, arms crossed villian style, twirling an imaginary mustache, waiting for the day when the best couple ever finally share that kiss.

Cause it's bound to happen.

* * *

Authors Note: I only care about Natsu and Lucy. And Erza and Jellal. I guess Gajeel and Levy are ok; I absolutely refuse to acknowledge Gray and Juvia. That's not happening in my mind. For all your Gruvia Fans, sue me. Gray is mines...all mines. heh-heh. But seriously, come on people. You know it's Natsu and Lucy. Even Lisanna supports it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Dear Natsu and Lucy**

"It's just not the same without Lucy" he says

"I wouldn't ever leave you behind!" she says "Because it's always fun when we're together"

"I have to save Lucy!" he says

"I know he's here. I can hear his voice."

"NATSU!" She screams

"LUCY!" he shouts

Dear Natsu and Lucy,

I've included those quotes up above just so you idiots can remember what you've said to each other. I mean, do you like doing this to me? I've lost a lot of hair just screaming and ranting my head off on you two getting together. Do you enjoy plucking my heart strings? Do you enjoy having those tender moments between each other, and then snickering in your minds, thinking _"We've done it again! We're really driving them crazy!" _IS THIS A JOKE TO YOU?! Well if it is, I'm disgusted with the both of you. How dare you? Huh. How dare you flaunt your perfect relationship in my face and not give me one teeny weeny little kiss! How dare you look so good together?! How _dare _you say those sweet things that make me die a little and then just end it with a look. Fuckers! Yeah, I said it. You're both fuckers. Why? Because every time I see you two together I go a little crazy. Have I told you guys that your my OTP? Well you are. It takes a lot to make me ship a couple, and it takes monumental force to make OTP a couple. And I want you two together! Please...I'm groveling here...please, just get together...;(

**Dear Lucy**

Come on girl. Stop denying it. I'm sick of that cute little blush you give every time someone even mentions 'dating Natsu'. I'm tired of this Lucy. Is he not attractive to you? Does that pink hair, which he manages to pull of so well, not attract you?! I mean, he prances around _half-naked_ all the time. That little cardigan he wears? Take it off, and what do you have? A very sexy man (cause he's a man, dammit!) that not every Mary-Sue gets to have. You should be grateful. You should be filled with pride to be besides him. I mean, you should be having his _babies_ by now.

Yes, yes. He's an idiot. He's denser than a brick wall. He doesn't seem to know what common courtesy is. And when genitals flash in his face, he doesn't even bat an eyelash (Gray's balls are in his face all the time, with that stripping fetish of his. Oh, my Gray-sama!)

He's rough. He's course. I bet he doesn't even know how to kiss. He's silly. He's immature. He seriously needs to lose that Hero's Complex. Yes, yes Lucy we all know that. We could sit here all day and talk about why he's a complete and utter and hopeless baka. But you know, just as well as I know, his good qualities are what shines. Who's there to catch you when you fall? Who's there to hold your hand when you cry. Who the fuck do you hold when he can't stand anymore! It most definantly isn't Gray (stay away from Gray). Then why the hell not? WHY!

Don't you even dare bring up that pathetic Lisanna excuse. Just don't. That's not even worth ranting over. Why? Because Lisanna may be his good friend, but you're his best friend.

Don't give me that Nakama excuse either.

Don't tell me your in love with someone else. We all know that is a huge lie.

Don't tell me it's because you're scared of having a first boyfriend

Don't tell me its because he's too childish

And don't tell me a guy who rips up a tree just for you doesn't qualify. I will kill you with a spoon, Lucy. I will.

So, before some random bimbo decides to steal him from you, get that idiots attention!

Sincerly, Thinwrist

P.S. No random bimbo is getting Natsu's attention by the way. I will personally have that bitches head. So don't worry, no girl is getting Natsu. Just you! Consider me the leader of the Defend Natsu Just For Lucy army. Believe me, I do my job well.

**Dear Natsu**,

Listen here, idiot. Listen closely cause I'm only doing this once. I'm going to try to work this into your thick skull, and hope you understand.

You have a beautiful, stellar, smokin hot blonde right there. She's not like most girls. She may look flimsy, but when the time comes, she can kick some ass. And your ass too (remember all the times you got a Lucy Kick?) She's smart. She's dependable. She's funny. And dammit, she's _cute. _Did I mention that she has nice tit's? What girl can boast an 88 cm bust (SIZE E!) and a sexy curvy body and a nice bum? Hm..._Hm_

Well...a lot of girl's can boast that...but not as well as Lucy.

I really don't understand what goes on it that head of yours, because Lucy runs around in clothes that are really...revealing. I've never seen you look interested. Are you like, a professional pervert? Have you mastered looking bored but standing on three legs at once? Is that it? I like to think that's it. I like to think we underestimate you Natsu. That you're really a genius but you act like a idiot just for the fun. I like to think that when you see Lucy in a skirt that's not even really qualified to be called a skirt, in your mind, you think _Nice. _

Don't you get it, baka! You love her! It's that thick head of yours! Why do you think you enjoy sleeping in her bed so much. Why do you think you _love _going to her house. Why the hell do you get sad when she's not there!

No, you are not hooking up with Lisanna (I swear, Natsu, you better start digging your grave if you even think that something between you and Lisanna is gonna happen under my watch). No, there is nothing going on between you and Erza. I'm pretty sure you'd rather burn Gray's lips off than kiss them. You do not want to fall in love with some stupid random OC girl who isn't right for you. And..um...I'm pretty sure that you and Gajeel would rather bash each other into the ground with rocks than...do some of the stuff...i read about you two doing sometimes. (Sides, its like Gajeel and Levy FOREVA!)

How long have you known Lucy? It's going to be 8 years. Sure, 7 of those years were spent sleeping, but I'm pretty sure you had dreams about her. Some marriages don't even last for 8 years.

Do you need directions? Do you want me to give you a step-by-step list on what to do to get Lucy Heartphilia to be your girlfriend (then your wife, then your baby mama)

Fine then:

You get Lucy alone

You sit there and you tell her you love her

you kiss her.

Now, this part, is the best one. Your not going to give some flimsy peck on the cheek shit. You're going to lean in, press your lips to hers, wrap your arms around her waist, and you are going to have a passionate kiss. One that will send fangirls all over the world to the moon. And decimate the 25% of the fangirl population.

You don't want me to go past three, because then that leads to..ehem...the other things. But, just to be vague, after that, your going to date her, for, oh, about...i don't know, date her for as long as you want. Then, baka, cause I'm not done with you. When the time is right, you two are going to plug the socket in the hole. Understand? GET IT? Your going to boom boom. You're going to take her to the moon and back. You're going to play house. You're going to play poker. You're going to do the nasty-nasty. You're going to make babies. And when said babies are born, I'll weep huge tears of joy and forever be satisfied.

So, Natsu. I love you; you're like, my baby. Actually, you're my second baby because Inuyasha is my first, but still, I love you. And I only want to see you happy. Which is why I will crush you if you don't go get yourself a piece of Lucy pie!

Ok?

So, don't keep me waiting long.

I'm waiting!

**Sincerely, Thinwrist.**

* * *

Author's Note: I'm sorry. I never intended to add another one, but I spazzed out over episode 150 and I went into Nalu overdrive and I just had to vent some way. I have another letter to Hiro, but, I won't be posting it just yet because it has..some...very descriptive and callow death threats. Don't worry, I won't hurt him! Because Natsu and Lucy are going to happen, isn't that right, Mister Hiro?


	3. Chapter 3

OTP Means For Life, Dammit!

So, guess who just watched episode 159 of Fairy Tail?

This girl! (Yes I'm a girl. Duh. What dude wastes his life essense on this kind of stuff?)

I don't know how this little blog began, but I like it, and I seem to have others out there who are on the same planet that I am on. So, guess what I'm going to rant about now? (because ranting is what I do best)(Sue Me.)

So, if you, like me, are a dedicated Fairy Tail fan, you did watch Fairy Tail Episode 159. I won't spoil it for all those who haven't caught up (because I'm evil...) and I read chapter 277 of the manga. It was amazing. There was like, the best Natsu and Lucy moment ever at the end of 159! (oh no! I spoiled it a bit! Oh well, fuck it). My ovaries were basically screaming their little heads off for more, and I was so dead sure that this was the turning point. And, because I realize I am subsceptible to 'fangirl overdrive', I decided to troll Tumblr, for Nalu. Tumblr is awesome, and its filled with wierdo's like me who live in world's that don't exist.

It may sound crazy, but I'm a very rational person (like, 97% percent of the time). I don't usually ship. Hell, I started watching anime like 6 months ago? I was never a fangirl. I wasn't the type who went nuts when characters touched hands. I noticed the relationship only when I had to. I was all about the guts, the blood, and the glory! Alas, the deeper you go into anime, the deeper you go in the Fandom world. I'm not going to lie and said I never wished for any couple to be together. I just shrugged and said 'meh' (except in that one Sesshomaru and Rin case. That could not be overlooked). But I was ok. But, dammit, when I began Fairy Tail, it took it to a whole new scale. I've turned into this little...what am I?A troll. Whatever, I'm a troll. I couldn't care less. So, now to get to the basis of this random ramble, I am going to explain what OTP means.

It means One True Pairing. I believe OTP's come once in a fan's lifetime. And you know what happens? You stick to your OTP until the day you die. Understand? So, I know that it's irrational for me to go nuts over Natsu and Lucy, but guess what. There my OTP, and fuck it, it's like I've joined a blood gang. I can't ever leave. My kids will know what my OTP is. My future husband (preferably Gray) will know what my OTP is. I may grow up, become famous or whatever, or spend the rest of my life trolling the net, but I will always remember that Natsu and Lucy are my OTP.

So...the main argument that comes up against Natsu and Lucy is

"There really good friends. And that's how far its going to go"

No. I refuse to believe that. Why? Because I'm only 97% rational. And in that 97% of rationality, I am 50% wierdo 10% sadist 5% physco 5% dork and to boil me down, including that 3% irrational me, I am 100% WIERD! And dammit I'm proud of it. I'm proud of shipping Natsu and Lucy forever. I'll be glad to skewer someone on a stick for those two. I will be glad to see them have babies.

So, yes, I am rational. And for all those realist who keep their feet firmly planted on planet Earth, and who will only see Natsu and Lucy as friends, have faith! That's all I can say. Sit there and ship forever! Join the Natsu just for Lucy army! And SHIP FOR LIFE!

If you believe that Natsu and Lucy won't go past friends, your entitled to your opinion! I don't care!

But, I'm in a contract here, and OTP means for life, dammit!

-Thinwrist!

* * *

Author's Note: Oh dear, I've done it again. Aren't you people tired of reading my senseless ramblings? I don't know why I keep doing this. Maybe it's because I am in a life contract here. I did this after reading some things on tumblr the other day. Why? because i believe everyone is entitled to what they have to say. and others, like me, are entitled to living in a dream world. Ship for life!

Oh yeah, anyone's welcome to join the Natsu Just For Lucy army. You just have to be bloodthirsty and hellbent on getting Natsu and Lucy together.


	4. Chapter 4

Natsu's Nastu and that's how it should stay

Hmm...I think I've stressed the fact that Natsu and Lucy just have to get together. I think I've stressed the fact that their my OTP and I don't care if anyone calls me a crazed fangirl. In fact, I've stretched those facts to the point of snapping. So, you all must be tired of my 'shipping' raves.

So, since again, I have no idea how this turned into some freaky blog thing, today's topic is...Natsu Dragneel and Fanfiction!

Now now, stay with me here. I'm not here to bash anyone's story. I love some of the stories on here, because their humorous, well-written, and dammit, they send my imagination on a frenzy (Juvia-style). But, naturally, there are those stories that leave me with that look that Happy has sometimes that just says...what? Now, don't eat me alive like parahna's here, but its true! When I read stories about Natsu, I just want to read about Natsu. If you've watched and read the Fiary Tail manga like a loyalist, then you already know what his character is like. And no random idiot would just write a story without fully getting to know the character. Don't get me wrong here, we could be judging Natsu too soon. I mean, he really could be a genuis (I couldn't help snicker at that part) or, we could be freaky perverts, and since Natsu is technically a teenage boy, in physically terms (how old is this guy? Wouldn't it be weird if he was like 80. Lech!) are minds like putting him in dirty situations involving gazonga's and panty stealing, and...ehem...swelling. I myself will admit, I read those type of one-shots and drabbles, and they are hilarious. Maybe a little far-fetched, or maybe he is a professional pervert, but nonetheless, harmless. There not making him act out of character. There just adding a new light to our gung-ho pink-haired dragon slayer.

And duh, why would I be on fanfiction if I didn't like the stories.

But, that's not why I'm here. We've all established that I am somewhat of a troll right? Yes, yes, I was in denial for a while, stating that I was just a freethinker, but, if you want to slap a label on me, I'm a troll (I have my club and everything).

Now, there are some fan fictions that take Natsu Dragneel and turn him into..a mutant. Yes, a mutant.

Here are several facts about Natsu that we know

He's not the romantic type. Definitively not. I'm pretty sure he's not the type to woo a girl off her feet with his dashing good looks or say pick up lines (except in that one episode..but that wasn't really Natsu. It was Loke, in Natsu's sexy sexy body).

You know he's not easily dominanted. Yes, yes, yes, wouldn't we all love to see him tied to a bed, screaming 'yes, Master' while Lucy whipped him. But...I'm pretty sure he's not that type of kinky. Go get Virgo for that.

Now, here's where I was worried a little. I've seen Gray have dirty thoughts before. I've seen a lot of the guy's have dirty thoughts before. But, when it came to Natsu, when Lucy's tits were flying everywhere, and Erza wore armor that was just pieces of aluminum foil strapped over bra's and panties, he didn't seem to blink. Sometimes I'd think 'yup, professional pervert extraordinaire, Natsu Dragneel'. Come on, he just seemed so innocent and sweet and wrapped up in his fighting problems. Lucy's clothes come flying off, and what does he do? We don't see. He's never in the scene. Maybe, they don't put him in it because he's furiously trying to control his trouser snake. I mean, in the Tenrou Island arc, after fighting that blob-shit (I think its name was Kaien) Happy forced Lucy to sink Natsu's face in her cleavage, and Hiro Mashima doesn't even give us a tidbit of his reaction. I was worried about his manhood! He's a teenage boy! I know I know, maybe he's just not interested in tits. Then what is he interested in...? But, my woes have been assuaged. Lately, I've seen Natsu in more dirty perverted scenes. So sigh, he hasn't joined the dark side (where he's interested in wangs)(Gays are awesome though)

So...what was I talking about?

Oh yeah! (this was like thirty minutes by the way) I'm pretty sure he doesn't have a high vocabulary. For a guy who uses words like 'pound ya' and 'shit' more times that I can count, I'm pretty sure he won't say

_'fiendish vixen, stay away from my precious jewel, the light of my eyes, the apple of my core, Lucy!' _(Someone wrote this. I'm dead serious)

Yeah, so making those points right there, I wonder why some writers make fanfics with Natsu sounding like an intelligent, gentleman, who has the IQ equivalent to that of Eienstien, and with a descriptive power that rivals Da Vinci. I just don't get it. And its weird.

Exhibit A:

(Note: These are not real stories. They come from my mind, based on what I've read on Fanfictin)

_Chapter One:_

_It was a dark day in Magnolia. The sun was setting behind a sky of soft velvet, and the air was cool, filled with the smell of ambrosia and revelry. The city of Magnolia, although shrouded in iniquity, was beaming with life, just like I liked it. I was making my way to Lucy's house. _

_I stopped, swallowing the lump that was forming in my throat. _

'No, no' _I thought to myself _I must be a serviceman. For Lucy. If I let this opportunity slip between my fingertips, I'll be lost in oblivion, because I love her, and I can't live without her.

_With that thought, her picture sprung into my mind-_

Ok. stop. You get the picture. Is that even Natsu? I just wonder. Yes, that was well-written. Perfectly. It formed a picturesque image within my mind. In that image, I see Magnolia, but don't see Natsu. That's just not him. Those kind of stories, especailly narrated from his point of view, are interesting, yet, not on his character basis. Now, he's not an idiot either. I mean, i've read stories that go like this:

Exhibit B:

_Normal day in Magnlia. I'm pissed; some stupid fucking monster blew our mission. I'm at the guild and drinking a beer. Waiting for Lucy. _

_Hey gray, u suck! I shout _

yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Those do exist. I'm going to openly say, what the fuck was this person thinking? (Gray does not suck, by the way. Unless he's sucking on...Oh! Getting off topic here!)

oh. and here are the worst. The Natsu and Lisanna thing. Why are there so many of these; Lisanna's back and Lucy gets kicked off. She's heartbroken, but Natsu's too in love with Lisanna (like hell he is! Lisanna is on my shit list because of those who ship Nali!) (She's actually a good girl. Nice, pretty, and a threat. Threats must be eliminated.)

Those disgust me. I look at them, and go on my merry way, conjuring up ways to cut Natsu if that ever happened. I'm not even going to waste my precious fingers on writing an exhibit of that...oh wait, yes I am. Because i'm petty and silly, and my blood's singing now

Exhibit C

_Lucy was crying. It was like her to cry easily, but not for something like this. Lucy was crying because she'd lost her place on Team Natsu. She trudged her way home, ignoring the cries of 'be careful, Lucy-chan!', and sniffed. She couldn't summon up the anger she knew she had to feel. She wiped at her face, hopeless sorrow rotting away at her. Inside, her heart thrumbed painfully. She looked over her shoulder, back to the path where Fairy Tail was, and began crying all over again. _

_How? How had she lost her place to Lisanna? _

_and why had she lost Natsu along with it?_

That type of shit makes me wanna bite someone's neck and suck them dry like a vampire. (Yummy, yummy, blood) I mean, Lisanna, after the Edolas arc, wasn't much of a character after that. She was here and there, but not really. In Fanfic's like those, they completely bend Natsu's character to some idiot jerk (well...to an jerk) who's left the heartbroken hearted Lucy. Usually, Lucy will either A) fall in love with Gray B) Fall in love with Loke C) Expose Lisanna as an evil bitch D) Still expose Lisanna, but just to get revenge E) Join Sabertooth and fall for Sting like some Mary-Sue and in one freaky one, that will be labeled G) kill Lisanna and bury the body...

No. its just not in Natsu's character. Now, to all due respect, I love Fanfiction. Otherwise, where'd I get my anime from? There are truly gifted writers on here. There are some really funny stories on here. There are some stories that make me ohmygodnowayiwantblood squel. But then there are those impossible one's that are just too-far fetched. I'm a girl who's open to just about anything. But I won't believe that Natsu will go into heat and rape Lucy. I won't believe that he'll kiss her and mumble words like 'you're a fiery star in the epitome of my soul. Without you Lucy Heartphilia, I wouldn't have been able to get over Lisanna. You're a radiant goddess, and I will humbly serve you for all time'. Sure, I know there are parts of Natsu we haven't seen yet, but can you really see Natsu shouting 'Damn you, Villian! Come here, so that we can brawl like true men, and let me char you to a ripened crisp!' (ok, I exaggerated there.)

No. Just no.

Just like, I can't see Natsu crying about Lucy being mean to him. Or Gajeel 'verbally' abusing him. (I pissed my pants when I read that.) I can't really see him being that way. Maybe my view is way to constricted. But, I like my characters to stay the way. Now, I once tried to write a fanfic about Natsua nd Lucy just for fun, but I pooped out half-way because I'm lazy and I didn't feel like it. But I always kept in mind his personality. So, I was just thinking, if you really love Natsu, keep him the way he is. Even if he is an a relationship with Gray...(who made that one up? I mean, does it look like after beating the shit out of each other, there ready to rub cocks?)

Hate me if you must, I was just telling you the way it is. Sides, I can't rant about Natsu and Lucy all the time. That'd make me repetitive and boring. I think i'll just rename this whole little blog thing to _Why It Will Always be Natsu and Lucy (and other things)._

So Natsu's Natsu, and I'd like it to stay that way. Did you guys follow me, or did I get off topic too much? Oh well, you should understand by now that i'm not really getting anywhere here.

BONUS PART!

Ten signs to show that you are way to obsessed with Natsu and Lucy:

When you see them together, even in the most normal of things, you're heart gallops and you just think 'Just do it!"

You've mentally scarred yourself with dirty M-rated Fanfics that shouldn't exist.

You're Ipod/Phone/Computer/whatever, can't hold anymore pictures because you have like a gigabyte of Natsu and Lucy pictures.

You can easily get in heated debate with any other shippers on them

even if its not the same people, whenever you hear the name 'Lucy' you immiedatly jump up and say 'what? Where? Is she with Natsu?"

Tumblr's fucked your mind up with vivid pictures of them doing stuff to each other

You have Juvia-style daydreams about them

You know exactly what there children will look like

You have scrawled Natsu and Lucy on your arm or any other part of your body.

You've seriously considered naming your first child Natsu and your second child, who must be a girl, Lucy.

If these apply to you, you, my friend, are a true shipper. Be proud that you have an OCD.

Hmm...I'm pretty sure i've wasted your life long enough.

But Natsu's Natsu and that's the way it is!

-Thinwrist!

* * *

Authors Note:...Review? Any One Want Me To Talk About a Specific things? I think I'll accept any request I do have a special chapter dedicated to that one ErLu shipper who almost made me pop a vein. I was seriously considering assembling Natsu and Lucy shippers and going to war, but I go lazy and fell asleep. So, hoped you like my rambling. Um...I don't really know what I was talking about. Damn it, I need some help.


	5. Chapter 5

Nashi of the nill.

So, its a weekend, and no school, and I have homework that's staring me right in the face, and I'm blatantly ignoring it. (come Monday, I'll bemoan the fact that I am too lazy for my own good.)

There are several topics that I should address in this post. But there is one topic that I must absolutely talk about. So, readers, sit up straight in your seats, or sit up in your beds, or wherever you are. I'm about to break some bad news to you, and I hate crushing Nalu believers. But, for this, I just have to. I'm a full supporter of Natsu and Lucy, and when I get whiff of rumors going around, I go hunting like a mad dog to see if its real.

So, its been going on for a while now.

You know what it is.

Nashi.

I hate breaking it to you, but, when in that interview with Hiro Mashima, where he was asked if Natsu and Lucy would have any kids, he replied "Nashi".

When I first read this, this was my reaction:

"Ohmyfuckinggod, did I die and go to heaven? Oisunfsidbhgsoiduhgsiduosdfs dfhs"

but after a couple seconds of giddy paradise, something went ringing in my head. I thought:

"...wait a second"

and then, that's when I remembered. You see, I know Japaenese. (I can speak it at a first grader's level, and write it like a baby learning its ABC'S. But, hell, at least i'm getting there) and then I remembered something that left my stomach flipping. So I looked it up and yup, my hunch was right.

Nashi's not a name.

In japanses, Nashi means no. or nill. Or it doesn't exist. Hiro Mashima was saying that no, there are no kids for them. So, unless Hiro Mashima intends to name Natsu and Lucy's kid 'nothing', i'm pretty sure he meant he doesn't intend for them to have kids. It's not 'Na' for Natsu and 'Shi' the way Lucy's name is pronounced in Japanese. (Pooh) Trust me, I was depressed for a solid week. I cried, and moaned, and bitched, all because it wasn't true. That's serious damage to a girl's OTP. Damn the fact that I know Japanese, and damn those happy-go-lucky people who spread the rumor! (You're a troll, Hiro, you hear me?)

Now, before I receive an onslaught of "STOP BLOWING HOLES IN MY SHIP", I just thought I'd tell you guys that. Because, along with an anime OCD, I also have a grammer OCD. And a language OCD ( that's so funny. And contradictory. Because only after looking through my work, I almost pop a vein to see my atrocious grammer. I really am good at writing. But, I just don't pay attention enough). So, when people parade around blurting stuff that's not true, even if they sadly don't realize it, I take it upon myself to correct them. I'm sorry. I really am.

But there's hope. Why? Because Hiro Mashima is human. And Humans tend to change their mind. Especially if it involves blood-thirsty vagabonds with knives.

Just saying. Maybe, you know, if he feels like it. But, he's not the type to really do that; I've seen animes where you meet the main characters kids. But, I'm pretty sure it won't be happening in this one.

Now onto happier things!

Someone suggested that I do a topic about crack fics. I won't. Not yet. If I do, It'd take all my ranting and creative cussing powers to do it. I have a lot to say about crack fics. I like em'. Some I can't stand. Others are a little to explicit. I'd have to type like ten whole pages just about crack fics. (and I tend to stop typing in the middle of writing up a chapter and then come back to finish it like, four hours later). So, I won't type about crack fics just yet. But just you wait, I have that one coming up to.

What should I talk about...

(This is too funny. It's like, 4:51, in America, and I started typing this early in the morning!)

So, I finally got some inspiration. Today, I'm going to talk about respecting other shippers opinions. Yes. I respect other shippers. I mean, I can't just go killing them off or subjugating them to my will because they support something else, right? That's just lacking social. I couldn't care less about whether you want Lucy and Ichiya to be together. I couldn't care less if it's NATSU AND ROGUE FOREVER! I seriously think that everyone deserves their opinion...

but then, there are those who take it to far.

I got into a seriously heated debate with a fellow Fairy Tail watcher who was my good friend. She just kept ragging and bitching and wouldn't let it go when I told her that Natsu and Lucy were so cute and perfect together. She went on and on about Lisanna and Natsu. How, they had been friends since they were little...how whatever, whatever whatever...how blah blah blah blah...and blah blah blah blah (at some point, I started imagining that everything she said was just shit coming out of her mouth, because seriously, that was all I heard). And then, she said that she _hated _Lucy, and she couldn't have thought of a more terrible heroine (she obviously never read _Halo_ or the last book in the _Hunger Games_ series)

So, she wanted war.

I loaded up my guns.

And I went to war.

Now, before anyone gets righteous on me, I was seriously going to let it go, and laugh it off, because everyone is entitled to their opinion. Its their right as a human being. Everyone should have their own likes and whatnot, and I hate it when shippers hate on other shippers. Just leave it alone, I say. But, she was asking for It. She was begging for me to open a can of whoop ass on her, and oh boy, I did.

Now, I'm excellent at ranting online. Think about me, Thinwrist, made into flesh and blood, and able to rant freely. Well, I'm a 100% better at ranting when someone pisses me off. I'm not sure what I said to her, but I think it involved "dirty bitch" "how dare you?" "have you seen that golden halo of blonde hair" and "sure, she's a little flimsy, and whiny, but what girl isn't, and she can get on my nerves sometime, but she's loyal, and nice!"

So, when I was done, I founy my friend slack jawed and pale. Yes, yes, I know, did I go to far? I felt a little bad. Not really. I lack apathy when it comes to that shit. You wanted it, so I brought it, and now you can't take it? What the fuck!

But I was ready to apologize when...she has the gall to pick up the tiny shreds of her dignity and rebuttle "Well, I see more romance blooming between _Erza and Lucy _than with her and Natsu"

Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.

She _really _wanted my foot up her ass.

If she wanted to die, she could've just asked.

I mean, what the hell did Erza have to do with anything? Only crack fic yuri fans wanna see that happen. I mean, damn, their like sisters. And Erza, who doesn't seem to really care what gender anyone is, is like, for Jellal! She chose to overlook Jellal and say shit that was unsupported, and when it was all boiled down, I had to annihilate her. Tsk. Tsk.

Don't worry, we fight like that all the time. I recently found out that she liked Fiary, and I finally found a new person to gush over it with, but, we just had to bump heads over that one. She let it go, and when I did apologize, because I did blow her out of the water and eat her alive, e went back to being friends.

Anyway, my point is, in that little ramble is, to respect everyone's desire. If someone says "Oh hey, you know, I want Hibiki and Gray together because it'd be cute" let them be. Don't start bombarding them with "WHAT? SFNHSDKFSDNMFSMDFNSMDF"

But, don't let them step all over you. Firmly support your beliefs, and if they want to go a couple of rounds about you with it, try to calmly leave the situation, and if they keep raggin ya, let all hell loose. Bust a cap up their asses. Break their necks. And don't leave any blood in their body (Oh wow, whats up with me and blood?)

So, good right? Oh geez, I feel like such a saint. I'm promoting good behavior! This is so unlike me. Usually, I'd be happy to go demon on anyone for saying "Natsu and E-" I wouldn't even let them finish. I'd be all fangs and teeth, drooling spit, eyes flashing, hissing out "Natsu and Lucy, right? You're talking about Natsu and Lucy. You better be talking about Natsu and Lucy." But seriously, sometimes one must mature, and understand the phrase, beauty is in the eye of the beholder (Gajeel and Natsu are cute together...in some people eyes). We're all human, and we all have to have our opinions. Besides, without opinions, there wouldn't be any wars!

Oh, yeah. One last thing.

TO ARMS, NALU SHIPPERS! There is an epidemic going on here. There is one thing I will not tolerate, and that is cross-pairings. Where'd that come from? Well, It must be squished. I enjoy cross over fanfics, where they slip into each others worlds and meet all sorts of things, but I won't stand _Erza and Naruto_ making out. I say respect others opinions. SCREW THAT, when it comes to cross-pairings! That is just...NO.

SO, MY BRETHREN IN WAR, TO ARMS! SING THE PRAISE OF THE DRAGON AND THE PRINCESS FOREVER! AND DON'T FALL VICTIM TO CROSS-PAIRINGS. KEEP YOUR OTP AND SHIPPING ALIVE! (this is where we war-cry)

I am so ready for battle if anyone dares try to bring up why Lucy belongs with Inuyasha. Or why Winry would be perfect for Gray. I will don my helmet, sharpen my spear, and taste your blood on the edge of my blade!

A courteous nod is given to Hiro Mashima for being, like, the god of Fairy Tail.

One last thing before I let you continue on living. Levy is totally the leader of the Natsu and Lucy fan club. She's so cute with that. Ahh...Levy and I could be really good friends.

BONUS!

**WHAT WOULD THE PAIRINGS BE AT THE END OF FAIRY TAIL?**

**POSSIBLE SOLUTION A: GAJEEL IS STILL A TSUNDERE, AND WON'T ADMIT THAT HE LIKES LEVY**

**POSSIBLE SOLUTION B: GRAY GIVES INTO TO JUVIA'S DESIRE (**No, Gray! No!)

**POSSIBLE SOLUTION C: SOMEHOW, JELLAL STOPS BEING A WANTED CRIMINAL AND HIM AND ERZA CAN FINISH THAT KISS OFF**

**POSSIBLE SOLUTION D: JUVIA GETS OVER GRAY AND GOES FOR LYON (**I fully support this. And you know why. Gray is mines! My Gray!)

**(VERY REAL) POSSIBILTY E: NATSU AND LUCY FINALLY GET TOGETHER! **

**POSSIBILTY F: (for the realist) no one gets together and Fairy Tail ends on the shitty 'we're friends' line. **

**POSSIBLITY G: (this is for the really crazy fan) EVERYONE GETS TOGETHER! (keep dreaming)**

So, thanks for reading, bear the mark of OTP for life, ship who you want to ship because its your life dammit, and defend that ship. But, as everyone can agree, FOREVER ENJOY FAIRY TAIL!

Love you, Mashima-sama! (As long as you keep Nalu moments coming my way! And more Fairy Tail! I'm not all about the Pairings!)

Jaa ne!

-Thinwrist!

* * *

Authors Note: I'm going to say this, so that the reality can hit me like a bucket. I have no life. And I'm proud of it! Yay, for being a freaky, indoor loving recluse!


	6. Chapter 6

**Dear Erza and Jellal**

**Dear Erza-sama and Jellal**

Yes, Jellal, I purposefully dropped the honorific from your name. Why? Because you pissed me off and you are not worthy of honor for being such an abstinent fool. Heh, heh, please Titania, don't kill me for insulting your...what is he to you. What are you guys?! Are you kinda-somewhat-maybe dating. Whatever, I don't care. You're canon in my head; a lot of people (Grayza shippers to be precise) overlook the fact that you two obviously are in love and that kiss almost happened (except Jellal got pissy and whiny and turned into Edward Cullen and started whining about how he wasn't worthy and told the most _see-through _lie ever). I even choose to pretend that the kiss did happen. Whatever, you two are canon in my head, and its obvious that there is only one person for Titania and one person for Jellal.

**Dear Erza-chan!  
**Is it alright for me to use chan? I consider you a good friend. You're awesome, Titania. You are what I would want to be if I already didn't somewhat want to be Levy (What? We book worms have to stick together). I have no faults with you...except your armor. Yes, yes Titania, you are badass, and the only person (besides Gildarts and Lucy's boobs) that can make Natsu cower in fear. For that, I respect you. Who wouldn't like you? You're like...the best! The best! I mean (spoilers! Yes, I'm spoiling this because I'm a troll) when you took on 100 monsters in the Grand Magic Games day two? Oh geez, I had to bow down to you. Oh, yeah, back to your armor. You're requip(spelling?) magic is awesome. But, come on Erza. The only thing that really counts as 'armor' is your regular clothes and Heavenly Wheel Armor (and ONLY the skirt. You're just basically wearing a metal bra). Do you do that for sex appeal or something? You're barely clothed. Like I said before, your armor is reminiscent of a bra and panty covered in aluminum foil. I have a certain list of people I'd like to see you kill, but, sigh, you probably wouldn't do it. You're awesome. And I also like your blunt personality. You don't care if someone's a dude or a girl. And I am so proud of you for making the move on Jellal. Yay! The first canon couple. Oh and geez, in that specail chapter in the Grand Magic Games when you guys were at the swimming pool and Jellal grabbed your boobs...nice. Nice. Nice. You, Titania, are my favorite female character! You're too good...I should stop stroking your ego now and go handle Jellal! Don't beat me for telling you the truth! And I'd happily be your disciple (but I'm already Levy's!)

Sincerely, Thinwrist

(P.S. I didn't even acknowledge those side-pairings because it's you and Jellal and that's that. Besides, Natsu and Gray (yes, Grayza fans) are like your brothers. You guys are like a family)

**Dear Jellal, **

Stop it. Stop it NOW. Gosh, what is WRONG with the males in Fairy Tail. Why are they all fight-happy fighters? (I suppose because its a shounen anime...ah! Fairy Tail is not an anime! It's real!)

Seriously, Jellal, stop it! You're grinding my nerves with that 'I'm not good enough for Erza' shit. I und**erstand you ki**lled Simon (I was actually happy when he died. He just wasn't that big of a character) I understand you did some bad bad things. If you really want to blame someone for fucking up your life, blame Hades and Ultear. They were the one's who concocted such a useless idea and turned your life into shit-ville. But, please, Jellal, why do you keep punishing yourself? Why must you turn from the light? Why bathe in the blood of misery and woe, and bemoan the fact that you did terrible things. For someone who has turned from evil, the best thing to do is to bear the scars of evil, and forgive. Remember those who you hurt and remember that you should never ever fall to the darkness! Because if you keep doing this to yourself, you'll never get anywhere! Honestly, I like the fact that you are hunting down baddies (aw. I actually kind of root for bad guys) and trying to avenge the world, but, please forgive yourself. Erza forgave you. Accept punishment like a true hero, and bear it, and move on, because that's what life is, you stupid psuedo-Edward. Keep moving, never look back, and keep those shoulders straight, because FUCK IT ALL Jellal, you are a good person. Because, like the great Elfman always says, THAT'S WHAT A MAN IS ABOUT.

Sorry, I had to get rough with you, but you seem so blind to the fact.

But, really, thats not why I'm here.

Well, I kind of am here. But, seriously, this is about Erza.

I honestly thought better of you Jellal. I honestly thought that you were above in intelligence than some of the males in Fairy Tail (ehem..Natsu...Gajeel...Elfman...The list could go on and on). But, I guess i'm just going to have to talk to you like I talk with Natsu.

Listen to me, Jellal. You have _the _Titania in love with you. She's not some random OC girl. A woman like Erza comes once, in oh, YOUR FUCKING LIFE. She's beautiful. She's funny. She's just so well-rounded. She's not perfect, but what girl is? And that's what makes her good. Erza is amazing. She makes me want to be her (Hehe, sorry Levy). It's not just her looks either. She's one of those few women out there who can kick your ass real good. I mean, seriously Jellal, you have had your ass handed to you by Erza so many times. Why torture yourself? Why torture Erza? Dump that mess, why torture me?! I don't really 'ship' Jerza or whatever. It's just, like clearly right in my face that you two have a thing going on here. I only really give two shits about Natsu and Lucy. So, I'm giving you a reality check. You're not Edward Cullen and your not falling for a girl like Bella Swan.(Geez, so much Twilight bashing. I actually like Twilight) You're falling for a woman who, If you let her get away, dumbass, you'll never find someone like her again. I mean, maybe your a masochist, and you like the pain of having your one true love just walk away and take your heart with it, but seriously? Dammit it, Jellal, you're pissing me off. You need to forgive yourself, and GET THAT GIRL. And no, you're not going for Ultear (you better start digging your grave if you think that I'm letting that slide. Especially after what she did to you. I'm shocked that you two manage to even get along) No, you're not falling in love with Meldy (what?) and hell no, you're not going for Lucy (How did that happen? I mean, do you even acknowledge Lucy's existence?)

Just...sigh...stop it Jellal. Or I'll stop it for you in the form of my foot going up your ass.

Oh yeah, I guess I really beat you down, so I guess your pretty hot. That blue hair? Bad ass. That body? Yummy! And that tattoo, although I have no idea where it came from, is just to damn hot. (Erza's one lucky lady). See, I didn't completely crush you! And you're pretty awesome. But seriously, stop this shit!

Sincerely, Thinwrist

(Oh yeah. When you grabbed Erza's boob in chapter 298, I was dying on the floor! Spasms of laughter almost stopped my heart. That, was too cute. And you perv, the first thought that came to your mind was 'soft'...tsk. Tsk. Well, I guess you can't help it. They do look pretty soft)

(Great, now you made me jealous of Erza's boobies)

* * *

Authors Note: Yes, this had to be acknowledged. I simply couldn't let this opportunity slip away, especailly since I'm in a Erza mood...what's an Erza mood you ask? I don't know either. It just involves Erza


	7. Chapter 7

**Dear Gajeel and Levy**

**Dear Gajeel and Levy,**

A girl who's like, the embodiment of the book-worm, and who's probably read her fair share of romance novels probably always pictured that the guy she'd get was someone she'd spent ages building up in her mind. She did NOT-must I repeat?-NOT expect a tsundere, iron-eating, rough around the edges guy like Gajeel Redfox. So, Levy and Gajeel, because I totally see something going on between you two (could it be wovvvveeee?) I just have to have my say...Trust me, you guys are just too cute.

**Dear Levy-chan!**

Ah! I really really wanna be you! Why? I don't know. When I first met you, I was like, _meh, a bookworm. So what? Compared to others in Fairy Tail, she's pretty weak._ But then, I started liking you more and more. And it's not because you are one of the rare ladies in Fairy Tail that doesn't boast a bust of like EEEEEEE (did I go overboard?) and you're a book worm like me, and you use magic that turns word into reality. I just really really like you, Levy (Not on an obsessive level like with Freed and Laxus. Seriously? Freed has some freaky problem with Laxus. It's not homo in any way. But, I think he has a Laxus fetish). You're just pretty cool.

Ahem, shall we address the subject of a certain someone named Gajeel Redfox?

Of course we shall, because its just me!

As in the words of a certain Exceed. You llliiiiikkkkkkeeeeee him. You llllliiiiikkkkkeeee him a lot.

I even made a little poem for you guys

The Girl That Read The Books

On the Handsome Dashing Prince

Who Would Come Swooping In

With Perfect Manners And Way To Good Hair

Never Expected To Fall in Love

With A Guy Who Never Heard of Nare. (Get it? Neither Do I. What is Nare?)

He's Rough and He's Course

And He Sometimes Smells like A horse

And He's Not Ruggedly Handsome.

But, Something About Him

Just The Way He Is

Knocks The Stupid Prince

Right Out Of The Water

And The Girl That Read the Books

On the oh, so swoon able Prince

Now Wants to Be

The Girl That Loved The Dragon

I know. I suck **(facepalm). **Besides, I think Lucy has that title already. Or is it the Princess That Loved The Dragon. Yeah! You, Levy, Are the girl That Loved The Dragon. I think Lucy is The Princess That Loved The Dragon.

Kya! But you and Gajeel are so cute. You do like him, you really do. You can tell me all your woes girl, I'm here. I'm hoping that you can keep him under check (blush) and handle that ass, but lets admit it, Levy, Gajeel will dominate you. Or...nah, he will dominate you. But what's so wrong about that? Besides, you and him can have a happy little family with Panther Lily as your kid (I don't think he'd approve of that)

I'm not going to force you to do anything. I'm going to see where this story goes and see if it blossoms into a love story. (unlikely, what with Hiro Mashima being the creator of Fiary Tail. Sigh. A Fangirl's woes.) But seriously, you guys are awesome. And I'm going to say it right now. I ship Gale!

-Sincerely Thinwrist!

**Dear Gajeel, **

Again? Why do I always have to talk to the Fairy Tail males like this.

Baka! You and your tsundere-ness is killing me. You're _worse _than Natsu (Gah! That sentence leaves a bad taste in my mouth).

I'm not here to force you to do anything. I really am all about one couple and one couple alone...oops, I'm adressing Gajeel here.

But Gajeel Redfox, you are an idiot. You know what to do when it comes to knocking a guys teeth out, but when it boils down to you and that tiny blue-head to taking that 'we're friends to we're lovers' step, your an idiot. What am I talking about? You stoop to Natsu and Gray's level. You're already an idiot. Sigh. What is it about you that attracts Levy so much? Let's be serious Gajeel, you got a face that makes a dog go 'woof'. I'd like to see you smile, really smile, for once. You look like a mix of a gearhead and a punk. But, I guess, thats what is attractive about you. I mean, your face is just all so mean, and your body is sexy and muscular, and any girl, any real girl (not the fast ones. You know which one's I'm talking about. The one's that any guy would like to bang, but would never take home to meet their mother) would want to take on the challenge of Gajeel Redfox. I'd like to take the Gajeel Redfox challenge and see if I can change you. You're the master of tsundere-ness. You do it so well, you put Ren to shame. And you and Levy? Kya! You're just so cute together. I guess, there really are some attractive things about you.

Side note: How old are you? I can't tell. I mean, when I look at Natsu I think, he's definantly like 17-18 and Gray is 18 and Erza is 19 and Lucy is 17. But, I can't place an age on you. Its hard to believe your older than 30 but I guffaw at the thought that you are 17 too. You just seem...older somehow. Just like with Elfmen, the meatball, I was shocked when I found out that he was eighteen. I had pegged him for at least 27.

Back to the main plot. So, I guess, when you get over your Fighting Complex (WHY DO ALL THE GUYS HAVE A COMPLEX? AND THE CHICKS TO. A RANT WILL BE DONE ABOUT THIS) you and Levy can swap some saliva. I'll be waiting. But, do it before Natsu and Lucy, because if you do it after Natsu and Lucy, I'd have been already. So, ya know, hurry up.

This is for Panther Lily.

You're a boss. That is all.

-Sincerely, Thinwrist!

**BONUS PART**

This is completely unrelated to Gajeel and Levy, but Warren is a pedophile. Do you see all those lechy hints that he has at Wendy? The man's 30! Why is he nosebleeding over a 12 year old? Did anyone watch Episode 125? He got jealous because a boy danced with Wendy. Is that brotherly protection? Well, if someone wanted to be nice, yes. But, did anyone read Chapter 298, again, in the Grand Magic Games, when FT was at the pool, the guy was getting 'lovey-dovey' hearts by looking at Wendy and Chelia. Yuck! Pervert! I really don't want Wendy with anyone (Sorry, Wendy and Romeo fans) because she's way to cute, but, I think someone should watch Warren. Preferably, Laxus, so that he can get zapped to hell if he even tries to make a move.

Well, I've voiced my thoughts enough for today.

Jaa Ne!  
Thinwrist!

* * *

Authors Note: Holy, Mavis, TWO chapters in ONE NIGHT? I am awesome! Worship me! Just kidding...Just read. I'm off to see if I can do my homework in 20 minutes and go to bed. It's time for me to go to sleep and school's tommorow. Ah! Reality is painful!


	8. Chapter 8

**Dear Readers, **

Greetings! First off, I would like to say that I am not Thinwrist; repeat. I am not Thinwrist.

This message is being brought to you by Thinwrist's sister, Tsubaki. And no, I'm not asain. In a cruel twist of events, when I was born, Thinwrist wanted to name me, and my mother, who is the easiest thing in the world, allowed her too. Thinwrist has always been the freak, and I was slapped with the name Tsubaki. It's not a bad name, but, hell...why was my sister allowed to name me?! She was five years old at the time.

I'm sorry to say that Thinwrist is currently unavailable right now. But she made me swear that if she ever went into a what she called 'A Nalu induced ecstasy', I should follow her wishes. And her wish was for me to update this silly little story of hers. She's really dedicated to you, Readers. She's been like this since this morning. She woke up, and read manga-which is what she does every morning for some reason-and then shrieked like she'd been shot. When I walked in, she was muttering insane things about Natsu and Lucy, and how she was going to murder this poor man named Hiro Mashima because he is the world's most evil troll. So currently, she's in her room, curled up, rocking backwards and forewards, like a freak, and mutturing 'Natsu and Lucy, Natsu and Lucy' over and over again.

I know who Natsu and Lucy are. Their characters from this anime called Fairy Tail right? I'm not much of an anime person myself, but she really wanted me to do this for her.

But, here are some things I'm not allowed to talk about with you people for some reason

I'm not allowed to declare Thinwrist a weird recluse

I'm not allowed to tell you people that there just anime characters

I'm not allowed to add my own opinion.

I'm not allowed to try and get people to watch Glee.

I'm not allowed to ask anyone to follow me on Twitter.

I'm not allowed to ask what Tumblr is.

I'm not allowed to bash what Thinwrist called 'Nalu'. Or Gale. Or Jerza. Or anything anyone else wants together

I'm not allowed to give out Thinwrist's real name. (paranoid idiot)

I'm not allowed to delete any chapters or this whole little story altogether.

But, she never said I wasn't allowed to talk about her, and why she needs a life. Honestly, she's in _high school _for Pete's sake. She doesn't seem to have a social life. She scares me sometimes with these morbid pictures she draws. Her friends are all the same. She jabbers about anime all day. She's threatened to cut me on numerous occasions if I ever invoke the name of Natsu and Lucy in vain. She constantly says that she will have Toshiro Hitsugaya's first child, and then Gray Fullbuster's child (who are these men?) and then goes on these weird little insane trips into her own mind for hours on end. She's weird, really weird. She's reads and writes like she has no sense, and I'm pretty sure she talks to herself. And I'm the stick-in-the mud little sister. I'm in middle school and I act better than her! Jeez! When will she grow up? I don't know. Yet, I'm still the annoying little sister who acts too big for my 'britches'.

So, Readers of this little story, I hope you enjoyed me, Tsubaki. I hope Thinwrist can come back to reality soon and get back to connecting with others like her. I honestly don't know what she read in that Fairy Tail manga that made her go off like this, but it was apparently big on her scale. On top of muttering 'Natsu and Lucy' she now wants me to tell you that:

"She's pretty (explicit) sure that something (explicit) EPIC is going to happen between Natsu and Lucy, and she can't wait. Hiro Mashima needs to hurry the (explicit) up and add more (explicit) chapters of Fairy Tail before she dies. She also can't believe what's going on in the Grand Magic Games, and besides Natsu and Lucy, she needs to know what's (explicit) happening"

She also wants to me to tell you people:

Natsu and Lucy forever.

_**She needs a life, and a boyfriend NOW. **_

Well, hopefully, she'll come back soon!

Farewell! Sincerely, Tsubaki.


	9. Chapter 9

They're not perfect, but their better than you.

Holy _Mavis _(oh! I just swore on Mavis's name! Quick, Gray, spank me! I deserve punishment) why did I let Tsubaki upload a new post for me? Jeez. I am way to dedicated to this little blog. How long do you guys think this blog will go on before I get bored and move on? Hm...how about I make a 'contract' with you people. Until the day Natsu and Lucy become canon (or kiss. Or sleep with each other. Hey, he's always in her bed. One thing can lead to another, and according to some writers on Fanfiction, Natsu goes into heat) or till Fairy Tail ends, I'll keep uploading, just speaking my mind! Now, now, over time, I won't update daily like I do now, but, I'll make sure to keep uploading. Now, let's hope Fairy Tail doesn't end too soon. I'm hoping to get to like, 100 chapters here.

Enough about me, and my insanities.

Let's clear some matters up, here. My little sister, who happens to have had a stick shoved up her ass since the day she was born, is a prissy little...ew. Let's just leave it at that. We get along sometimes; she likes reading too. But she like, a history buff, so whatever. From time to time, when something really epic goes on in the manga or in the anime, I really go into overdrive, and I just get lost in crazy fandom and I prance off into insanity. Don't worry, that rarely happens. Now, what did I read in the manga that caused me to go into a Nalu ecstasy? I won't tell you. Find it yourself, and then, join me in my joyous praise! So, whenever I go into a Nalu ecstasy or coma, I'll have Tsubaki leave a little letter. (We need to have a talk about the shit she talks about. It's was supposed to be strictly Nalu. I was amazed she didn't start talking about anime history.)

So, I was deciding on if I should write a letter to Hiro Mashima or write about crack fic pairings. But, those take effort, and I honestly don't feel like ranting a lot. Besides, I've entered 'lazy mode' what with Winter Break coming in America.

Something really ticked me off though. Some random troll (was it you, Mashima?) decided to list a complete reason on why Natsu and Lucy shouldn't become canon, and well...this is _me_, we're talking about. Man, I couldn't let that slide.

This troll (this more than a troll. This was an ogre!) started bashing Natsu and Lucy, and not even as a couple, but the character's themselves. Apparently, Natsu's a simple minded idiot and a pyromaniac, and Lucy is a self-absorbed drama queen who can't get a boyfriend. I WAS considering letting the argument go, because duh, everyone's entitled to their opinion and all but, that was just unfair.

Let me make some points here. Yes, Natsu is an idiot. Yes, Natsu is a pyromaniac. He's also dense, loud, obnoxious (did I mention he has a Hero's Complex? um..only like a thousand times) he's reckless, and he's immature. We've touched on all these facts, right?

Well, troll, I'm about to open a can of whoop ass on you.

Because if Natsu wasn't an idiot, he'd be annoying and self-absorbed. And he wouldn't appeal to me at all. Because if Natsu wasn't a fucking pyromaniac, he wouldn't be the best fucking dragon slayer ever! (Sorry Sting and Gajeel!) If he wasn't dense, loud, obnoxious, reckless and immature, he wouldn't be _Natsu_and it wouldn't be Fairy Tail. I think this troll decided to paint these aspects of Natsu in a bad way. What's wrong with him being the way he is? Nothing. I expect Natsu to be that way until he's old and grey. I expect him to die in a blaze of glory. If Natsu wasn't the way he was now, guess what he'd be like. A pussy. A downright pussy, like Natsu Dragion. And I won't have my baby acting like Natsu Dragion.

Did I mention he's cute, sexy and the only bad ass who can pull of rosy-pink hair? Hmm? I know, Hiro Mashima tends to exaggerate all the characters with gorgeous bodies, but I can never forget Natsu. And for anyone who says he's gay because his hair is pink might as hide because I'll be coming after you; just because a male has pink hair means nothing. Ok? I was considering dying my friend's hair pink, because frankly it's adorable. And a guy who can make rosy-pink look bad ass deserves a trophy. And, damn, who can make a cardigan and waist coat look good? No one. Natsu's just perfect the way he is. My baby is alright.

Now, about Lucy. She's come so far along the way. In the beginning, she was cowardly and whiny, but I still loved her. And now? She's nearly on par with Erza. Not in power, but in determination and stubborness. Lucy is not annoying, just like Juvia isn't ugly, and Erza isn't silly, and Ultear is not a bitch. Gosh, idiots who say that obviously weren't hugged enough when they were little, douche-bags. Lucy hardly ever fought, and she was pretty easy to beat, but now, she's a pretty good adversary. She's not weak. If she could beat Flare Corona (before those cheesy ass Raven Tail bitches cheated) then she could handle it. And, I'm not saying Lucy's an angel, but she is pretty high on the cute scale. Yes, she seems a bit proud of her body, but what girl wouldn't be? Every girl deserves to be proud of herself, and I'm happy to know that her self-esteem is high. She's not vain. She's not a self-absorbed drama queen. If your ass got dragged along dangerous missions, you'd complain sometimes too. Especially if you'd been pampered all your life, huh? She's beautiful, downright beautiful. Yes, Lucy tends to dress like a stripper, but that's Hiro Mashima's fault (the lech) but trust me, she pulls of her clothes well.

Now, combine Lucy and Natsu together.

They both have their flaws. But, I don't regret saying their the perfect couple. They have their cracks, and they do not have immortal ichor running through their veins. In a way, Lucy and Natsu are both regular teens. (who am I kidding?) Everyone has their problems, ok. No one is perfect, and I'm happy, because if people we all perfect, the world would be a very boring place. Normality Is overrated.

I'm not saying they have a relationship like Romeo and Juliet. But, in the end, if you put aside the revealing clothes and the crazy fire powers, they're sincere, honest, altruistic, trustworthy people. They're dependable, and they stick together. They're relationship builds up! I mean, a lot of regular relationships don't last long. But, I mean, they just act so natural with each other. I can't picture Team Natsu without Lucy besides Natsu and I can't picture Lucy without Natsu. Crazy fangirl rants aside, they just click. Like a jigsaw puzzle. That's what Fairy Tail is all about. They're a damn family. They never leave their nakama behind and they certainly don't abandon each other. They do not have a relationship that makes the sun weep with joy and the moon cry with envy. But Natsu and Lucy do have a relationship that's tight, and dammit, isn't that what man looks for? Man looks for another companion, because (even if I hate admitting it) man can't withstand solitude. So, even if I threaten to shove a hot stick up Hiro's ass and (dare I say it?) if Natsu and Lucy don't get together, I'm still happy, because their relationship is adorable. I'm pretty sure if Natsu and Lucy got together, it wouldn't violate their friendship; it'd make it stronger, because they'd get to love each other in ways they couldn't. And I'm pretty sure they'd be together for life. Why? Because they balance each other out so well. Their child (sorry, Nashi) would be so adorable. Besides, Natsu and Lucy have that cliched "best friends to lovers" feel about them. Maybe their too young, maybe their too denser, or both, or whatever, and maybe Hiro won't show us them getting together, but in my heart, they're together, they're married, and their going to be that way until the day I die. When their together, their warmth makes me feel good. I just love Natsu and Lucy together. They're not perfect (Lucy could stand to lose some of those boobies and Natsu could stand to get a little smarter) but it's alright.

So, for all you ogre's and trolls out there who'd think that Natsu and Lucy should stay friends, whatever, it's your opinion. But guess what?

Their not perfect, but their better than you.

Think about that while you bitch on the internet about Crazy Shippers and their delusions. Because, if I want to waste my life on the internet, shipping two anime characters till the day I die, let me. Because its my right, and its my life. And it's my opinion. We didn't fight wars for the common people to just sit back and take it like wimps. So, like the war hardened ranter that I am, I believe that everyone should have their say. I love a good debate, so if you think otherwise between Natsu and Lucy...

Come at me bro.

Oh, yes, let's bring the first amendment into this. FREEDOM OF SPEECH (it's not really freedom really, why? Because it has restrictions) This is not offending anyone. I clearly say that you are entitled to your opinion, and I am not hating. That, I can't stand. I am simply, in a well-worded fashion of course, speaking my mind.

Of course, I am a crazy no-life fangirl. Duh! But now I'm pissed, because a troll made me get serious. I don't really like getting serious. I prefer being the creep that I am. And insulting Natsu and Lucy is insulting Hiro Mashima, and even though he is an annoying meanie who holds out on us, he's a brilliant man whom I would love to meet. I'm not going to sit here and let anyone hurt Fairy Tail (or any anime at that).

Uh. I'm done here. I just had to add my own opinion. I really do understand what others say about wanting Nalu to stay friends, because I have friendships like that (I have friends?!). But you know what? I could bitch for eternity, but in the end, it's up to Hiro Mashima to see what he want's to do!

So, whatever.

Also, they need to hurry up and add more chapters of the manga! Uh! I want to see what's happening NOW. And like I had Tsubaki tell you, I am positive that something EPIC is going to happen. YES! And OH MAVIS (Oh dear, not again. Gray, you have a naughty girl on your hands) I can't wait. I think I'm going to go in another episode of Nalu ecstasy. Oh...just can't wait.

Hmm...any suggestions? Anyone want me to talk about anything? Still looking for sugggestions? Does anyone want to see me write a one-shot? (I'm lying here! I don't do one-shots easily)

**Bonus Part!**

**My Top Ten Favorite Characters on Fairy Tail**

**Gray Fullbuster (number 1!) **

**Erza Scarlet (Number 2!)**

**Natsu Dragneel (Number 3!)**

**Lucy Heartphilia (Number 4!) **

**Loke a.k.a Leo the Lion (Number 5!)**

**Jellal Fernandez (Number 6!)**

**Lyon Vastia (Number 7!)**

**Laxus Dreyar (Number 8! Boss!)**

**Wendy Marvell (Number 9!)**

**Mirajane Strauss (Number 10!)**

That's it for now, folks! (I forgot the apleet-apleet-apleet part)

Fairy Tail forever!

Thinwrist!

* * *

Authors Note:...What's wrong with me? I don't know either. :p


	10. Chapter 10

Aw, Hell, I admit it

I am a firm Lyon and Juvia supporter. I never shipped Juvia and Gray, not because I didn't like Juvia and Gray (Gray's mah hubby) but because I'm selfish. I won't accept Gray being taken from me.

Heh. Heh. Well...?

Gray is like my favorite character. A huge chunk of it is because he has a nice body and strips a lot and I have a thing for guys who wield ice (Toshiro anyone?) but, he is just like every other mage in Fairy Tail. Altruistic, dependable, and silly. I love him. Ahh! Trust me, I don't give up on my hubbies. Especially if like, I've claimed them for myself. I'm selfish, and dammit, I won't admit defeat here. Gray is mines mines mines mines.

But, aw hell, I admit that...yes...Juvia can have Gray. But, remember this Juvia. While he's holding you in his arms, he's thinking about me! He's my forever boyfriend! (Toshiro is my forever husband. What can I say? I'm an absolute slut when it comes to anime males!) For a brief time in my existence, I resented Juvia because she was going after Gray, because he was mines. Must I say it again? Mines mines mines mines mines. But, I realized that, while I'd prefer Juvia falling in love with Lyon, there...*sigh*...progressing. I don't ship this pair, but some many fan girls ogle at me like I'm some toad because I don't want them together. Seriously? YES SERIOUSLY! Duh, I intend to have Gray's child! I don't share! Not at all. It was the same way with Edward Elric, and Toshiro Hitsugaya, and Grimmjow Jeagerjaques. They were all mines, because I said it, and I left my fucking scent on them.

But...sigh...I'd be a hypocrite to go ranting on how Natsu and Lucy have this beautiful relationship and how Erza and Jellal just click and not touch on Gray and Juvia. I was really hoping to put this off, because dammit, he's _mine_. Gray's that type of guy that doesn't exist. Perfect bod, idiot, smart (yes people, he's smart) brave and just...ahh! Swoonable! My Gray baby. Yet, as much as it is killing me here (I think I'll need mouth to mouth Gray) to admit this, I still want Gray happy. Besides, he's still mine. He's just, you know, in another relationship.

So, rain woman, I admit that you and Gray have something going on. And, (unlikely) if Hiro Mashima decides to put you two together (seriously, people, I think Hiro's only going to do like...two couples? And then hint at other pairings but leave them unknown, which is going to make me rip my hair out) then I'll accept that fact. But, Juvia, he's still mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine MINE.

While on the topic of Juvia, she's a lovely woman. A little weird, but I love her, and I'm proud of her for whooping ass. The rain woman is honestly a kind soul, and I was wondering what the hell she was doing in a place like Phantom Lord. Whatever. Juvia's a good girl. That's all. She's not on my list of Favorite Characters, but she's alright with me. I admit, I overlooked her for the first couple of episodes, but, I had to acknowledge her presence sooner or later. She should be happy that I'm not describing how I'd gut her if she ever _thought_ of touching Gray. But, nah, I'm not in a blood thirsty mood. Besides, anyone who'd kick ass just for Gray is alright with me! So, rain woman, drip drip drop, the rain has ended since you apparently have found the sun behind the clouds. I'd be happy if you gave Lyon a chance, but I wouldn't mind it staying a love triangle.(What can I say? I'm a selfish petty creature)

Gray's epic, he's lovely, and he's what makes my heart beat currently. When I move on (I'll never leave Fairy Tail!) to another anime and find another hottie who makes me squeal, I hope Gray knows I'll never forget him. Just like I never forgot Toshiro (Bleach). Mines for eternity. Let's stay frozen together forever, shall we Gray?

On other matters, the end of the world is upon us. In the United States (and in other places of course) it's December, 12, 2012. at midnight it will have been the twelfth hour of the twelfth day of the twelfth month of the twelfth year. Oh! The world's going to end. But apparently, the world was supposed to end on June, 6, 2006 at six o'clock. And it was supposed to end January 1st 2000 at the first stroke of the new year. So, trust me, we're stuck in this reality. Oh well, even if the world ended, I'd have no regrets. I'd happily die saying "Oh well. It was a simple, good life. At least I didn't have to work!"

So, if the world does end, I regret nothing!

Nalu forever.

And if it doesn't end, still

NALU FOREVER.

-Thinwrist!

* * *

Author's Note: I think we need to have a talk here. a brief little mini-rant. Graylu isn't going to happen. why? because Gray seems to treat Lucy like a sister. _I saw him rub her head. I_s that the same person who'd want to kiss her and hold her? If any guy who i was interested in rubbed my head, I'd lose interest in them immediately. It's just not going to happen. Sorry, Graylu lovers. Really am, but, haven't you heard the word? ITS NALU FOREVER!


	11. Chapter 11

**The Anime Cycle!**

**This is going to be rare for me, but, I'm not going to rant in this post. You're probably thinking 'aw, why not?' but, here's the reason. I feel accomplished. I did something good today, something that made me swell with pride here. I had an epic, all-out, bloody war with a roach, and dammit, I won! I mean, I walk in my bedroom, and the bastard is right ****_there_****, just crawling on my wall like 'yo, got any chips?'. I was thinking, what the hell? My room's not dirty enough to beckon nasty creepy crawlies. My first reaction was to naturally of course, have Tsubaki kill it, but, I sucked it up because my computer was right under the fucker and I had stuff to do. So I grabbed my hardest shoe, steeled myself, and thought "A real man doesn't shy away from vermin! He kills it! Man!". Trust me, it was a bloody war that involved cussing and lots and lots of violence...it went on for a good ten minutes before I lay panting in my own sweat, my weapon in hand, gasping, while the roach gleefully danced out of my reach. And fuck, I was not going to lose to a damn roach. If Natsu could shove a foot up Hades ass, then I could bring down a roach (who was ENORMOUS). Steeling myself again, I told myself that I was no man if I let that bastard win, and I told the roach that it would die before I did, or we'd both go tumbling down to hell. I feel so bad for my wall, but in the end, in the roach's final struggling moments, when I had it pinned on the floor, my triumphant foot hovering above its pathetic body, I looked it down my nose and said 'THIS IS A MAN', and I crushed it with all my might. I felt so accomplished; I was tempted to say 'THIS IS FAIRY TAIL' too, but I'm pretty sure Fairy Tail's not about stomping bugs. But, whatever, I was a boss, and I rocked, and tonight, little roachie babies are mourning the loss of their loved one. **

**So, because I killed a fat-ass roach, I feel accomplished (did I mention I got homework done too? Oh! I deserve a grammy!)and since I feel big and bad, I'm uploading a post, and then, I intend to pull an all-nighter with the Sims! Enough about me though, I'm boring you to death!**

**So, , I wanted to talk about the Stages of Anime Addiction, or the Anime Cycle. Fairy Tail in particular. I don't know about my fellow shippers out there, but I usually go a-hunting for new anime expecting not to like it. When I look at an anime and say 'ohh...looks good' it usually disappoints me. But, when I look at an anime and sneer at it. Like 'wow, that sounds stupid' but I watch it anyway, I usually end up addicted and scratching myself like a meth-head just waiting for my next fix. (Currently watching this anime called 'Is is a Zombie?')**

**So, here's how I became so enraptured with the BEST ANIME OF ALL TIME. **

**-Warning: Each case of Anime Addiction is different, for every watcher is slightly different. All these stages may not have happened to you, but if none of these stages have happened to you, you need to get the hell outta here because there's just something wrong here-**

**STAGE ONE: You stumble upon Fairy Tail. Or, in unique cases, your friend tells you about Fairy Tail. Or, you read about it online. Whatever way you stumble upon Fairy Tail, you just do. You meet Lucy. First thought "wow, her tits are huge. Meh, typical anime girl'. Then you meet Natsu. First thought 'Pink hair. Unusual, even among anime males. Seems to be a dumb ass, but damn...he's hot.'. You leave the first episode thinking 'seems good enough. Maybe i'll come back (if I can ever get over FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST BROTHERHOOD! WAHH!)**

**STAGE TWO: You have no idea why you came back, but you did. You watch another episode, or several episodes. You get to know the plot line. Something warm blossoms in your chest and you find yourself laughing. Seems good. But, you're still hung over Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood and just isn't ready for another 'relationship'. You leave the second (or fifth in my case) episode still shrugging, but your insides are fluttering, and you go to sleep with Natsu in your head **

**STAGE THREE: Okay. So you purposefully watch more episodes. What the hell, why not? The whole point of anime is to watch and move on, even if Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood tore out your heart and stomped on it...it was so good! You begin to familiarize yourself with Fairy Tail's antics, and even begin to remember the character's name. You stop calling them 'that stripping ice boy' or 'the really pretty chick with the white hair' or 'the badass with the red hair.' At this stage, you even begin to like some of the character's. **

**STAGE FOUR; Fine, fine, you admit it, you are now watching Fairy Tail. At this point you know all the characters (so far), what they look like, who's the idiot, and there powers. You even know some of their background. That warm feeling inside you has grown and is now pumping through your viens like a dangerous toxin. Is it love? You wonder. No way, you say. I won't ever love another anime like FMA:B! Yet you acknowledge the fact that this show is rising up on your awesome scale, and that Erza totally kicks ass, and that Natsu is just a boss, and that Gray is really...really...really...sexy**

**STAGE FIVE: Dude, you've watched atleast thirty episodes. This show rocks. Fullmetal who? It's love! It's love! The pain that that other anime left inside you is gone! You totally understand the Fairy Tail world, and your beginning to really love Fairy Tail. This show is awesome! **

**STAGE SIX: Oh, shit, this show is EPIC. Damn. It's just THE BOSS. Yes, yes, that dangerous love toxin is still going strong, and your head is swimming with how AWESOME Fairy Tail is, but who cares? Oh, and whenever you see the sexiest guy on Fairy Tail, your heart thumps madly, and geez, you just wanna have that guy's baby. **

**STAGE SEVEN: You begin to notice pairings. (WARNING: THE ADDICTION TRULY BEGINS HERE. THE FIRST SIX STAGES WERE NORMAL. After this, the level of addictions become intermediate. You are slowly, but surely, beginning to Fangirl this) **

**Don't Natsu and Lucy look cute together. You are fully immersed in the story now! So immersed now that you know Natsu's dragon father is Igneel, who dissapeared seven years ago, and he joined Fairy Tail. Gray Fullbuster lost his parents to a demon named Deliora who was created by the dark magician Zeref, and he trained with Ur, who died saving Gray and Lyon from Deliora. You know that Lucy ran away from home to join Fairy Tail...yah, you get my drift. This is what I like to call assimilation. You don't just know Fairy Tail at this point...you're becoming Fairy Tail. **

**STAGE EIGHT: So deep into the plot line here. Woah! So many pairings! The show is the boss! Oh geez, you weep in joy now. You begin to get angry when you don't get one episode of Fairy Tail a day. You get mad when someone asks you 'What's Fairy Tail?'. You don't understand it yet, but you seriously want Natsu and Lucy to kiss. And so many new character's. You are now looking on the internet for pictures of Fairy Tail-preferably the pairings, and the best team ever! What happens when you don't get to watch the latest episode? You turn into a bitch. That's what. Um...speaking about it, when was the last time you watched an episode...like, 3 hours ago...scratch, scratch. That's too long. **

**STAGE NINE: FAIRY TAIL FOR FUCKING EVER! Oh, how did you live before it? It's the best! Oh, you love it. You are now shipping Nalu (or Jerza or Gale or whatever you want). You begin to quote Fairy Tail, and talk to your friends about it. Usually by starting the sentence like this "I know you don't care and don't know what I'm talking about but...". You are now considering getting a tattoo of the Guild mark somewhere on your body**

**STAGE TEN: Yes. You are definantly getting that tattoo. Maybe in the place that Gray has it. Or, maybe on your hand, or shoulder. Dammit, it just has to be somewhere. 50% of your thoughts involve Fairy Tail and of that percent 20% involves your favorite couple, which is seriously getting on your nerve. By Stage Seven, you had already been suspicious of Hiro Mashima of being a troll, but now you are positive that he is a dick out to torture you to death. Your love interest on the show is just the best, and oh! If you could get your ****_hands _****on them, it'd be over. You've been reading Fanfiction for a while now, and you've begun following Hiro Mashima's twitter page, and your just sniffing around for any rumors. Any tidbit that you get sets you on fire. You've read the manga too (duh?) and dammit, it's so good. You begin going a little nuts here. Scratch, scratch. Dammit it, when is the new chapter going to be released? Hiro Mashima is a troll! When's the next episode? You've watched ALL THE OVA'S. AND FUCK IT, WHEN'S THE MOVIE GOING TO BE OUT. You die a little when your favorite ship does something sweet, and you are thinking, what if they become my OTP? Ah! Sweet anime love. You begin to worry...what will I do when Fairy Tail ends. Oh...I'm in love!**

**STAGE ELEVEN: SNGFODSNBSGOBNIFDSGHSOFDGDFG SHDF FAIRY TAIL IS THE BEST SFBSDJFNSDKJFSKDBSFD THOSE TWO NEED TO HOOK UP AJDSKFNISDUFHSDJFSDKNFKSDJF YES, YES, KICK HIS ASS AJWNBAIUWEHAWHEB WHEN'S THE NEXT CHAPTER AOJUNDFSIFUHNSDKJFN OH, HE'S A BOSS! ASKJDSNKJFSDNFSD SLDDGJNDFKJGNDF HAHAHA I LOVE THEM AODJSFSKDFNSKDJFNSDK THERE SO HOT AOJDSNKJNFSKJDFNSDKF NO FUCKING WAY, DID HE JUST DO THAT OJANUFKSJDNFSKDJF NO HE CAN'T LOSE! SAJFSKDFNSD THIS IS FAIRY TAIL!1**

**STAGE TWELVE (Oh, no. the ending): No. It can't be. No. It's ending. Your crying. Your world, your whole world is crumbling and breaking. Please, no, don't go. I need you. I need you like the baby needs its mother! I need you like the sun needs the moon! Baby, please don't end! If you do, I'm nothing. (sob, sob). You're depressed. You refuse to end it. Screw it, Fairy Tail lives forever. When something pink catches your eye, you break down and cry. No! The world is a black ball of hatred because there are NO MORE FAIRIES!**

**STAGE THIRTEEN: So, against all odds, you ended it. A part of you is skipping with happiness or rage, because it ended like you wanted it to or it ended fine, or ended terribly and you are just sharpening your machete because HIRO MASHIMA IS GOING TO DIE. Then, another part of you is...wait? What the hell? Where's the other part of you? A piece of you has died. You can't feel it. You slump into bed, cry to sleep, wake up, stay in bed, and moan. Why? **

**STAGE FOURTEEN: After a solid two weeks inside, you peek outside and see that the world is still living. You sit there, and reminiscence about everything, and laugh, and cry, and squeal about all your favorite parts. You hug yourself and touch your heart, because nestled in there is Fairy Tail, a piece of you is forever! You're getting that tatoo, and your computer wall paper is all Fairy Tail, you've scrawled Fairy Tail all over you, and dammit, you're just all about Fairy Tail. You'll never forget said anime, and, when you stand, you have a reason to keep living, because now that you've broken your heart, you're ready to find another anime and do it all over again. And thus, begins the new cycle. But, Fairy Tail is forever in there, and you're all fired up!**

**STAGE FIFTEEN: Oh lookie. What's this? Nah, it sounds lame. Besides, I'm still hung over Fairy Tail. I can't fall in love with another anime after what Fairy Tail's done to me. No, no way. I love it too much. I'm done with anime. You watch the first episode of this new anime, think meh, but yet, the next day you come back...**

**And thus, those are the stages of Addiction. It can happen to you from ANY anime. I was just using Fairy Tail as an example. What stage are you at? Let's hope we never get to stage twelve and above. That is the Anime Cycle right there, Readers. You see another anime, fall madly in love, get addicted, and when it ends your crushed. And you start it all over again, and keep breaking your heart and falling in love, because thats the only thing to do. It's a dangerous cycle, because you can seriously go a little bonkers, but, for anime, you'll do it, won't you? Only those who fall out of love with anime altogether stop the cycle. And I, in fact, an never ready to stop the Stages of Addictin and the Cycle of Anime!**

**Did I do good? Of course! Cause I'm awesome. **

**Any suggestions? PM me or drop a review?**

**I can't believe I got 100 reviews in just 10 chapters. Wow. Never got that far before. Maybe, you know, I can get to 500? Then 1,000? Haha, a girl can dream right? Sides, reviews stroke my ego, and I'm pretty sure my ego shouldn't be stroked. It's a vain thing. Thanks for reading! And always tune in because until Fairy Tail ends (or Nalu happens) I'll keep posting. So, get ready to ride this out with me! **

**NATSU AND LUCY FOREVER!**

**AND FAIRY TAIL UNTIL EXISTENCE CEASES TO EXIST!**

**YAY!**

**-Thinwrist!**

* * *

**Author's Note: Seriously, no one else has Elfmen moments? Tsk, tsk. A man who does not acknowledge that she is a man is simply no man. wait, what the hell, I'm a girl! Whatever. I am a wo...MAN!**


	12. Chapter 12

The Curious Case of the Pregnant Lucy

Well, well, this had to be addressed. The curious case of the pregnant Lucy!

This is somewhat related to crack fic pairings, because it seems that Lucy been knocked up by every guy on Fairy Tail (I even think she's had a kid for Makarov) but, come on, it is hilarious. I've read enough stories about Lucy having a baby...and they all just seem a little wrong. Well, not all of them. Some of them are pretty good. Especailly the one-shots; it takes great skill to write about Lucy having a baby and trust me, a lot of these stories don't make up to it. Well, that's by my prissy little standards here, but I think I'm being a little harsh here! Oh well. Constructive critiscm is the best!

So, have you ever read a Fanfiction with Lucy getting knocked up by...oh, Natsu perhaps. (this leads back to my discussion about why Natsu is Natsu and it should stay that way). It's hilarious how Natsu either A) Doesn't know what Lucy is talking about B) Bursts out in tears and smiles like a goof ball, promising to be the best damn father ever C) Says cheesy OOC lines that make me cringe D) gingerly picks her up, takes her to her bed, and for some reason, they cuddle and try to make another baby. And in one case that had me rolling on the floor E) Has to fight Loke for his right to have a mini-Natsu. It's too damn funny.

But, seriously people? You think that will happen? Oh, and don't even get me started on Lucy having other guys kids...ehem...Loke's...Gray's...you get the drift. And in those cases, Natsu usually get's all fired up and wants to fight them...or realizes he loves Lucy...yah, yah, you see what I mean.

Well, _if _Lucy and Natsu were canon, and _if _it was known that they banged rocks together, and one day Lucy tells Natsu she's having a mini-Natsu, I think it'd go something along these lines:

Lucy blushing like crazy, walks up to Natsu, for some reason, AT THE GUILD. Natsu is doing something stupid. Lucy tells Natsu she's pregnant. Natsu stares at her. He stares at her some more. And continues to stare. Then, he falls to the floor, laughing like a dumb ass. Erza, who overheard the word 'baby' and 'for you', goes over to Lucy, get's the whole story, and has to drag Natsu into a corner. She transforms into Purgatory Armor and has to explain that when a girl says she's pregnant, she does not mean 'she ate a bad burrito'. It means that certain idiot dragon slayer has flowered her seeds, and now one has sprouted. Natsu stares. Natsu stares. Natsu stares. Then, I'm pretty sure, he will start screaming his head off because _holy shit there's a kid growing in Lucy's belly _(he probably overlooks the fact that she's a teenager, he's a teenager, and they are not suited to be raising some kid) and starts running around like someone's just shoved a hot rock up his ass. (being immune to fire and all, wouldn't that feel good?) Erza, meanwhile, will probably pass out, and Gray, along with half the guild, has passed out because Natsu getting laid is just an impossibilty. Wendy will calmly ask a smirking Makarov how a kid is growing inside Lucy, and Makarov will smile and begin by saying 'When a Dragon Slayer and a Celestail Spirit Mage really like each other-' and then, Mirajane will have to stop him. Laxus, like a boss, will say 'keh'. Gajeel will say something lewd about Natsu's manhood, claiming that he couldn't possibly see Natsu landing any girl, nonetheless Lucy, which in turn will cause Levy to reprimand him, and then lead to an uber-cute Gale moment which will melt all fangirl's hearts. Natsu is still running around like a mad man, and the other half of the guild that isn't passed out is now trying to pick up their jaws from the floor because _holy shit, Natsu got laid! _Juvia is probably dancing her ass off because that means Gray is all hers! When Gray wakes up, she'll move closer to him, and ask 'Gray-sama, since Natsu and Lucy did it, how about we try and make a baby too?' at this remark, Gray will look at Juvia in horrer, and then say 'wait, what? Flame-Brain is having a kid...with _Lucy_?!' and pass out again. Lyon will pop out of no-fucking-where and gather Juvia in his arms, whispering to her 'Juvia-chan, leave that man alone. I'm ready to have as many kids as you want'. Meanwhile, Elfman is hugging Lisanna, who is doing NOTHING, and happily saying 'it takes a MAN to have kid. Man! That's a MAN!' Mirajane, after handling Makarov, is probably happily imagining what the baby will look like. Gray wakes up again, and shakes his head. Then he says 'damn, who would thought that Natsu actually had balls!' and then, because that's the only thing that would've stopped Natsu from screaming, he attacks Gray, and they get in a fight, which for some reason, get's the whole guild involved, and then, choas follows, and Makarov has to step in and stop it. Lucy, standing in the middle of the destruction, wonders why the hell did she decide to tell the idiot now, and then out of nowhere, Loke pops up, crying and whimpering and blubbering about betrayal. I'm pretty sure though, he'll say he'll always love her, and when she gets tired of messing around with that half-wit, she can come to a real man at any time. Virgo will come too, and say something like 'Princess, I think it is you who deserves punishment now'. Aries will shyly tell Lucy that she's sorry, and congratulation on the child, and Tauras will cry about Lucy's boobs getting saggy. Lucy will angrily send them away, which will cause Erza to fuss over her, telling her she shouldn't be moving so much. Finally, Makarov has managed to caputure the renegade idiot, and drags the pink haired fool towards Lucy. I'm still pretty sure Natsu will be a little out of it, but after AN UBER SWEET NALU MOMENT, he'll say 'I'm all fired up!' and tell Lucy there going to name it 'Igneel'. Happy will make a slick comment about Lucy getting fat, and then, because this is Fairy Tail, they're going to throw a party.

Did I go too far? I don't think so. I'm mean, this is Fairy Tail people. I'm pretty damn sure that something like that would happen. Why would Natsu go crazy? He'd be freaking out over the fact that Lucy has a kid inside her, not over the fact that he caused it. And you all know that half the guild will have their jaw on the floor, along with ALL the fangirls, and half the guild will have passed out because no one can get it into their minds about their Natsu banging rocks with someone else! But, hey, it's just what I think will happen. It won't be as silly and stupid as that, but it's better than a lot of others I've read. I only did that whole Natsu laughing about the word pregnant thing because we don't know how much of an idiot he truly is. Some people just make him seem so stupid.

Example:

"Lucy's pregnant, dumbass" says Gray

"Wait, what? What the hell does that mean?" Natsu reply's

You get what I mean? Ka-peesh. Hey, for all we know, he could be that stupid. Or, he could know everything and still want to be a dumbass.

So, since this isn't a very long post (I pulled a Sim all-nighter) and I'm really tired, I think I'll end it here. Oh, and, how do you think the whole CURIOUS CASE OF THE PREGNANT LUCY will fold out? Not that it will every happen. Even this nutty fangirl knows that Hiro wouldn't do something like that...he'd fufill my dreams. And that would not make him a troll. And he loves being a troll...a little too much,

Well, thank for reading! And come again! And yay, Episode 161 Is out!

NALU FOREVER!

FAIRY TAIL UNTIL EXISTENCE CEASES TO EXIST!

Jaa Ne!

-Thinwrist!

* * *

Authors Note: Ugh. Just not feeling it today, for some reason. I think Tsubaki's just so much of a buzz kill, that her very presence sucks the giddiness out of me. Review? I'd love to hear what you think would happen if Natsu ever found out he was having a kid! And Ship ON!


	13. Chapter 13

When she first met him, he was slamming a fist into her best friend's face. In the heat of the brutal assault, all she saw was a monster.

When she first saw his face, he was smirking, grinning maliciously while he grabbed her by the arm, and tossed her away, like a ragdoll. Lying on her back, the first contact she had with him, was his fist, brutal and relentless in her gut. His callous hands, when she couldn't move anymore, slid over her skin, under her shirt. The first sound he ever caused her to make was a scream while he ripped her shirt to shreds. His first words to her were:

"Shut up. I don't want any piece of you"

The first time she heard him laugh, was while she was on the tip of unconsciousness,

"Gi hee"

She remembered many things. She remembered her first book: she remembered falling in love with not just books, but with the words themselves.

Levy remembered many things.

She remembered growing up with Jet and Droy. She remembered learning Solid Script. She remembered all the fantasy books she'd read, filled with Prince Charmings that made her swoon.

But his memory was seared into her mind. Above all her memories, the memory of Gajeel Redfox was etched in her for eternity.

She hated him after that. After she'd awoken, she hated him for causing her pain, for hurting her friends, and destroying her guild. He was evil; just downright evil for doing such a thing. For ages, she hated him, even after the war between the guilds had ended.

And then, he came back. He'd made her feel weak and scared, terrified that she'd feel his pain again. She'd considered leaving, just so that, whenever he looked her away, cold fear would pump her heart faster, and cause her to run away.

She didn't know what Fairy Tail was thinking, allowing him to join her guild.

After a while, she noticed, they'd stopped hating him. They stopped glaring and whispering and ignoring him. Right before her eyes, they accepted him.

But she didn't. _She wasn't going to_. She had resolved herself to stay, and to be strong, because she was a mage of Fairy Tail, and she couldn't be weak. But she wasn't going to forgive him; because what angered her the most, while he sat there and grew comfortable, was that he didn't even _look_ sorry. Not once, when she felt his steely gaze on her, did he show any remorse for what he'd done to her. To her friends. To her guild.

The jackass!  
She was content with hating him.

But then, the idiot, _the jerk_, had to go and change that.

It began when he first protected her. She wished that lightning attack had hit her; she wished that she'd been fried, so that she could continue to _hate_ him. Yet, the second he took that hit, everything changed. Standing before her, gasping and struggling to hold himself up, he changed in her mind.

When he looked at her, just before he passed out, his eyes still didn't say sorry.

It wasn't _fair_, the way he managed to change in her mind. The Monster turned into a Man. It wasn't fair that, over time, she stopped being scared of him, and she stopped hating him for what he'd done.

It was his entire stupid fault!

Such a callous man! Such an annoying, unmannerable, rough fool! He was nothing like she wanted; he was no Prince Charming. He had no class, no finesse, and no sophistication. Brash, stupid, and annoying, that was what he was. He was the dragon that the prince had to slay…but, where was the prince?

How? Why? As she realized that somehow, someway, he was her friend.

Was it because of his boldness? Was it because he wasn't normal? Could it be because, when she was with him, she wasn't scared? She was stronger. He was a solid, stubborn force, like iron, that couldn't, _wouldn't_, fall.

But the fluttering, the blushing, the thumping, didn't start until much later. It was, as many strange things began, during a fight.

She'd been angry at him, because he was a jerk, and had stormed away.

Not long later, she found herself pinned beneath an enemy, fighting for her life.

Then, he came, slashing and hacking, and amidst the violence he was so akin to, she found herself being protected again.

"It's a pain in the ass finding someone as small as you" he'd said.

And anger had filled her

_"So don't leave my side"_

And the anger had collapsed, turning mushy and slow, pumping throughout her body incredibly fast, racing throughout her body like a deadly lethal drug. A drug named Gajeel.

And she'd hated him again. _Hated_ him for making her heart flutter. _Hated_ him for making her feel weak and lonely _without _him. _Hated_ him for making her chest ache when he was in danger for being a dangerous reckless bastard. _Hated_ it when he couldn't stand to fight anymore. _Hated_ it when he decided to live like he would die. She hated him, for _loving_ him.

Sometimes, when he wasn't there, she'd touch a scar on her body, the scar that he had caused, long ago, when they'd first met, and the very first thing that she had felt from him was his fist, slamming into her body. She'd touch the rough, unsmooth skin, and sigh, thinking back to the days when she'd wished for a Prince Charming. And instead, she'd gotten the Dragon.

* * *

Authors Note: *gasp* I wrote a one-shot? yes, yes I did. By popular request, and tired fingers, I wrote a one shot. Don't expect a lot of those though. This is a blog. Well, a bloggy thing that includes one shots. Whatever. As long as it talks about FT I'm happy!


	14. Chapter 14

NatsuxEverything Possible and LucyxExistence

I'm going to sit here and try to explain why I did not update in the last...three...four...days.

Excuse One: My Internet was being a little whiny bitch

Excuse Two: I saw a rainbow and got depressed, and decided that life wasn't worth living. Spiraled into a mini-depression, contemplated why the fuck life exists, bashed religion, and then, for no reason, when it was gray and depressing, I was happy again.

Excuse Three: I had to help Tsubaki with a project (ha-ha! That's too funny! I'm such a bad liar!)

Excuse Four: I was playing the Sims for several days.

Excuse Five: I got lazy, so lazy that I could not ask my darlin' sis to update for me.

Well, four out of those five excuse are true. At some point, my internet decided to be a stupid prissy asshole, and then, I did see a rainbow, and since daylight and bright things make me cringe, I spiraled into a depression. I guess Excuse Four is somewhat of a lie. I did play the Sims for a LONG, but I crashed somewhere along 6 am the next day. And yes, I got so lazy that I couldn't even ask Tsubaki to update for me. Oh well. I know you were patiently waiting for a chapter.

So I will deliver!

So, let's talk about Fairy Tail couples! (duh, isn't that, like all I talk about?)

I'm going to sit here and adress all the MAJOR couples and shipping couples out there. (I'm so sorry IchiyaxErza fans)

Couple One: NatsuxLucy (Goes by Nalu)

Um...I think there are like twelve chapters here dedicated to Nalu. Nalu is a couple on Fairy Tail consisting of Natsu Dragneel and Lucy Heartphilia. It is semi-canon, which means Hiro Mashima is simply too much of a troll to give us that kiss yet. Natsu Dragneel is a hotheaded Fire Dragon Slayer mage, with a sexy six pack (not beer), and awesome pink hair. He runs around half naked most of the time, which sometimes, turns me on. Lucy Heartphilia is a stellar Celestial Spirit Mage with an E-sized bust, and a ridicoulous body. Like, a barbie body. Yeah. She'd only look good in an anime (come on now, be serious! If Lucy was real, she'd look discombobulated) The clothing she wears sometimes just screams 'I'm looking for any madman to rape me'. (Its so true! Does she own any jeans? Or anything that it not ten inches above the knees? Not hating, because Lucy is beautiful, but, she dresses like...like she's stuffed herself in some remarkable baby clothes)

Nalu is possibly the most supported couple on Fairy Tail. I'm not going to go in detail with this, because I started the whole damn bloggish thing just for them. But there the best, and there cute together, and yes, you read right when I said that they were semi-canon. (I read that on the wikia.) There semi-canon because Lucy seems to have some genuine feelings for Natsu, and Natsu seems...to like to picture doing dirty things a lot (oh geez, Natsu's all about the kinky stuff isn't he? Ehem...remember when Lucy was stating her butt was red and it hurt, and then, Gray said 'want me to cool it for you?' Happy said 'Lucy, let me see your red butt' and Natsu said 'if I make her butt hurt more, I wonder what Lucy's expression will be like?' yup, my boy's all about the screaming and squeling and whips)

It hasn't been stated if Hiro Mashima has any plans for this couple, but...since this is Mashima were talking about, Lucy could have Natsu's kid for all we know. Mashima is unpredictable. Keep your knives sharpened just in case he plans to play them off as really good friends.

Known Supporters: Um...Only like half the population of FT watchers! Oh, and Lisanna, Mira jane, and maybe Happy.

Couple Two: Jellal and Erza

AKJNSDKJSKDJF AKDJANBKSJDAHKJDSAKJDSAKSDJB AS

THEY'RE CANON.

In my fucking mind, in my crazy little world, those bitches are together. They near-kissed, Jellal grabbed Erza's boobies, and they both admitted they had feelings for the other. That's all it takes. THEY'RE TOGETHER. NO GRAYZA FANS. NO NAZA FANS. THEY'RE CANON.

YES, THE BLUE HAIRED FREAK AND THE TITANIA ARE CANON. STOP CRYING, GET OVER IT, AND BE HAPPY. YOU WERE WRONG. I WAS RIGHT. NOW WATCH ME SHAKE MY ASS ALL NIGHT.

I'm sorry. But, yeah, I was right and for everyone else who was cutting themselves over the fact that Grayza didn't happen..can go...do some things involving a pickle and a sponge (You'll know when you do it)

Jerza consists of Jellal Fernandez and Erza Scarlet.

Erza is an S-class mage of Fairy Tail, the fucking best, and a bad bitch. She's the best. Nuff said. Jellal is a guy with one fucked up life. He has twins? (Mystogan and Siegran...yes I know, Siegran never existed, but I just had to bring it up). I mean, the guy's life is seriously a melodrama. It's like a shakespeare play. Full of tragedy, yet wonderfully twisted and beautiful (I'm all about the darkness!) I won't go into the shit Jellal has gone through. Just know...just know...he deserves happiness. And he seriously needs to get laid, because I'm pretty sure if he got some ass, he wouldn't be half as whiny and annoying as he is now (get to it, Erza!)

Known Supporters: THIS BITCH RIGHT HERE. And other fangirls. And...well...i can't really tell.

THEY'RE CANON. Fuck you all who say otherwise. (I just might lose fans for this)

Couple Three: Gray and Me! (Fine, fine. Juvia)

This couple consists of Gray Fullbuster and Juvia Lockser. Who knows if it will happen? I certainly don't.

Known Supporters: Don't care.

(I understand that I was baised towards this couple. I don't care. I'm overlooking Gruvia. Make your own segment for them. I'm going to be fully petty and small-minded about this.)

Couple Four: Gajeel and Levy

Sometimes called Gale, this cute little couple consists of Gajeel Redfox and Levy McGarden.

Let's be serious? If Gajeel hadn't come along, Levy's character would've stayed flat. But, she's had a more serious role. And with upcoming chapters and episodes, she seems to be getting more and more invovled.

Gajeel Redfox is a strange specimen. He's ugly-hawt. Like, you know he's ugly, but, yet you still think he's hawt. Is it only me? I just wanna tame that wild ass hair. Levy McGarden is a unique character on Fairy Tail too; I'm going to go to the root of why she's unique here. She is not busty. Yes, she lacks boobies. Which pleases me, because this shows that Hiro Mashima is not a sexist pig. Yet, all the girls still have ridicoulously curvy bodies that just make me want to wear a girdle all day long. Even Wendy has curves. Whatever.

Um..I didn't really discuss Levy? Oh well. You watch the anime and read the manga. You know what she's like. I'm getting lazy here.

The thing about Gajeel and Levy is that they really matured over the series. They first began as enemies, and Gajeel seemed like a ruthless bastard (he even stooped low enough to call Lucy a bitch. I was pleased) and then, overtime, you clearly see that they're changing. Levy clearly has a crush on Gajeel. It was even stated in the manga. So, Gale fans, they're semi-canon! (Don't go overboard here. Please don't write fanfics about Gajeel...exploring parts of Levy's 'book') But, like so many idiot males in Fairy Tail, Gajeel is a tsundere and he loves to fight. It is unlikely that we will see him you know, kiss her soon. Oh, what the hell, I WANNA SEE THIS COUPLE HAPPEN. And it is happen. I see huge hints of this in the manga. I mean, Levy takes any oppurtunity she can get to just feel Gajeel up. (You know she's learned some moves from the books she's read.) and, maybe, maybe, Gajeel will get his head out of poo, and see he has a beautiful babe in front of him. (ALL THE GUYS ARE LIKE THIS. Except Jellal. But even Jellal is noble about this. Gosh, at this rate, NONE OF THEM WILL EVER GET TO SECOND BASE. Who am I kidding? They probably are terrified of touching first base)

Known Supporters: Lucy, Panther Lily (boss), and every fangirl out there who acknowledges those two.

P.S. Kya! Gale better happen before Nalu. I'll be dead before I see them kiss. No, I'll resurrect, watch them kiss, and then die again. Add on my grave; 'she woke up just to see Gale happen and died an even happier bitch!'

Okay, now that I've addressed the MAJOR couples, (The big 4 or the fantastic 4...but I don't want Marvel sueing me. Does Marvel even own the Fantastic Four? Oh well. Still sucks to be me if I steal the name. So, it's the big 4)

MINOR COUPLES:

Elfman and Evergreen!

This couple consists of Elfman and that Evergreen woman. Honestly, this couple is getting somewhere. Elfman acknowledged her as a 'woman.' If that doesn't ring a warning bell, then you're blind, deaf, and emotionally detached. Because Elfman calls everything, yes even your saggy droopy boobie Grandma, a MAN. And a MAN only calls one thing a WOMAN, and thats the WOMAN he LOVES. You're no MAN without A WOMAN.

MAN!

Plus, those two went on a secret date together. (Oh! That makes me want to read dirty Fanfiction...not really. Elfmen is a fucking meatball. Too much damn Muscle Milk)

Are there any more minor pairings? I don't think so.

Loke and Lucy

Loke is one sexy guy. I mean, when I see him, I absaloutely must scream, in my silliest girliest vioce, "LOKE!" He is one yummy bastard. Originally, I didn't care much for Loke, because he was a playboy, and playboy's weren't my thing. But, aftere that Loke arc, and that new hairstyle, geez, I just fell madly in love with him. The only reason I put this in minor couples Is because Loke seems to have feelings for Lucy. She absaloutely does not recupriate (spelling?) those feelings. She seems more nervous than anything. Besides, there must always be a rival in love, because I'd happily see Natsu fight for Lucy. Let's be honest here. This really isn't going to happen. (I better be right here, Mashima.)

Lyon and Juvia:

This can happen! For all you greedy fangirls, this could totally happen!

Aw, heck, why am I the only one that likes this?

SHIPPED PAIRINGS.

Graylu:

This consits of Gray with Lucy Heartphilia. Must I say this again? Gray seems to treat Lucy like a lil sister. I don't see any thing to say that he is like, romantically involved with Lucy. That funny little Graylu scene that Juvia invented up in her mind was the only thing that hinted towards it. But, I suppose, ship Graylu if you must. Yes, they are cute together, but no. I see nothing that says they like each other. Does Gray even talk to Lucy that much? Well he must, if he stated that he'd protect her with his life. But Natsu would protect her with his life and soul, until he stopped existing.

Naza, Grayza:

YOU'RE WRONG.

Natsu and Lisanna:

I'm not wasting my time on this. Ignoring this. Lalalala, if I ignore it, it does not exist.

Natsu and Wendy:

Come on people. Damn, there are some pedophiles in the fangirl army. Who wants this? Why does want this? I mean, Wendy is that little sister who cries a lot. Only pedophile rapist want to see this happen. Just...no. Stop it.

Makarov and Wendy: Does anyone ship this? I just thought it'd be funny to bring up, because Makarov is old enough to be Wendy's kid's grandad.

Graytear: Shut up. The one thing I won't have at all, over Gruvia, is Graytear. No.

FreedMira: Do they even talk to each other? Not after she kicked his ass in the Fantasia thing.

LaxusMira: Really? No.

FreedLaxus: Yes, I admit, Freed has a Laxus fetish, but it doesn't go to the point where he'd want to sleep with the man. And Laxus is just too boss to sleep with a man. (no offense to gays. You're the best!) he needs some boobies in his life!

Elfman and Mirajana or Lisanna: That is disgusting. Not because they are brother and sister, and incest is just nasty (trust me, I can take a lot of shit. Cousins and Cousins? Yeah! But sisters and brothers...you should know better) but because Elfman is twice there size and him bending half his hieght to kiss them...is wrong.

LucyxExistence: I literally have seen it all. Lucy has been paired up with EVERYONE. I mean, you might as well pair her up with existence itself, that way, the very fiber of the universe will be paired with her. (sorry, got a little philosophical there. Yes, I have a brain)

NatsuxEverything: I wouldn't be surprised If he was paired up with a rock. They guy's had an OC girlfriend named 'Jill' for pete's sake. If that isn't Mary Sue-ish enough for you, I don't what is.

StingxLucy: Does he even acknowledge that she exists?

RoguexLucy: have they even met?

ErzaxLucy: Dirty horny yuri fans. Get outta here!

LisannaxLaxus: he was caught patting her head once. That does not mean, later on, he wants to pat anything else.

ErzaKnightwalkerxMystogan: Erza Knightwalker is a proffesional hooker dresser! Other than that, I have nothiing to say about this pairing.

LevyxJet: Hmm...

LevyxDroy: The guy would squish her. I'm pretty sure he has his own gravational pull...

I can't think of any other pairings to do...oh no wait...

GajeelxNatsu: Screw me with a screwdriver, this would never happen

GrayxNatsu: No! NO! All you GrayxNatsu fans, LOOK AT ME. SAY IT WITH ME NOW. NO. NO. NO.

Every male in fairy tailxevery other male in fairy tail: Hah, I went to far there didn't I? I mean, I supported some yaoi pairings in my day (GinxKira, anyone? What? NO ONE HERE WATCHED BLEACH. I thought Gin was a hot bitch, and seeing him dominate Kira...just the best) But, this trend seems to be happening a little to often. Oh well, BOY LOVE FOREVER!

I'm done here. I've written about every pairing I could think of, even made a few up, and left some out of purpopse (Romoe and Wendy, Hibikia and Lucy...Ren and Sherry (who cares?) my bad!)

So, if you feel that I left anything out, drop a review!

Suggestions? Review! Hope you enjoyed it.

But in the end, it all boils down to NATSU AND LUCY! (And Gajeel and Levy, and Erza and Jellal...and even...Gray...and...Juvia)

Yay! Until next time! And hope I don't get too lazy again!

Jaa Ne!

FAIRY TAIL UNTIL EXISTENCE CEASES TO EXIST (that's my mantra right there)

-Thinwrist!

* * *

Authors Note: I'm a saint. I updated TWICE again. I'm just awesome. Kya, I'm going to stop stroking my ego now. Hope you enjoyed it. Mhmmm...I'm off to read GinxKira fanfiction


	15. Chapter 15

"Why doesn't he ever stay?"

When those words came from the child's lips, she stiffened abruptly, her body going rigid with the shock coursing throughout her. But, it was gone quickly, for she was accustomed to shock, and her body knew how to overcome it. Slowly, she turned to the little girl standing in front of her, the little girl with the purple hair, and the serious eyes that she could have only received from her father. Gently, with precise movements, for Erza was terrified if she made any sudden movements, she touched her little shoulders and asked, although she already knew the answer, what the child meant

"Daddy" she asked "Why doesn't he ever stay?"

"Why, Simone, are you asking such a question?" her heart was hammering, because it was a silly thing to ask her daughter. The little girl's serious eyes met hers, head on, daring her to lie, because Simone could see right through her mother's lie. She wasn't like normal children; perhaps, it was those eyes she had received from her father, or the trickle of Erza she had in her. Whatever it was, she was not a child who was frequented with silly immature things that normal six year olds did.

"Because," she replied to her mother, her voice struggling to hold back her vexation "The other children, like Aunty Lucy's kids, their fathers are always there"

Erza smirked, trying to keep a look of tranquility on her face "Would you really want a father like Natsu?"

Simone sniffed "Dear Mavis, mother, _no." _

For this, Erza laughed. Her laugh was raspy and dry, filled with her worry and fear. The truth was, Erza herself did not know how to reply to such a question. And, what irked her was the fear hammering in her heart. She loved her child, loved her more than she could ever know. But, how could you explain to a six year old, no matter how mature, why their father could never stay?

Simone's brief distraction ended. Her eyes became steely, and she pressed closer to her mother "I don't want _Natsu _as a father. I don't any other father. I love Daddy. I just want to know why he doesn't stay long. He will come and be gone quicker than the food Aunty Lucy give's Natsu." Her last words cracked a little, and Erza saw the tears brimming on Simone's face. Her arms reached out, wrapping her arms around her child's frails shoulders. She rubbed her hair, and tried not to cry along with Simone, who was shaking and quivering. Her heart beat fast, and she swallowed. She knew that there was no point in holding the truth back. What was the point?

She pulled Simone away, and stared into her eyes. And suddenly, it wasn't Simone she was staring at, but her father, his serious eyes boring into hers.

_"I'm tired of your running" She sighed "If you stayed, just for a while, we could work it out, Jellal. We could try and convince the Magic Council to free you"_

_His eyes, filled with grim dissatisfaction, touched her face. She leaned into the touch, bittersweet longing running through her veins. Why could he not stay? Why did he continue to run? All she wanted was for him to be happy now, to forgive himself. All she wanted was for his freedom. _

_"I can't stay" he answered, his voice a low hush. Her room was usually a safe place to be, but, with the other residents of Fairy Hills, you'd never know "I can't stay Erza. You've given me so much, already. But, I won't stay here and bring you more pain."_

_"But you are!" she'd exploded, her voice rising, then falling rapidly. She moved away from him, anger coursing throughout her veins, making the longing painful now. "You're hurting me by hurting yourself. When you come, you're gone faster than the food Lucy puts on Natsu's plate!"_

_She'd never been childish, and she wasn't selfish. She knew the price of holding onto things, and she also knew that it was always better to give up something someone else wanted. That way, the person's joy was enough to suffice for what you had given. But she wanted to be selfish, she wanted to try and get it into his head, through fists or through words, why he needed to stay. To stop running. He'd die if he continued the way he was, with Crime Sorcerie. She believed that they'd beat Zeref, but, in the end, would he be forgiven by the Magic Council? All she wanted was, no matter what, was for him to stay, to stay and live a normal life again. Or, try to start one. _

_His hand reached out, wiping away a tear she didn't realize she'd shed. _

_"I'm sorry, Erza" he said "But you know why."_

_And she did. She knew why he couldn't stay better than he knew. But, that was all the more reason why she wanted him too. _

_"Tonight then" she proposed "You stay tonight."_

_"And then what?" he replied _

_She shrugged "I don't know. We'll figure it out"_

_A smile broke out across his face. It was so abrupt, so uncalled for, that she was stunned for a moment. Then, she blinked, and she was kissing him. Unlike that night long ago, when he'd pulled back, he didn't resist. Between the few brief seconds where they were allowed to get air, she could see that, he was tired of running too. That he did want to stay. But, against his wants and desires, he couldn't... And that pushed her farther, made her kiss him harder. She wanted him to remember what he was leaving behind, remember what he couldn't stay with. And she wanted to make sure that, no matter what; he would continue to come back. _

_Later on, when he was sleeping soundly for a rare moment of peace, she looked at his face. It didn't hold the anguish and sorrow that it always did. It wasn't hollow, or empty. It looked, almost, like the face of the boy who had been lost long ago. She kissed him on the cheek, and in his sleep, he wrapped an arm around her. _

_She knew that, even though she couldn't be selfish with him, if he could continue to come back, just to stay for a little while, that would suffice. _

"Because," Erza said to her daughter, still remembering that night six years ago "he wants to protect us"

Simone pulled back "What?"

"He doesn't stay because he wants to protect us. In the past, your father, he did terrible things to the world. He did terrible things to me. But, it wasn't his fault. Even if it wasn't, he still can't forgive himself for what he'd done. And he's being hunted for what he's done by the Magic Council. If he were to ever be caught, he'd be arrested. And executed. And, you, me, Fairy Tail itself along with him. Because we've aided him in his escapes. He doesn't want to hurt us anymore"

"But he _is. _He's hurting us by hurting himself!" Simone snapped.

Erza's eyes widened. A tremor rocked throughout her body, and the tears came. She pulled Simone into her tightly, holding her baby, holding the piece of Jellal that would forever be hers. Simone didn't understand. Not yet. She couldn't understand; all she saw was that her father was never there, he was always running.

_"You-you're with child?" he said, his voice lacking the surprise she'd expected. _

_"What?" she replied, daring him to say anything else, other than 'Congratulations'. She may have gotten a little fat, but, she could still requip. And kick his ass. _

_The sun above them was setting low in the sky. Behind them, Fairy Tail's base building rose towards the fading skies. There was the usual hollering and whooping, the usual jeers and the usual sounds of things being broken, coming from the inside. But outside, it was quite. _

_"That's unexpected." He mused_

_"Why?" she asked innocently, slowly letting a little venom drip into her voice _

_"Because" he replied, "I just never thought you'd want a…a baby"_

_Silence. Then, she patted her stomach, miracously hidden behind armor, and smiled _

_"Of course I would want one. Otherwise, how could I hold onto a little piece of you?"_

_In the fading sunlight, his dark eyes widened. He turned towards her, and hugged her tightly _

_"What-what will you name it?"_

_"Simon…or Simone." _

_He stiffened, and she hoped she hadn't hit a sore spot. Then she heard a sniff_

_"You've done too much for me, already, Erza."_

_"I might as well," she answered "since, of course, you can't stay"_

"He loves you" Erza whispered to Simone "He loves you more than you can imagine. If he didn't, he would've abandoned us, and never returned. But, it's because he loves us, because he loves you, Simone, that he keeps coming back."

There was silence. With short, quick movements, Simone untangled herself from Erza. She wiped at her tears, and sniffed

"He does? And if he could, he could stay?"

She patted Simone's head "Of course"

"W-when do you think he'll be back?"

_"What do you mean, come back? I'm already here."_

They both whipped around, staring at the man in the silhouetted doorstep. He looked tired, and his hair was longer than necessary, but, his smile was still earnest, and his arms stood open. Erza stood, but besides her, a tiny form threw herself at him, taking both the man and the child down. On the floor, Simone sat on his chest, and thumped him on the head

"Idiot!" she wailed "What took you so long?"

He laughed, and with that, he rose to his feet, holding Simone in one arm. She buried her head into his hair. With his free arm, he beckoned Erza to him. She smirked, and turned away.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

She said nothing, only heading into a different room. When she came back, she held something small in her arms.

His eyes widened again

"Well, you have been gone for 10 months" she said, handing the newborn baby to him. Simone shimmied from his grasp, and smiled

"His name is Ferdinand." She informed her father

He rocked the little baby more, and, then, one of his rare smiles broke out again, a messy mop of blue hair peeked out from the blanket , and a short, chubby arm moved in the air.

"I'm sorry" he said "I'm sorry I took so long"

She moved towards him, wrapping her arms around his torso. Placing a peck on his neck, she replied

"As long as you keep coming back, I can survive."

Simone, watching her mother and father, blinked. Then she smiled, because, she understood now. As long as he kept returning, she would be happy. He wasn't running away. He was keeping them safe.

And she was happy that she had gotten Jellal as a dad. And _not _ Natsu.

* * *

Authors Note: About the name choice. i just think Erza would name her kid after that Simon guy. If youu read the next chapter, you'll understand why I've been making so many one-shots.


	16. Chapter 16

Forum, Schmrum

Wahh!  
I got my first bad review(s). Well, not really bad, but someone, _several_ people in fact, decided to be helpful and point out that this should be a on a forum or something! Wahh!

I'm just kidding. I know this should be on a forum. But, really? I'm too lazy to go preen up a page for NatsuxLucy lovers on Tumblr or whatever. There are enough of those. And plus you should realize that by now, I like to do things in unorthodox ways. That's why, lately, you've been seeing one-shots popping up randomly. I mean, I just write about whatever pops into my noggin'. (Ha-ha, did anyone like Chapter fifteen?)

I really enjoy the support I've been getting from readers, which makes me think, _kya! I am loved._ But, since I am quite lazy today, and I'm not in the ranting mood (I'm in a more Simmy mood) I'll just, you know, write a letter to a member(s) in Fairy Tail. I guess I have to start writing more letters and one-shots now tomeet the Fanfiction credentials. (Since this belongs on a forum somewhere out there in the mighty Internet universe)

**Dear Laxus, **

To be frank, in the beginning, I thought you were a dick head. But, like so many people In Fairy Tail, you changed. (No one ever stays evil on this show, do they? And if they are, they suddenly see the light of day).

That fantasia fiasco pissed me off.

But, after you came back, and you helped Natsu beat Hades, I love you! I forgave you for being a pompous dick. And geez, I kinda want you to be Master (Macao was a weakling!)

You're so awesome. You probably got all the bitches going after you, huh? (I wouldn't be surprised.)

You're just so_ boss. _

There isn't much to say after that.

Well, you're one badass, and you are kinda hot, and your scar reminds me of Harry Potter, but other than that, good bye!  
-Thinwrist!

**Dear Mirajane, **

I never expected you to have such a badass power like Satan's Soul. Who would've thought that you could be so awesome! You're like, the BEST. I kinda want to see you and Erza fight it out, fist to fist, to see who'd win.

You're so pretty. Absolutely.

Yay for Satan's Soul!  
-Thinwrist

**Dear Droy, **

I'm going to keep this short and simple.

You're going to die of coronary artery disease.

So, keep munching on those steaks.

And then, the worms will be munching on you.

-Thinwrist.

P.S. You kinda suck

**Dear Jet, **

You suck too.

-Thinwrist

**Dear Ichiya, **

I don't understand why you think you're hot. You look like hot shit that someone stepped on while wearing cleats.

You suck the worst by the way.

Men!

-Thinwrist

**Dear Ren and Sherry, **

Um…who cares about your relationship? (well, some people might. But not me!)

-Thinwrist!

**Dear Lisanna, **

Make sure to stay away from Natsu

-Thinwrist

**Dear Jura,**

Dude, you're like, the baldest bastard I ever met.

I guess you're ok

-Thinwrist

**Dear Panther Lily,**

The kiwi eating boss! Yay!  
-Thinwrist

**Dear Carla,**

Are you like, a mom or something? You could remove that stick from your ass you know.

-Thinwrist

**Dear Wendy,**

You're just so cute! I have much more to say to you, mostly about your constant crying and your politeness that drives me wild, but not now. Mostly, I just want to tell you to stay away from Warren.

-Thinwrist

**Dear Warren,**

Stay. The. Fuck. Away. From. Wendy.

-Thinwrist

**Dear Bisca,**

Can you explain to me how after having a child, you're still running around in bras and panties. And how the hell is your body still…so…perky?

-Thinwrist

**Dear Jellal, **

Get laid. Now.

-Thinwrist

**Dear Erza,**

Jellal's lookin to get laid!  
-Thinwrist

**Dear Eve,**

Um…I have nothing to say to you.

-Thinwrist

**Dear Sting**

You're hot. You're bad. And mhmm…you're a nice piece of man aren't you? Keep it up

-Thinwrist

**Dear Rogue,**

You should talk more.

-THINWRIST

**Dear Frosch,**

Thinwrist think's Frosch is a retard!

-Thinwrist.

Well, that's it for me!  
Suggestions? Review?

FANGIRL ON!

Bye, bye

Thinwrist

* * *

Authors Note: I'm tired! Don't expect me to update anytime soon!


	17. Chapter 17

**Theme Songs...And Other Things**

You read so right. Yup, today, I feel like talking Theme Songs!

Since I'm sitting here jamming out to some pretty awesome music, I'm thinking _'Damn, that burrito I had yesterday is coming back to haunt me...oh, and I love this song for Natsu and Lucy!' _

You're just not a true shipper of a couple until you troll the internet for the whole day on all things Nalu. You can't call yourself a senior lover of Nalu (or Gruvia or Jerza or whatever the hell you like) until you successfully messed up your eyes by watching like a million Youtube AMV videos or MEP videos or whatever the hell type of video dedicated to Nalu. And go on Tumblr just to look at others pages. And Deviantart to download some fantastic pictures of Nalu. And just about everything else to related to Nalu. Warning; If you lack:

-A successful amount of Nalu (or whatever you ship) pictures on your phone, ipod, ipad, or satellite device that is not from the 1980's and above,

-Have never read at least one fanfiction about them.

-Do not avidly daydream about cute moments between them

-Do not go on Tumblr, Facebook, or any other page dedicated to them

-Have never even _seen _a dirty Fanfiction before

-Music that you think relates to Nalu or whatever you ship.

-Have never wasted an entire day going on a Fangirl high. Like, just did EVERYTHING Fairy Tail. And when you crawl into bed, half blind from technology overdose, you sigh _'I regret nothing'_

If you lack any of those credentails, or have done nothing that others would call you a loser for, then you my friend, have not achieved T.F.G.S.S (No, it doesn't stand for That Fat Girl Sucks Socks. It stands for True Fan Girl Shipper State)

Even if you haven't done anything on the list above (I left out a lot of other weird shit), if you haven't done anything at all (oh, like, talk to yourself about why Nalu is the best and muttering weird random stuff that involves Nalu) you seriously need to concentrate of T.F.G.S.S

Now, what was I talking about?

Oh yeah! Theme Songs!

I can only think of one, for Nalu.

I think the theme song for their couple should totally be Love Like Woe by the Ready Set. Trust me, I love their lyrics for those two. Wanna get a tidbit? Oh hell, I'll just put the lyrics on here!

_I'm thinking, baby, you and I are undenaible _

_But I'm finding out loves unreliable _

_I'm giving all I got just to make you stay_

_Or am I just a roadblock in your way?_

_Cause you're a pretty little windstorm out on the boulevard _

_Something like a Sunset, oh you're a shooting star_

_And I might drive myself insane_

_If those lips aren't speaking my name_

_Cause I got some intuition _

_Or maybe I'm superstitious _

_But I'm thinking you're a pretty sweet pill_

_that I'm swallowing down_

_To counter this addiction_

_you've got me on a mission_

_Tell me darling, can I get a break somehow?_

_Could I say no?_

_(chorus)_

_She's got a love like woe! _

_(whoaa oh oh oh)_

_Girls got a love like woe_

_(whoaa oh oh oh)_

_Because your bringing me in_

_and now you're kicking me out again_

_Loved so strong, then you moved on_

_Now I'm hung up in suspense _

_Because you're bringing me in _

_and you're kicking me out again_

_It's like a hurricane, speed train, she's a moving car_

_Catch her in the fast lane, oh I gotta know, can I keep up with her pace_

_Kick it into gear when I see that face_

_You can take up all time cause you're the only one_

_That can make a storm cloud break_

_Pulling up the sundayAnd I can't get caught in the rain_

_Can I get your lips to speak my name?_

…_.._

Those are the tidbits I could catch while listening. Yeah, yeah, before you say 'oh, just get it online,' no, I'm feeling lazy. So lazy in fact, that I'd rather just finish off here, and then go finish off listening to music

Don't you think that song kinda suits Nalu? Its so cute. You should listen to it! Love Like Woe by the Ready Set!

I would say the Theme Song for Jellal and Erza is Just A Dream by Nelly, but, nah, I think there has to be another song out there that suits them. I can't think of one for Gajeel and Levy, and I can't think of one for Gray...and...Juvia.(Yeah, like I'd actually do that!)

But I CAN think of one for Elfman.

That song from Mulan, you know, the one talking about 'We are men!'. I think its called make a Man outta you

Lyrics!

_Let's get down to bussiness to defeat the huns_

_did they send me daughters, when I asked for sons?_

_Your the saddest bunch I've ever met but you can bet_

_before were through_

_mister I'll make a man outta you_

_tranquil as a forest _

_but a fire within_

_once you find your center, you are sure to win_

_your a spineless, pale, pathetic lot and you haven't got a clue_

_somehow i'll make a man outta you_

_(we are men)_

_You must be swift as the coursing river _

_(we are men)_

_with all the force of a great typhoon_

_(We are men!)_

_With all the strength of a raging fire_

_Mysterious as the dark side of the moon!_

That's all I can remember from the song. But, this seems to suit Elfmen. Who by the way, I am proud of. He is a MAN, for defeating the worthless hot sexy bag of shit named Bacchus. Only real MEN defend their sisters like a badass. MAN! (I'm speaking about Episode 162 by the way. I read the chapter In which he beat Bacchus, but theres nothing like seeing the manga animated to get your blood pumping)

I was so proud of him. You see, this is why Fairy Tail is so badass. Elfmen handled that bitch like a MAN, and he defended Mira jane (and lisanna) like a MAN!

Now, speaking of Elfmen, we have to naturally bring Evergreen into this. I'm a little worried here, because I noticed a trend about most of the couples in Fairy Tail (_the ones that we care about)_

Well, most of the majour couples (The Fantastic Four! Sue me, Marvel. Just so you know, I'm worthless. So all you'll get is a bag of skin and bones that is ME!) started off as enemies. No one else see that?

Gajeel and Levy-originally enemies

Erza and Jellal-orignally friends turned enemies turned back to friends turned to lovers, but still, at one point, were enemies

Elfmen and Evergreen-originally enemies

Gray and Juvia-originally enemies!

Kya! This is terrifying! What if Mashima is doing this, making all the enemies fall in love. And then, leave the BEST couple out! Because they started off as friends. What a bitch! Or is he planning to make their relationship sweeter just by keeping them friends. hm...(sorry, I was thinking while typing. I'm talking about Nalu here). Mashima's a puzzle! But I firmly believe Nalu will happen.

And while on the topic of trends, I kinda see what Mashima is doing, and like the great Mavis, I'm predicting how the couples will go about!

First Erza and Jellal. We can see it!

Second, It's Elfmen and Evergreen. If those two don't have a thing for each other, I am mentally retarded.

Third, Gajeel and Levy...yes yes yes!

Fourth, (I hope it doesn't really happen. And if it does, I'll be devastated, but, i'll graciously, like the saint I am, take it in stride) Gray and Juvia-originally

and, because they always save the best for last, NATSU AND LUCY!

Because _they got a love like woe! _

Bwahahahahaha! I understand I was completely random with this post, but, i'm a little high here from doing weird shit (it does not involve narcatics.)

Well, if you enjoyed this as much as I did, review! Suggestions? Critiscm? (Oh!)

Hmm...I'm thinking of starting a little sub-story with a co-partner who wants to post one-shots with me. Its just for fun, but, just informing ya.

So, that was this post, and this is me saying peace!  
-Thinwrist!

P.S. I'm getting a lot of reviews here about the Natsu Just For Lucy army. If you wanna join, you're so open to. All you have to have is:

-A bloodthirsty desire to get Natsu and Lucy together

-To keep any random bitch from getting their hands on Natsu

-To keep close watch over Lisanna.

That's it! Be ready!

To arms my fellow commandeers of Nalu! We will ruthlessly fight until the day those two get together!

FAIRY TAIL UNTIL EXISTENCE CEASES TO EXIST!


	18. Chapter 18

"You're awfully weird, Lucy"

She straightened, stretching her arm out in front of her.

"What do you mean, Natsu?" she replied, stretching her arm over her head.

He lounged lazily on her bed, his eyes half-slitted from sleep. Besides him, Happy lay asleep, his little blue limbs spread akimbo. Lucy crouched on the floor, and pulled her boots to her. With careful movements, because her skirt was extra short that placid morning in Magnolia, she stuck her left leg in her boots.

Natsu lay flat on his back, his arms resting behind his head

"Well, I've just been thinking, ya know, you just are. You do things that are so _weird."_

She bristled a little, shoving her other foot in the other boot. Standing, she tossed her hair over her shoulder and turned from him

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I've never met a girl like you."

"I'm amazed you know that I'm a girl"

"Of course I know you're a girl, silly. And thats what makes you the strangest. You aren't like the others girls I know, Lucy. And thats why your wierd"

She crossed her arms over her chest (more like under her chest), and turned back to Natsu. He still lay on his back, comfortaably, and now his eyes were fully closed

"You're not like most girls, Lucy. The stuff you do is weird. I don't know if its because of where you come from, but the way you act is just so silly. You're awfully smart though, which is pretty weird too. And the way you love to read, is weird. I never met anyone who had written or was writing a novel either. Which makes you even wierder."

Lucy humphed.

"Yeah, well look who's talking. I think what you're trying to say, Natsu, is that you've never met a _normal_ girl. All the girls you know are.." she trailed off, a picture of Erza flashing in her mind

he yawned "I never said you being weird is bad. I actually like the way you are; the things you do, even if they are weird, are fun. Hanging out with you is fun. Sleeping in your bed is fun. You're fun, Lucy. If you weren't weird, Lucy, I don't think you'd be Lucy."

she stopped, her face softening. Natsu's eyes were still closed, and he looked like he was about to fall asleep at any second. Her breath grew quite; turning slowly, she walked towards the door

"Oh, and Lucy,"

"Yeah, Natsu" she wasn't surprised that he was already getting to his feet

"You're not normal. You couldn't be a member of Fairy Tail if you were. I like you, Lucy. I like you just the way you are. Even if you are weird."

she didn't turn around as she opened the door. With a soft, "I like you too", she hurried outside, afraid that he'd catch the blush on her cheeks.

* * *

Authors Note: I just decided to throw in some Natsu logic just for the hell of it.


	19. Chapter 19 (Specail)

**Dear Readers,**

**Hi, It's me, Tsubaki again. Yesterday night, at approximately 3 am, I caught Thinwrist on her laptop, typing something. This morning, she got dragged on a special outing with her friends. After long hours of texting and convincing, she got me to upload this for you guys. **

**Thinwrists Explanation: She says that this is a special chapter dedicated to Fairy Tail, and A Christmas Carol. Apparently, a guy named Jellal is playing Ebenezer Scrooge. She's probably butcered a timeless classic. She also wants to say she apologizes for not being here to update for herself. **

**So, this has been Tsubaki! I hope you like this remake of A Christmas Carol.**

* * *

**Stave One**

_**Siegran's Ghost **_

Siegran was dead, to start off with. There was no doubt about that. The register of his burial was signed by the clergymen, the clerk, the undertaker, and the chief mourner, Jellal himself. Siegran was as dead as something that touched Zeref.

Mind! I don't know, particulary, who this Zeref fellow is. Just a random thought that suited the grim air of Siegran's demise. The beauty of the simile lies within my ancestors hands, for they were the one's who came up with such a saying, and I shall not be the one to usurp it. So, let me repeat, Siegran was a dead as something that touched Zeref.

Jellal knew he was dead. Of course he did. How else would it be? Jellal and Siegran had been partners for I don't how long. Jellal was his sole executor, his sole administrator, his sole assign, his sole residuary legatee...you get my drift. But above all else, Jellal had been Siegran's sole friend. And his sole mourner. And even Jellal was no so dreadfully melancholy by the sad event of his friends passing. He only acknowledged that he was an excellent man of bussiness on the very day of Siegran's funeral.

Oh yes, the mention of Siegran's funeral bring me back to the point from which I started on. There was no doubt that Siegran was dead. This must be understood, or nothing wonderful can come from this story that I am going to remake. If we were not perfectly convinced that Zeref was dead at the beginning of the anime Fairy Tail, then there would be nothing remarkable in having our jaws drop on the floor to see him alive again and making trouble for Fairy Tail. Oh, dear, it seems I've sprouted useless nonsense again. Very well, back to the tale.

Jellal had never painted out Old Siegran's name. There it stood, years after the untimely demise of Siegran, above the warehouse door, Jellal and Siegran: Badass Incorprated. The firm was known as Jellal and Siegran however, because most gentleman and ladies chose to overlook the 'Badass Incorprated' bit. Sometimes people called it Jellal Jellal, or simply, Jellal, but Jellal answered to both. It was all the same to him.

Oh! But he was a tight-fisted hand at the grind stone, Jellal! A squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous old sinner! Hard and sharp as flint, from which no gentle maiden hand had ever struck out a generous sfire (or a boner); secret, and self-contained, and solitary as an oyster. The cold within him frosted over his eyes and features, and hardenend his skin, making him look like a creature from that movie called 'The Thing'. Mothers, who tired of bratty children, would sometimes whisper to their child 'If you don't behave, Jellal will come and touch you' and quick as can be, the child would hush up, firmly placing their hands on their buttocks, afraid to lose their virtue. Jellal was so cold in fact, that forever frosted on his face was a blood, that as a younger gentleman, he'd received from falling off his bike. He'd been so cold and steely that the blood had formed a tatoo like sign on his face, and stayed there.

External heat and cold, and sexy ladies had little influence on Jellal. No warmth could warm, no wintry weather could chill him, no soft breast could get a reaction from him! No wind that blew was bitterer than he, no falling snow was more intent upon its purpose, no woman was more hellbent on saddling up and riding the Jellal train. Foul weather and sexy ladies didn't know where to have him. The heaviest rains, and snow, and the sluttiest of women, could boast only one advantage over him in only one respect. When they "came down", they could be sure to come off "handsomenly" and Jellal never did. At some point in his life, he'd been a sexy piece of man, and even in his old age, he still boasted good feautures. Simply, hidden behind his frozen facade.

No one ever stopped in the middle of the street to say, with a smile on their face, "Yo, Jellal, what's going on? I got some nice rock we can go smoke back at the place!". No beggars tried to shank him in the street, no children tried to ask him for candy, no man or woman ever once in all his life inquired if he was still a virgin, even if they all wondered. Because, they all knew, if Jellal got some ass, he'd be a lot happier.

But what did Jellal care! It was the very thing he liked. To edge his way along the crowded paths of life, warning all human sympathy to back the fuck away, was what the knowing one's called "that crazy old bastard" to Jellal.

Once upon a time-of all the good days in the year, on Christmas Eve-old Jellal sat busy in his office, counting the amount of money his hoes had brought him from the pimping bussiness that he ran. It was cold, bleak, biting weather: foggy and gloomy: and he could hear the people in the streets outside, go wheezing up and down, men slapping the rear ends of very pretty girls, crack dealers detangling themselves from the darkness to bring others to the dark side, "_We have cookies"_ they promised, while their wayward customers followed. The city clocks had only just rung three, but it was dark already-it had not been light all day, which Jellal wondered, if it was Hades fault, because Hades was naturally a prick-and nieghbouring houses flared with candle light. The fog came pouring in at every chink and keyhole, and was so dense without, that was although the court was of the narrowest, the houses opposite were mere phantoms.

The door to Jellal's office was open, so that he might keep his eye on his clerk, who in a distant little cell beyond, a sort of tank, was looking through the hoes medical records to make sure none of them had any STD'S. Jellal had an enourmous fire burning in his office, but the clerk's, who happened to have an odd mop of pink hair (which Jellal dissaproved of. He didn't like hair color, since he lost his rich blue hair color to white years ago) fire was much more smaller. But he couldn't replenish it, because he had eaten most of his fire, the idiot. And Jellal would not allow him to get any more coals: the stupid Dragon Slayer would just have to stay the way he was.

"A merry Christmas, you old bastard!" said Jellal's nephew, Gray Fullbuster, who came out of no where.

"Go. The. Fuck. Away." said Jellal, not bothering to look up at the young man who stood besides him

He had gotten so much tongue from his wife, Juvia, before he had come to his Uncle's pimp house, this nephew, that he was all in a glow. His face was ruddy and handsome, sculpted from the finest of ice. And for some apparent reason, this nephew, had no shirt on, which revealed his well-toned abs that Jellal was very much jealous of. He had lost his sexy physique years ago, with the March of Time. And, it could help, that this nephew was an Ice Wielder, so winter was the best time of year for him.

"I wondered who pissed in your oatmeal this morning, uncle" said Jellal's nephew, Gray "You aren't happy that it's christmas?"

"Fuck away, nephew. There is nothing merry about Christmas. What right have you to be merry? What reason have you to be merry, you're poor enough! Even I, with all the hoes and all the money, do not like Christmas" spat Jellal

"Come on," said the nephew gaily "You, uncle, own the biggest pimp house in all of Magnolia. What right have you to be miserable? What right have you to be morose? You're rich enough!" and with a slick sniff, Gray added "plus, I got plenty to be happy about. It looks like Juvia wants to have that three-"

he was cut off with a sharp "bah!" from Jellal followed by a quick "humbug".

"Don't be a prick, uncle" said Gray, who took the liberty of lounging in one of Jellal's expensive chairs, with his feet crossed

Jellal gave his nephew a look and said, his vioce quivering with his old age and his anger " What else can I be?" he hissed "When I live in a world of such fools like this! Merry Christmas, this! Merry Christmas, that! Out upon merry Christmas! That was why I tried to annihilate all you annoying bastards with the Tower of Heaven! What's christmas but a time when all my hoes want a break to go take care of their babies? A time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer; a time for balancing your books and having every item in 'em through a round a dozen of months presented dead against you? If I could work my will," said Jellal, taking a deep breathe "every idiot who goes around saying 'Merry Christmas' on his lips, should be zapped to death by the great Sky God Laxus!"

"Shut up, you groutchy old bitch" Gray drawled lazily

"Nephew!" returned the uncle sternly "Keep Christmas in your own way and let me keep it in mine"

"Keep it!" repeated Jellal's nephew "But you don't keep it at all"

"Leave me alone, then" said Jellal "Much good may it do you! Much good it has ever done you!"

"There are lots of things that I've gotten good from, uncle. It's not because Christmas is when Juvia gets drunk on eggnog and she's ten times more likely to do certain things for me, or because I'm allowed to beat all the drunks into bloody sacks. While all that is fun, thats not what Christmas is about, Uncle. Christmas is a holy time where man and woman and child can come together and celebrate such a holy holiday that our great god Laxus has given us. Its when we can sit around and think about all the shit we've done and laugh about it. It's when we give love, and receive love, and neglect love to others who we don't like. I believe that it has done good to me, and will do me good. And I say, let the mighty god Laxus bless it!"

The pink haired clerk in the tank involunatarily applauded. Becoing immiedatiately sensible of the improprierty, he scooped up the last remaining piece of fire, and ate it.

"If I hear another sound from you" snapped Jellal to his clerk "I'll sick my hoes on you." turning to his nephew, Gray, he said "You're quite a powerful speaker, boy. You should become a public speaker, that way, you can actually tell that little speech to people who care"

"Aw, suck a dick." Gray said standing. He turned, ready to leave, but instead, he about faced, and returned to his uncle "Uncle, why don't you dine with us to-morrow"

Jellal said that he would see him-yes, indeed he did. He went the whole length of the expression, and said that he would see him that extremity first

"But why" asked his nephew "Why?"

"Why did you get married?" Jellal asked

"Because, she wouldn't stop stalking me. And, I needed a good woman to stay at home and cook and clean."

"Because you fell in love!" scoffed Jellal. His nephew looked perplexed, because he hadn't said anything about love. "Good afternoon!" Jellal huffed.

"nay, uncle, but you never came to see me before I married Juvia. Why give Iit as a reason for not coming now, you bastard?"

"Fuck off!" Jellal said, shooing his nephew away

"I want nothing from you, old bat. I ask nothing of you. Yet you still want to act like someone's shoved a stick up your ass. Why cannot we be friends?"

"If I have to tell you to go away one more time" Jellal said, a dangerous vien dancing in his shriveled temple "I am going to get my biggest, fattest, manliest bitch on you."

Gray held up his hands in defeat "Whatever, old man" he said, turning away again. He left without one angry word to his uncle, only stopping at the outer door to bestow a good punch on the cleark, who as cold as he was, stood, and snarled

"Ice Prick, what'd you do that for?"

The nephew slammed his head against the clerk's "You gotta a problem, flame-brain?"

"Hell yeah, I gotta a problem. I'm stuck here with that dusty old bitch, looking through damn medical records for hoes! You wanna mess with me?"

"Oh, you want some of this, flame brain?"

"Bring it on, you fucking stripper!"

and just as the two gentleman were about to enter a very manly squirmish, a woman with blue hair entered the door

"Gray-sama, what is taking so long? Juvia would like to go home now"

the nephew turned from the clerk and knodded a good bye to his uncle. On his way out, he gave his farewells to his uncle and clerk

"Go fuck yourself! And a merry christmas, uncle!"

"There's another fellow" muttured Jellal, who had overheard the squirmish "My clerk, who earns fifteen rubies a week, with a wife and a family, talking about a merry christmas. I'll retire to bedlam"

the idiot clerk, in letting Jellal's nephew out, had let two other people in. they were odd men, one who was as wide as his companion was tall. They were, although eccentric, pleasant to behold, and now stood, with their hats off, in Jellal's office. The fat one pulled out a steak, and took a bite, before saying, through chomps

"Jellal and Siegran: Badass Incorporated, I suppose" said the man "Have I the pleasure of addressing Mister. Jellal or Mister. Siegrain?"

"Siegrain has been dead these seven years" replied a sour Jellal "He died seven years ago, this very night"

"Well" said the thin gentleman, with odd orange hair, "We have no doubt his liberality is well represented by his surviving partner. I am Jet, and this is my partner, Droy"

at the ominous word 'partner' Jellal frowned. Looking between both men, and squinting hard, he frowned. They could not be homosexuals; because, the orange haired gentleman could do so much better. Then, he stiffened at the other word 'liberality' and shook his head.

"At this festive season of the year, Mister Jellal" said the gentleman "it is more than usually desirable that we should make some slight provisioin to the Poor and to..ehem...our own pockets. Especailly since we represent the Levy foundation. The poor suffer greatly at this present time. Many thousands are in want of common neccessaries; hundreds of thousands are in want of common comforts, sir"

"Do I look like I give a fuck?" Jellal asked "are there no prisons?"

The fat man, Droy, took a bite of his steak and replied "plenty of prisons"

"Then throw all those bastards in there, and they'll have plenty to eat and drink, and sleep on while they work"

"But they hardly furnish those places. We are trying to raise a fund to buy the poor some meat and drink and bring warmth"

"Well, if the poor want to pay, my hoes can bring them plenty of warmth"

at this, both gentleman paled. Then, pretending like they had not heard his appalling statement, Jet leaned foreward, produced a leaf of paper and a quil and asked

"What shall I put down for?"

"Nothing!" Jellal replied

"You wish to be anonymous?" Jet asked

"I want you to go away and leave me alone." said Jella "Since you ask me what I want, gentleman, that is my answer. I would gladly support the prisons and working houses! Why, I even built one, the Tower Of Heaven!"

"Many can't go there" said Jet

"and Many would rather die" said Droy

"If they would rather die," sneered Jellal "they had better do it. And decrease the surplus population. Now go the fuck away, I've got better things to do than stay here. Good afternoon, gentleman!"

seeing that the old man wasn't going to fork over some cash, the gentleman withdrew. Jellal resumed his labours with a satisfied feeling in his withered heart.

Meanwhile, the fog and darkness thickened so, that people ran about using magic. The ancient tower of the church, whose gruff old bell was always slily down at Jellal, became invisible.

After the hours had passed, and the length finally came to shut up the pimping house, Jellal got up from his chair. Walking to his young clerk, he grudgling said

"Boy"

the young clerk looked up. With a frown, Jellal saw that the idiot had stopped working half way through and had begun drawing rather lewd drawings of a woman. The clerk stood, and put on his cap, concealing the mop of pink hair

"yessir'" replied the clerk

"You'll want all day off to-morrow I suppose, Natsu?" said Jellal

"Yeah" replied the clerk, Natsu "That'd be great, gramps"

"Well, its not convenient" said Jellal "and its not fair. If the hoes don't get a full day off tommorow, then you don't either. Get your ass in here at noon to-morrow, understand, and I'll only dock half a day's pay"

Natsu smiled slightly

"and be here earlier the day after tommorow. Now, go away, I have to close up"

Natsu smiled and promised that he would. And Jellal left with a growl.

The office was closed, and the hoes all sent home, and the clerk, with the long ends of his coat dangling low (because he had no nice coats) ran down the streets, whooping and hollering like an idiot, all the way home.

Jellal bought his dinner, and ate it in his own little melancholy way. Then, after glaring at some babies and small children, he went home to bed. He lived in a towering mansion that he had once shared with Siegrain. The mansion was so old now, and dreary, but it was enough for Jellal, for no body lived in it but Jellal. The fog was now so dark, that Jellal, who knew the back of his mansion like his own hand, had to grope blindly in the darkness. Finally, he reached his own door.

Now, this is a fact, that there was nothing specail about the knocker on his door. Except that it was very large. It was also a fact that Jellal had seen the knocker, night and day, during his time living in that mansion. Let it also be known that Jellal hadn't given Siegrain a second thought since he told those gentleman about his demise seven years prior. And now, let any one explain to me how, as Jellal forked around in his pocket, looking for his keys, he saw a face. Not just any face, however. Siegrains face.

Siegrain's face. It was not a shallow shadow as other objects in his yard. It was solid and real, and although it did not look angry or sad, it wore the same expression that Siegrain always used to look at Jellal with. Cold and calculating, with a devilishy sexy smile. Now, I suppose, I should say it now, or forever hold my peace, but, Siegrain and Jellal had well...been dopplegangers. Nearly. They had looked so alike, yet had no blood relation. This was why, in his life, Jellal had almost given two shits about Siegrain. He enjoyed looking at his own face, even if that face wasn't his exactly. What can you say? Jellal was a selfish prick.

The hair, the blank eyes, just the face disturbed Jellal. He blinked brusquely, and saw that the head was gone. With a pause, and a hammering heart, he slid the key into the lock, and opened the door. Walking into his empty abode, he shut the door behind him. For a moments time, he allowed himself to worry about what he saw, then, he shook the thought away

"My mind" he muttured to himself "My mind is just playing tricks on me. I wouldn't give a fuck about whether it was Siegrain's face or not. I saw nothing! Nothing! Now, away with such pesky thoughts, lest it peeves me again! I have better shit to do!"

His words echoed throughout the empty house with finality. Shrugging off his wories like a snake would its skin. Yet, while he bathed and washed himself, the worry crept back, which annoyed him more. Once he was clean and dressed, he mumbled to himself "if I check the rooms and the entire house, there will be nothing there! Enough of this!"

he checked every room, every table, every little nook and cranny where creepie crawlies could lay hiding.

"enough of this humbug!" Jellal spat afterwards. He steeled himself, for he was a man, and had left his childish follies years ago. He was not going senile, and he was certainly not going to believe that there was the ghost of his dead partner. Siegrain was in the ground, being eaten by worms, and that was where the bastard would rot until his bones had become one with the earth. Shaking his worries again, he went to his rooms, bolted the door, double-bolted the door, and went to his bed.

Laying in his bed, he listened to the silent empty house. There was nothing there. There was nothing fucking there, he told himself repeatedly. His house was empty, except for himself. There was nothing there.

Then, when the midnight hour clock first strung, he shot up from his bed. Now, the clock that had rung had been out of service for years. Seven years, to be exact, because Jellal recalled coming home after Siegrain's funeral and finding the piece of shit broken. Like it had died with Siegrain, which was a bunch of gabage, because seriously? Why the fuck would a clock die along with its owner? Bull shit.

Yet, the clock still strung. It strung once. Twice. Three times. By the fifth strike, Jellal was on his feet, his old heart hammering away in his chest. He had forgotten his composure and now openly sweated. He did not like the air in the room. The sixth strung. The seventh strung. The eighth strung. Jellal licked his lips. The air in his room grew cold, and he didn't understand why. Could it be true? What was he scared of? He was Jellal. The owner of Jellal and Siegran: Badass Incorportaed!

The ninth toll.

The tenth toll.

The eleventh toll.

The twelfth toll hit with a sudden echo. All sound escaped Jellal except for the sudden banging of the doors opening and slamming shut. To his astonishement, he could no longer move. Wind, silent and lethal, howled silently in his chambers, ripping his ordanairy world into chaos. His fear overtook his astonishment and he stumbled backwards a few. Collapsing on his year, something poked him the ass

"Oh, bloody fuck!" he howled, jumping up, and away. Turning around, to his horror, he saw something astonishing happening.

The floor beneath him glowed with a blue aura. The whole room shook, and at last, the sound returned to Jellal, and from his throat, he bellowed a might cry to his almighty God, Laxus.

"Who is there?!" he howled "Laxus, mighty god! Protect me!"

and from the floor, rose a figure. With eyes wide, suddenly, Jellal cried

"Siegrain! Its is you, Siegrain!"

the same face: the very same. Siegrain in his pigtail, usual waistcoat, tighs and boots; and around his emaciated figure were chains, wrapping around him. The ghostly apparation opened its closed eyes and met Jellal's own gaze

"Siegrain!" Jellal cried

"No, shit" Siegrain replied "Who else would it be you dumb old bastard?"

the chain he drew was clasped around his middle. It was long and wound about him like a tail. And it was made, for Jellal studied it closely, of cash-boxes, keys, padlocks, ledgers, deeds, and heavy purses wrought in steel. Jellal had often heard that Siegrain had had no balls, and now seeing his transparent figure, he believed it. No wonder he never got laid.

"What do you want with me? Go back to being dead!"

"Much!" Siegrain howled

"Who are you?" Jellal asked

Siegrain raised his transparent eyes "Really? Come on, I know you're old, but you're not that old. Ask me who I was"

"Who were you?" Jellal asked

puffing himself out, Siegrain said in a dramatic tone "In life, I was your partner, Siegrain"

Jellal wrinkled his nose "come now, please don't use the word, partner. I was never romantically involved with you"

Siegrain gave him a scathing stare "hold your tongue, Jellal. Come now, let us discuss why I am here"

Jellal, still astonished, waved the deceased onwards

"You don't believe that I am here" Siegrain said

"of course not!" Jellal said "I need to stop buying those chocolates from that fellow down the block!"

"What evidence would you have of my reality beyond that of your senses, Jellal?" Siegrain inquired

"I don't know" replied Jellal

"Why doubt your senses?"

"Because," Jellal said "a little thing affects them. A slight disorder of the stomach makes them cheat. You can be an undigested pipeces of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, or something I caught from my hoes!"

At this siegrain chuckled "No, no, you silly old fool. I am as real as the cancer swarming in your viens. By the way, how are the hoes doing? Have you been beating them well?"

"Very muc. Bussiness is doing excellent-wait, _what?"_

but Siegrain ignored his gasp. Jellal stood, walking towards a wayward toothpick on the floor "You see this toothpick?" he said, bending to pick it up and then straightening

"I do" said Siegrain

"Well, all I have to do is swallow it and be tormented by goblins for the rest of my days! You see, you, are not real!"

at this, Siegrain gave a frightened cry and shook its chains with such an appalling noise that Jellal had to hold onto himself to keep from soiling his undergarments. Falling on his knees, he clasped his hands to his face, and cried

"Mercy, you ugly son of a bitch! Mercy! Why do you bug me?"

"Man of the wordly mind, do you believe in me or not?" asked Siegrain

"I do!" replied a cowering Jellal "I must. But why the hell are you spirits bugging me?"

"It is required of every man," Siegrain said "that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellowmen, and travel far wide. And if that spirit does not do so in life, it is condemned to do so in death!"

"So...basically, you're being punished for being a bitch?"

"pretty much so, old friend"

"That sucks"

"I know, Jellal. I know"

"You are fettered. Tell me why?"

"I wear the chain I forged in life." replied the ghost "I made it link by link, and yard by yard, I girded it on my own free will. And of my own free will I wore it. I can see your chain, Jellal! The chain you have forged for yourself! For being a selfish jack ass, you will wear the chains that you have made in your own life! Seven years ago, your chain was equal to mines! And now, I see it has grown. It is a pondeous chain!"

"Siegrain!" wailed Jellal "Oh, Siegrain! Tell me more! Speak comfort to me!"

"You are not worth comfort. I have none to give to you, Jellal Fernandez. I cannot stay long; for, my spirit cannot rest, cannot stay, cannot linge anywhere. I must continue to walk, for in life, I never went past my pimping house!"

"You mean _our _pimping house" corrected Jellal

"fuck off" said Siegain "you interrupted me."

"Whatever"

"Ohhhh!" wailed Siegrain "I have never had a moments rest in these seven years! Never once! I travel on the winds of time, a mere shade among mankind, forever moving never resting. Eternal torture and remorse!"

"so what?"

"so what, you dumb fuck. At this time of the yea I suffer most. Why did I walk down the streets, with my head down, and shoulders shrugged? Why could I not have given thanks to our great god, Laxus!"

Jellal was beginning to get bored-he didn't care. It was Siegain's fault for being condemned to eternal torture. Why did he come bitch to him?

"Hear me!" cried the ghost of Siegrain "My time is nearly gone!" with his tremoulous words, Jellal began to shake tremoulously. He was very much dismayed to hear his friends words

"I'll listen. But don't be hard upon me!"

"I cannot be kind to you. I am here tonight to warn you that you have yet a chance and an escape to my fate. I'd rathe you come suffer with me, but, apparently, it doesn't work that way. A chance and hope, Jellal. "

"You were always a good friend to me! Thank you!"

"You will be haunted, by Three Spirits!" resumed Siegrain

"Is that the chance and hope, you mentioned, Siegrain?"

"It is"

"You're a bitch"

"You take what you can get Jellal!"

"Couldn't I take them all at once and be done with it, Siegrain?"

"No" snapped Siegrain "because then that would defeat the pupose of the story. Expect the first tommorow, when the bell tolls one."

"fuck." sighed Jellal

"Expect the second on the next day at the same hour. And expect the the thurd upon the next night when the last stroke of Twelve has ceased to vibrate. You got that, bitch?"

"Yes!"

"Look to see me no more, Jellal" said Siegrain "and for your own sake, remember what has transpired between us!" and with that, and a quick middle finger, Siegrai was gone. Terrified, fo he hoped it had all been a dream, Jellal looked out his window. And saw, throughout the world, clogging the streets like gay shades, the phantoms of thousands of others, like Siegrain, who were chained, drifting throughout the world in their own misery, chained to existence forever. Sliding away from the window, Jellal said 'shit', and slapped his face. He then slinked into his own bed, terror sinking vicious claws into his being. He hoped what he had seen had been all but a dream, and closed his eyes shut. In an instant, he was asleep.


	20. Chapter 20

**Stave Two**

_**The first of the Three Spirits **_

When Jellal awoke, it was to the heavy sound of his chamber door being banged upon. Arising in a rather sour mood, he stalked towards the door, and threw it open with a scowl upon his visage

before him stood a man, dressed in a tunic that reached his legs. His face was gruff and cracked, most likely from the sun that he had walked through. His skinwas sun burned, and besides him was a woman, who also had a shabby looking tunic wrapped around her, and a shawl upon her head.

"Sir" pleaded the man "My wife. She is about to give birth to our child! Please, please, tell me you have any rooms for us"

"Rooms?" scoffed Jellal "This isn't an inn!"

The woman, who was doubled over now, held her belly, and gasped out "Sir, I am with a child from the lord! Please!"

"This isn't the nativity story, cretins!" Jellal spat

both the man and woman straightened "It isn't?" the man inquired

"Hell no! This is A Christmas Carol!"

"_Dammit_, Mary, I told you we should've taken a right at that forked road! Look where we are! We were supposed to be in Bethleham for the next chapter."

The woman, who had suprinsingly given up on labour, poked the man sharply "I couldn't help it! I got confused. Don't bitch at me, Joseph!"

"Well, we could've been on track. But now look where we are. We're in the Chrismas Carol!"

"Well, ask the man how we can get back to our story!" Mary hissed, slapping her partner on the side of head. Joseph turned to Jellal, cleared his throat and asked

"Excuse us sir, how do we get out of this story?"

"Take a left at the end of the chapter and you'll get back to whatever story you came from." Jellal answered curtly.

Grumbling, the couple went on their way.

Jellal went to his window and saw that it was so dark, that looking out of the window pane, he could scarcely distinguish between the transparent window and the opaque walls of Magnolia rising before him. He was endeavouring to pierce the darkness with his ferret eyes, when the chimes of the neighbouring church struck the four quarters. So he listened for the hour.

To his great astonishment the heavy bell went on from six to seven and from seven to eight, and regularly up to twelve; then stopped. Twelve! It was past two when he went to bed! The clock was wrong. An icicle must have gotten into the works. Twelve!

"Holy _shit_, it's not possible" said Jellal "that I could have slept through a whole day and far into another night. It isn't possible, I say! It isn't possible! It has to be twelve at noon and not twelve at night!" The idea being an alarming one, he scurried from the window and groped his way to another window. Rubbing the frost from the pane with the sleeve of his night gown, he looked through. And met the same image. Shaking his head, disbelief still churning in his old viens, he went back to bed, and thought and thought and masterbated a little and thought. The more he thought, the more perplexed he became, and the more he decided that touching himself was the best thing to do at that moment. And the more he tried to ignore thinking, the more he thought

Siegrain's ghost bothered him exceedingly. Every time he resolved within himself, after matue inquiry, that it was all a dream, his mind brought up the picture of Siegrain, clad in his chains.

"Bull shit!" roared the disbelieving Jellal. And then, in a small vioce, he murmured "was it a dream or not?"

Jellal lay like this for an unreasonable amount of time, thinking through it. In his state, he heard the bell chile three quarters more, and then he remembered, on a sudden, that the ghost of Siegrain had warned him of a visitation when the bell tolled one. He resolved to lie awake until was hour was passed; and, considering he could no more go to sleep than go to Hell, this was perhaps the best thing to do for the old bastard.

The hour went by so sluggishly, that more than once, he thought he had drifted off to sleep. At last, after so long, he heard the ringings.

"Ding dong!"

"a quarter past" said Jellal

"Ding dong"

"Half past!" said Jellal

"Ding dong!"

"Yeah bitch! It's one and nothings happened. I knew Siegrain was just a crazy fuck! Suck it!" Jellal said truimphantly

He spoke before the hour bell sounded, which it now did with a deep, dull, hollow melancholy One. Red light flashed up in the room in an instant, and the curtains of his bed were drawn. The curtains of his bed were drawn aside, I tell you, by a hand. And, Jellal, in a terror, found himself face to face with the unearthly visito who had drew them: as close to it as I am now to you, since I'm watching you while you read this. Oh dear, more useless nonsense. Back to Jellal!

It was a strange figure! Truly strange! For, it looked, like Siegrain was identical to he, like his clerk, Natsu Dragneel! It's hair, like his clerk, was short, spiky and pink. He was extremely young, like his clerk. But unlike his clerk, who usually looked cool and composed, this spirit had a peevish grin upon it's handsome face. And strangely, it was dressed in a black waistcoat with gold trimmings over his chest with no undershirt, white knee-length trousers, a thick black wristband on his left wrist, and black open toed sandals and a scarf that was wrung around his neck.

Yet, the strangest thing about the ghost, was that it was not alone! Clinging to its shoudler was a small, glowing blue cat!

"Holy hell!" Jellal gasped "Are you the spirit, boy, whose coming was foretold to me?"

The spirit squinted at him "damn, your old, man. Like, super old. Imma call you gramps!"

Jellal frowned "Be silent! I am still young!"

The spirit laughed "Young? You look like a wrinkled tomato, old man. Isn't that right, Happy?"

"Aye, sir!" chirped the little cat.

At this, Jellal was very much surprised.

"Who and what are you? A-are you my clerk, Natsu?" questioned the astonished old Jellal.

"I am the Ghost of Christmas Past" said the doppleganger of the clerk "I don't know who this Natsu guy is, but if he's strong, tell him to find me so that we can fight!"

"Yeah!" added the little talking cat, Happy

"Are you the ghost of long past?" asked Jellal

the spirit snorted "No, I'm the ghost of your mother's past. Stupid old man, I'm the ghost of _your_ past!"

Perhaps, Jellal could not have told anybody why, but he had a specail urge to hold the little blue cat, and he begged the spirit so

"What? Happy's not a toy!" cried the indignant ghost

"Yeah!" added the cat "Meanie! I'm a spirit! You can't hold me!"

resigned, Jellal left it alone. But then, he grew a pair of balls, and asked what the spirit was doing there

"For your own sake, old man!" said the ghost

Jellal knodded in agreement, but couldn't help grumble about athe being left in his fucking peace

"What was that?" demanded the spirit

"Nothing, nothing. Go on."

"You better keep your trap shut old man, or I'll clobber you, understand?"

Jellal sighed. He was far too old to brawl with strapping young men, eh spirits, such as the one before him.

"Alright then!" chirped the Ghost of Christmas Past "Let's go!"

clasping Jellal gently by the arm, he said to his little blue companion

"Come on Happy! Let's take this old bastard to his past!"

It would have been in vain for Jellal to plead with the spirit that a man of his age should not be leaving his home at such an hour or for such weather. That he wasn't dressed appropriately for suchc an outing, for he was only in a night gown and slippers! The spirits grasp, although gentle, was firm, and with a cheeky smile, he held up his hand

"No sir're. You're coming with us, if you like it or not!"

"That sounds like you're going to rape him" added the cat, who was behind the ghost now, holding onto his clothing.

"pfft" snorted the ghost "I wouldn't touch that old man if it was up to me"

Following the spirit, Jellal saw that they were heading towards the window

"Oh, no, wait one damn minute! I am but a mortal! You want me to fall and break my fucking neck?!"

"Don't worry, old bitch, Happy can support both of us!" replied the Ghost

Giving the glowing blue cat a scornful look, Jellal trusted that he would not die in the spirits hands.

As the words left the ghost's lips, they passed through the window and wall, and stood upon an open country road, with fields on either hands. Magnolia had vanished entirely. Not a vestige of it was to be seen. The darkness and the mist had disappeared as well, for it was a clear, cold winter day.

"Holy shit, this is where I grew up!" exclaimed Jellal

"Goddamn old man, you really are old! What age is this? The era of the dinosaurs?" the ghost snickered

"dino-what?" asked the perplexed Jellal

"Just know you're one of them" said the cheeky spirit.

Jellal stared at the open air, and he was conscious of a thousand odours floating in the ai, each one connected with a thousand thoughts and hopes and joys and cares long, long forgotten!

"Your lip" said the ghost "it's shaking. And what the hell is on your cheek? Are you _crying? _"

The little blue cat laughed "He is!"

the ghost roared with abandon "This is too funny! You're such a _pussy_!"

Jellal muttured something about herpes acting up again and begged the spirit to take himwhere he would.

"You remember the way?" asked the ghost

"Remember it!" scoffed Jellal "I could walk it blindfold."

They walked along the oad, Jellal recognising every gate and post, and tree: until a little market-town appeared in the distance with its bridge, its chuch and winding iver. In the middle of the market place, rising towards the heavens, was a massive pitch black tower. Some shaggy ponies trotted around the massive tower, with strange men riding them, and milling around the tower, thin and miserable, were children, chained together. All of them were boys and they wailed each time one of the men whipped them with a chain

"The Towe of Heaven!" gasped Jellal

"No" answered the cheeky "those are just the shadows bof the things that have happened already. They cannot see us."

As they came closer to the massive tower, little boys milled around Jellal and the ghost, picking through the dusty rocks and lifting up weapons that were to heavy for them. And each face Jellal saw, he named

"I beat the shit out of him...yeah, I enslaved him...oh, that buck tooth kid...there goes that fat one..."

Why did his cold eye glisten as he saw those boys, miserable as they were, and why did his heart leap when he saw them. Why was he filled with gladness when he heard each of them cry for some supper, and moved around the Tower of Heaven. And yet, they all said Merry Christmas to each other! What was mery Christmas to Jellal? Nothing, that's what!

"The Tower" said the ghost "look closely, and you'll see a boy, neglected by his friends."

Jellal said he knew, and he cried

They walked about the Tower of Heaven, walking past the well remembered routes and the well-remembered paths were children tried to run away too. Soon, they came upon a small part of the Tower Of Heaven, almost a building of its own, a small building of dull red brick, unlike the rest of the Tower. They entered, the ghost and Jellal, and went across the hall to a back door inside the building. It opened before them and showed a long, bare, ugly little room. Made uglier by the chains shackled to the walls, and hanging from one of them, his rich blue hair the only thing visible in the darkness. And Jellal walked towards it, and wept to see his poor forgotten self as he used to be. Not an echo, not a cry, not even the sound of a rat crawling though it. His younger self, with his head bowed, did not move. And this, Jellal cried for a little more.

The ghost appeared besides him, and slammed his fist in Jellal's back, and pointed at a man, coming in through the door, dressed in strange clothing.

"That's that stupid fucker, Zero! he was the one who taught me Heavenly Body Magic! He was the leader of The Tower of Heaven! That bastard, he was the one who chained me most of the time! I wanted to kill him, the bitch! Why, if I could, I'd shove a hot stick up his ass! And then there were his followers...what were they called again? Angel? Cobra? And the ring leader, Midnight!"

To hear Jellal rant on and on about the past life he had left behind, to see the look of rage and joy on his tear wet face, and the laughs erupting from him in between his cussings of "bitch!" and "die!" would have truly shocked the other bussinessmen in Magnolia indeed!

"I wish" Jellal muttured, wiping at his eyes, "but its too late now"

"Eh? What do you want?" asked the spirit

"Nothing." said Jellal "Nothing. There was a boy singing a christmas carol at my door last night. I-I should've given him something, that's it"

the ghost smiled

"Fine! Let's see another Christmas!" he chirped "Happy!" he called, and the litle blue cat grabbed him by the collar of his clothing. Grabbing Jellal's shoulder, they spunaway. Jellal's younger self, unmoving and chained in that small dirty room changed. He dissapeared from the chains, and the oom gew a little dustier, and more chapped with age. Before his very eyes, the room aged. And there he was again, only older, and he was alone again. But now, he was pacing the room up and down. Jellal looked at the ghost, who was picking his nose, and then with big eyes, he looked at the door. It opeend and a little girl, much younger than he, darted in and put her arms around his, kissing him.

"Brother! Dear brother! I've come to bring you home!"

"Home, little Lisanna?" said Jellal's younger self

"Yes!" said Lisanna "Home, for good and all. Home, for ever and ever. I asked our father, Makarov, if we should bring you home and he said Yes, yes we should! Isn't it great brother! Home! "

"You are quite the young woman, little Lisanna!" exclaimed the younger Jellal

She clapped her hands and laughed, and tried to touch his head. But being too little, she chose to embrace him again. Then she began to dag him away, with childish eagerness, towards the door. The door opened then, and there stood Master Zero, arms clasped behind him. Jellal announced that he was leaving, and Zero, with a snarl, said no.

"I remember this!" said the much older Jellal "the day I left the tower of Heaven! Why, right at this second, I'll-"

his words were cut off as his younger self smashed his fist in Master Zero's face

"I beat that asshole's ass!"

"Wow!" said the ghost "you should fight me sometimes!"

Jellal laughed, then looked upon his little sister's form, who laughed while Master Zero bled on the floor

"Ah, Lisanna" he sighed "Always a delicate creature. But she had a large heart!"

"and apparently, large breasts too" added the Ghost

Jellal scowled

"She died right? Giving birth to a son?" the ghost inquired

"Yes, my nephew, Gray"

The ghost frowned "Gray? Hm..I'll make sure to haunt him"

and now, suddenly, they were in the busy streets of a city, where shadowy passengers passed and repassed; where shadowy carts and coaches battled for the way, and all the strife and tumult of a real city were. It was made plain and simple, by all the big fat Santa Claus's and his merry little hoe hoe hoes, that it was Christmas here too. The ghost and Jellal stopped at a certain warehouse.

"I know this!" said Jellal "I was apprenticed here! By Ur!"

they went in. at first sight, they saw a beautiful young woman with short black hair, sitting behind desk

"Why! Its Ur! Ur, my Ur! She's alive! She taught me how to pimp the hoes!"

Ur placed down her pen, and looked behind her

"Hey! Jellal! Lyon! Come here!"

Jellal's former self came in briskly, followed by another boy, both all grown up.

"It's Lyon Vastia! Dear old Lyon! Why, Lyon and I were the best of friends! We used to have competitions to see who could train the hoes better! Oh, Lyon!"

"Alright" Ur said to her apprentices "No more work tonight. Send the hoes home! Tonight's Christmas Eve and tommorow Christmas! Shut the shop up!"

and Jellal watched in amusement as his former self and Lyon raced about, shutting the shutters, racing against each other to see who would finish first. And on watched Ur, smiling prettily as she went on

"You know, I have a hoe who looks like her. Ultear." said Jellal to the ghost.

The ghost smiled, and together they watched at they cleaned the warehouse as they would. And at the end of the day, the hoes were sent home, with a merry Christmas from Ur. And while the warehouse stood empty, in came a fiddler, and suddenly, a festival affair arose!

"Oh, I remember this night!" said Jellal, smiling, as he watched himself talk to a beautiful young woman.

And when the clock strung eleven, Ur's party ended, and all the partgoers left. Shaking hands, and laughing, they all left with a Merry Christmas on their lips! While, even Jellal himself could see his old former being saying Merry Christmas to them all!

And only when the party had ended and the warehouse quieted did Jellal remembebr that he was not part of such an era and returned to the ghost's side

"I never knew you could dance, Old man" snickered the ghost

"Fuck off! In my day, I was known as the bloomer dropper!" said an indignant Jellal

"Bloomers? Is that a type of chocolate?"

"No, foolish boy, they are panties"

The boy ignored the old man and grabbed him by the shoulder

"Where to now?" asked the happy Jellal, and the ghost, who smiled no more, called to his companion, and Ur's warehouse, and Lyon and his younger self disappeared.

Now, Jellal found himself out on a cold, brisk winter day. They were in a park, still in the city, filled with the brimmings of humanity. Jellal looked around, for he did not recall such a memory, and then he stiffened. For sitting on the bench, was _her. _

She was still beautiful, as to him as an old man, and then as a young man. A young Jellal sat besides her on the bench.

"E-Erza..." gasped the elder Jellal "Erza Scarlet"

and there she was, in the flesh. Her scarlet red hair fell to her shoulders in waves, and she was still as beautiful the maiden that he had fallen in love with than ever.

"No." he gasped "No, please, don't show me this." he turned to the ghost, pleading

the ghost, now grim, stared ahead "I am the Ghost of Christmas Past" said he "and you must remember your past"

and Jellal stared ahead.

"It matters nothing to you" she said softly "but it matters much to me! Please, Jellal!"

"There is nothing harder in this world!" said the younger Jellal "But poverty, my Erza. And there is nothing it searches to condemn more than the pursuit of wealth! I will not allow us to be poor!"

"You fear the world too much" she said "You can't keep running! You can't go down the road like this!"

"But, the Magic Council has finally ceased to condemn me for what I have done to the world. I cannot let us fall into poverty, Erza. Can't you see that?"

"But, Jellal. All your hopes and dreams for us, all of them, I have seen them crumble and fall until you are consumed by nothing but that desire!" said Erza. She leaned foreward, and touched his hand

"What then?" Jellal replied "What else then? I've let all those other dreams go, and I have become wisesr. Yet, I am not changed towards you, Erza. I love you."

"Do you?" she asked

"Yes"

"No" she replied "our love blossomed long ago, when you were young and full of vigor. When we were poor, yet you knew that we could improve upon our wordly fortune. When we fell in love, you were another man"

"I was a boy" Jellal replied hotly

"Your own feelings tell you that you are not what you are."

"I know who I am, Erza. And I know what I want. I want you, I want you to be happy, and that does not involve poverty"

"but I don't care about the dresses and the money! I don't care. I just want you Jellal. Please, stop this tireless pursuit!"

"Never" he answered

"Never then?" questioned Erza

"I will not. I will not succumb to poverty again."

"But, does the pursuit of wealth mean more to you than me?"

"Your happiness means the world to me. I just want you to be happy."

"Then be free!" said Erza "Be free of this blind pursuit! Let it go! Prove that you love me more than money. Would you give up this chase for me, Jellal?"

Silence.

The older Jellal, watching forlonely, suddenly screamed "No! Don't say it, please, don't say it! You stupid fuck, don't tell her that!"

"For you, I would give up the world. But, I cannot. I want you to be happy, yet I cannot live in poverty."

Erza stared ahead, a grimf rown tracing her beautiful face. Then, slowly, she leaned towards him and kissed him. When she pulled back, as the older Jellal knew, she stood

"Then keep your money. For I want none of it and I want none of you."

His former self stared ahead, frozen by her words. She turned, her back straight, her eyes steely

"Good bye, Jellal"

and she walked away. His younger self stood, raised his hand, and opened his mouth to call her back, but the words caught in his throat. She walked away, and he stared after her.

"No, no more!" wailed the elder Jellal "please, don't show me any more"

the ghost turned to him, and his blue cat clung to his shoulder

"there is one more thing that must be shown"

grasping him, his younger self, and Erza's dissapearing form melted away. They were in a grave yard now, bleak and gray, filled with raining snow. Before him stood a grave

"No" gasped Jellal "No, please don't tell me she..."

"Nah, I'm just yanking your chain!" said the ghost. He pointed across the graveyard "Look over there. She is mourning the loss of her husband"

"husband?"

and there she stood, Erza Scarlet, older, yet still beautiful. Besides her, there was a small child, clinging to her dress.

"She married?"

"and remarried" added the ghost. "she married three times in her lifetime, and all the husbands died."

"No!" gasped Jellal "Take me from here! Now!"

"I told you, gramps, that these were the shadows of things gone past. Erza is much older now, and she's an old woman. The life you left behind belongs in the past."

"Take me from here!" screamed Jellal, now in a full rage "I can no longer bare more! No!"

"Stop shouting!" said the ghost "I'm going I'm going. Geez, it's not my fault that you lost the only woman who loved you."

Jellal turned on the ghost boy, and grabbed him by his clothing. He shook the boy hard, and screamed

"No more! No more! No more! No more! No more! Take me from here, now!"

The boy, groaning, called to his cat. And together, the scene disappeared. They were back in his own home, the thoughts and the memories of his lost love, his old childhood, the Tower of Heaven, all gone.

"I told you!" said the ghost "I told you that these were the shadows of things you left! Don't blame me!"

"Leave me the fuck alone!" shouted Jellal "Haunt me no longer!"

and with that, he swung his fist, like a young man. The ghost, who cocked a grin, smiled. And thinking that he was about to get in a brawl at last, Jellal was surprised when the fist passed right through the ghost's body. And the Ghost of Christmas Past, along with his blue cat companion, was gone.

Crying and sniveling, hating the emotions churning within him, Jellal went back to his bed, and crawled unto it. Hiding behind his covers, suddenly exhausted, he closed his eyes, and was to sleep immediately.

* * *

Authors Note: Hello! Sorry I couldn't have updated this by myself yesterday, but I was out with two very annoying people. I hope you enjoy this, because I swear, it takes a lot out of me just to write one chapter for this specail! Why is Laxus God you ask? Because he's awesome! Why is Lisanna playing Jellal's dead sister? because she's dead, that's why. I got the idea for this from Soveriegn964, so thanks! And why is Jellal playing Scrooge? Because I thought it'd be funny! Hope you like it, again! I only made Juvia's Gray's wife to please Gruvia fans. I was totally against it but a little vioce in me said 'meh' whatever. I give full copyright to Charles Dickens (an AWESOME writer by the way)and Hiro Mashima, because none of this is really mines. I take some of the plot lines and the characters and BAM you have a A Fairy Tail Christmas Carol. Oh, and I decided to liven things up with the cussing because I wanted to do some humor! So enjoy it, because I'mn not posting anything else until I'm done! And I really hope a lot of you have read A Christmas Carol because if you haven't, you'll be lost!


	21. Chapter 21

Seriously Can't Take It Anymore!

Warning: The following rant was made on what I like to call, a Nalu induced ecstacy. I seriously have no idea what came over me, but I got fed up with Natsu and Lucy NOT being a couple, and just went a little bonkers!

I can't take it anymore. Seriously, I can't take it anymore.

I need Natsu and Lucy to be a goddamned couple NOW, or I will tear out the few pieces of hair that I have not torn out yet.

Why is the world so cruel to me! I only want ONE thing for Christmas, and that's NALU! Not fucking Graylu, or Nali, I want good old fashioned NALU! I just seriously need to see a new Nalu moment sooner or later, because I seriously can't take it anymore. I mean, just baiting me with those cute little pictures and those adorable little hints that they could be something more is NOT FUCKING ENOUGH, MASHIMA. NO WAY.

I...don't want to wait a second longer. I can't take it. It's killing me slowly now, everytime I think about Nalu. It's like a knife sinking beneath my chest, twisting every time I see a CUTE PICTURE OF THEM. I can't take it anymore!

You see, for a normal teenage girl, I shouldn't be whining about this. But NO, they MUST become one sooner or later, or..I don't know what I'll do. It hurts! It hurts so bad! I want them together NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW. Do I seriously have to give the reasons why they need to make out? HELL NO! I've already given enough. But, seriously, they just click. Don't bitch to me about Graylu, or Nali, because those are unlikely to happen. Elmo sniffing crack is most likely to happen before Graylu or Nali.

**Dear Santa Claus, **

**Listen here old man. As a kid, I made it my specailty to land on the naughty list because I just seriously wanted to prove that you weren't real. I still don't believe in you, because to me, as a young child, you were nothing more than a pedophile in a red suit who liked to look at little children sleep, and in return for touching them, you gave them gifts so that they wouldn't call the cops to arrest you. **

**But that's not why I'm here. I'm desperate enough to turn to you now, because for Christmas I only want one thing. **

**Well, two thing actually. But, I could do without the other thing, even if it will kill me. **

**Please Santa, make Nalu happen! Pretty please with a cherry on top! Screw the entire world! Ignore those little kids your about to give shoes to! JUST MAKE NALU HAPPEN! I'll even try to half-ass my way to being nice, Santa. JUST PLEASE MAKE NALU HAPPEN! Pretty please! I won't be mean to my sister, I won't call my friends turds, and I won't be lazy again for the first three days of the new year! I won't even cuss for like half a day! I need Nalu to happen, you old bastard! PWEASSEEEEEE! **

**I understand that I'm probably on the naughty list this year too. But I'm pretty sure we can straighten that out with good old Mister Benjamin Franklin right? So, you know, just dock that bill in your pocket, and MAKE NALU HAPPEN!**

**Sincerely, Thinwrist (Yeah right, like I'm going to tell you my name. So you can watch me sleep? If that's what it takes, you can go stuff your head in that fat jolly ass of yours right now.)**

Oh geez, I'm low enough to stoop to asking Santa Claus for favors.

UGH! This is all Hiro Mashima's fault. Your a troll, Mashima! You're a troll, do you understand?! You're the biggest troll I know and you love torlling us. Do you enjoy doing this? You drive me wild with half shit you pull. I mean did anyone read Chapter 312? WHAT?! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT HIRO?! WHAT THE HELL, TROLLSHIMA! I mean, after releasing that chapter did you _'Hi Hi Hi, I've done it again! I love myself' _You better hope I never find you, because we will need to discuss some things over a nice cup of coffee and a GLOCK! Oh, after reading that chapter, I went nuts. I NEED to know more. BY THE FIRST OF JANUARY I MUST HAVE MY NEW CHAPTER! I need to know what the hell is going on, and I need a cute Jellal and Erza moment, a cute Gajeel and Levy moment and I BETTER GET THE BIGGEST DAMN NALU MOMENT EVER! NOW!

Life isn't worth living when I can't have anymore Fairy Tail or Nalu moments! I mean, I was sitting there, rewatching a certain episode of FT, you know, the one called 'The Terror of Invisible Lucy', I think it was episode 125, and I had to stop the episode, because when Natsu was the only one to remember Lucy, I screamed

"DAMMIT JUST KISS ALREADY"

There's no point talking to Natsu and Lucy about this. I think I've calmed down now, because, sob, I already know this might take forever. And it hurts to say this I just might have to wait, even if I sometimes lose it, because I seriously need those two to get together. It's now become a festering desire deep within my soul. It's a horrible toxin that I can't get out of my system, because until those two dimwits get together, I CAN'T STAY AT REST.

Fuck you, Fairy Tail. I'm pissed at ALL of you for not shoving Natsu and Lucy together. Just..just...fuck you (but I still love you!)

and fuck you, Trollshima. (Still love you too! I love you like I love the little vioce inside my head)

This has been Thinwrist. And now I shall crawl in bed and cry because Nalu still hasn't happened yet.

Bye.

* * *

Authors Note: Hehe, I just got fed up with Nalu not being canon yet. After watching a plathora of Nalu videos, and seeing Pictures of them that look so cute, and comparing FT To Rave Master, I just go uber pissed! It MUST HAPPEN! Am I insane? Maybe. Am I proud of that? Hell Yeah! I just can't help it! This is probably one of my best rants ever!


	22. Chapter 22

_****_**Authors Note: Wow! I'm on top this time! Kewl! I know, this is completely random. You thought I was done with A Christmas Carol! But no! For those of you who forgot what was happening. ****_Jellal Fernandez is now at the end of his life. Visited by the Ghost of his dead partner-not in that way-Siegrain, he is warned that he will be visited by Three Spirits, so that he can save himself from eternal torment. He's already been visited by the first Spirit, and now, he is about to meet the second. What does this Spirit hold for him? _****For those of you who haven't read A Christmas Carol, then you will be kinda lost, because I mix Classic Dickens, my own hilarious writing style, and Fairy Tail characters and plot line together. This is not of mines! I give full copyright to Dickens, And Mashima! Ehem, I mean, Trollshima!**

* * *

_**Stave Three**_

_**the second o f the three ghosts**_

Waking up was a bitch. Arising from his bed, Jellal had no idea to be told that the bell was again upon the stroke of One. Sitting up from his bed, he felt that he was restored to his normal self in the right nick of time, for the especail purpose of holding a conference with the second messenger about to come to him from Siegrain's intervention.

_That old bastard _thought Jellal to himself _This is bullshit!_

But, even as he cursed Siegrain to the deepest pits of the netherworld, he couldn't help think about what the first spirit had shown him. The strange lad dressed in a waist-coat, with that little blue cat, who had looked exactly like his clerk, Natsu Dragneel. And while the thoughts sang in his head, rising into a high crescendo and then descending into something soft and subtle in the old man's mind, he trembled. For remembering his old days, seeing the days of his youth, had shaken him to the core. Seeing dear dead Ur, and his fellow prentice, Lyon, remembering the days when life had been fun. And then there had been the belle of his life, Erza Scarlet. For a moment, the old sorrow was reopened and Jellal relived his moments with her. He remembered loving her like he had loved no other human in his life, remembered her name being the one thing in the world that had made his heart beat. And, while the clock edged on, he remembered his love. And regretted ever letting the beauty slip from his grasp.

But it was not of a gentleman such as himself to weep over loves and lives forgotten. It was not in his place, at such a sagely age, to cry over his days of youth. And so, Jellal pondered on what the second ghost would be like, and he steeled himself, prepared for whatever might come. He had prepared himserlf so much, literally grown balls of steel, that, when the bell struck One, he immiedatiately, as in the great words of his nephew, 'pussied' out. He trembled mightily, for he had expected the ghost to come at one, and stayed that way for a good five minutes. And when the ghost did not appear, he released a string of un-gentleman like words that he himself had forgotten, mainly aimed at Siegrain for being a 'stupid, hairbrained, fucking jackass who sucks-', you understand...

And while he contemplated on whether or not he could do voodoo, just to raise Siegrain up from death, and then beat him back to death, his room suddenly flared up with powerful light. So blindingly so, that, he was stuck rigid to his bed, as one might be when some strange shit is going on in one's own house.

When the light faded, he looked around. It was his own room. There was no doubt about that. But it had undergone a suprinsingly strange transformation. The walls and cielings were so hung with living green, that it looked like a perfect forest; from every part of which, bright gleaning berries glistened. The crisp of holly, mistletoe, and ivy reflected back to the light, as if so many little mirrors had been scattered tither and hither. And a mighty fire went roaring up the chimney that niether he, nor Siegrain had used in either of their lifetimes. Heaped up on the floor, to form a kind of throne, were turkeys, chickens, wild goose, pigs, sausages, mince-pies, more turkeys, and for some odd reason, burger king sandwhiches. These smells coming from the food-throne filled the room with their delicious stench. In a relaxed way, upon his throne, like the King of Kings, was a man, glorious to behold. He was a tall, muscular man, with shoulder length reddish orange hair that Jellal found completely un-gentlemananly like. He had stubble around his mouth and on his head. And although he looked like a fellow not to be reckoned with, his muscular body was heavily bandaged, and he had a prothestic left arm and leg, he wore a friendly smile on his face.

"Come in!" cried the Ghost "Come in! And know me better, man!"

Jellal arose from his bed timidly, for this man looked like a true badass, and hung his head to the spirit. He was not in the mood to fight, and although the spirit was acting kind and clear, he could not meet the steely and powerful eyes

"I am the Ghost of Christmas Present" said the ghost "But just call me Gildarts! Now look at me, man!"

Jellal reverently did so. The Ghost was clothed in a tattered black robe, and trousers, yet he had no shirt on.

"You haven't met someone like me, eh?" said the ghost

"never" answered Jellal

"You've never met anyone like me? Well, I suppose you haven't, because by the looks of you, you're not a woman"

affronted, Jellal replied "of course not! By the sound of it, you sound like you've met many a woman"

at this, the ruddy ghost smiled "of course. More than eighteen hundred"

Jellal gasped "That's a lot of ass!"

The Phantom rubbed his jaw "Yes, I suppose. And you?" inquired Gildarts

Jellal, embarrassed by such an open question, said nothing

"I'm guessing one, right?"

Jellal said nothing

"Whhhaaaattttt?" gasped Gildarts "Not..not even _one_"

angered, he replied "That is none of your bussiness!"

chucking, the ghost sighed "yes, I guess it isn't any of bussiness." and for no apparent reason, he asked "Do you want to see my daughter, Cana? The prettiest thing you'd ever meet!"

"Spirit," said Jellal "hurry up. I went out last night on compulsion with a nother ghost, and I regret it deeply. I would like to get this over with quickly. So, please be quick"

The Spirit of Christmas Present arose.

"Touch me!" said the Ghost

"W-What?"

"Grab my robe, man. And be quick!"

Mistletoe, throne of food, even the very room vanished the second Jellal grasped the robe of the Spirit. And now they stood on the city streets of Magnolia on Christmas morning where, for the weather was bad, the people made a rough, but brisk way across the world.

The city of Magnolia was, although dampened by the cold bleak day, was filled with the merryment of those touched by Christmas. Men, dressed in their finest, and ladies, clutching the arms of those that were either their courters, or their good friends, walked the streets. And as they went along the way, Jellal and Gildarts, they passed many homes, their windows darkened by the dark weather, invisible to the outside world. And together, they passed through homes and famalies, sitting at their tables, together, filled with food. Sometimes, they would pass homes that had no fine food decorating their plates, and the Ghost of Christmas Present would touch the table, and it would be laden down the finest of meals. And the family would crowd around it, as if it had always been there, and Jellal would watch in amazement. And perhaps it was the pleasure of the good Spirit had in showing off his power, or else it was own kind, generous, hearty nature and his sympathy with all poor men, that led him straight to Jellal's clerk's home. To this home Gildarts took Jellal and there, at the threshold, with a smile on his face, the ghost blessed the home of Natsu Dragneel. And in one particular room, there sat Natsu's wife, Lucy, and their two children, and another man. Mrs. Dragneel was a particulary pretty woman, with blonde hair, and a bust that Jellal gaped at for a moment. She was dressed poorly, not in materail, but in clothing

"My word" said Jellal "I understand that maybe traditional garments are not within Natsu's finacial grasp, but, he could atleast clothe his lady better, for look at the length of her skirt!"

if the ghost had heard, he simply did not care, for he looked on, and so did Jellal, while the family sat at a small table. Lucy passed around the food to her eldest daughter, Virgo, who passed it to her brother, Capricorn, who took it with gracious hands. Besides them, there were the Dragneel's guest, Gajeel Redfox, an orphaned boy who the Dragneel's had invited to their small finite feast.

"Oh dear" sighed Lucy "what could be taking Natsu so long? And where is Tiny Wendy? And Levy is late!"

"I'm here, Lucy-chan!" said a girl, petite in form, with blue hair.

"keh," said the orphaned boy, Gajeel, "why'd you invite her? It's not like she's welcome or anything"

Levy took a seat at the table, besides Gajeel, who blushed and frowned. Now, niether would admit it pubicly, but both Levy and Gajeel were...ah..._together. _

"It's good to see you, Levy. I'm happy you could make it"

"Forgive my tardiness, Lucy-chan. I was working late the night before with the charity foundation."

"It's alright. It's alright. Just as long as you're here"

"Look, mother!" said Virgo, "here comes father!"

and indeed, there came Jellal's clerk, Natsu, with a small blue-haired girl upon his shoulders.

"here she is!" said Natsu, taking the small child from his shoulders and placing her in the arms of her mother

"How did Wendy behave?" asked Lucy, placing the small girl on her lap

"Very well, mother!" chirped the girl

yet her vioce trembled as she said this, and Jellal saw. While although she was pretty, her premature undergrowth was not of the norm, for sitting in a corner was a crutch. Yet, the whole family and their guests sat at the table, and such a bustle ensued while the finished splititng the food between them. And they ate as if they were having the rarest of food and not a common bird. And in the middle of it, smiling and laughing, was Tiny Wendy.

At last, the wonderful dinner was all done, the cloth cleared, and the hearth swept. The fire had been made up, and Lucy had to gently slap Natsu on the head to keep him from ingesting the fire. And Lucy called all her children and guests around the fire, still holding her tiny crippled child, and Natsu passed out hot chocolate. And before they all took a sip from their drinks, they each held out their hands in a toast, and Lucy led the family in a cry of

"Merry Christmas! Laxus bless us!"

which all the family reechoed.

"Laxus bless us!" said Tiny Wendy, last of all

"Gildarts" asked Jellal "Tiny Wendy, tell me, will she live?"

Gilarts rubbed his jaw, and said "In the future, I see an empty crutch without an owner, and a mother weeping over a child lost."

Looking back towards the joyous family, Jellal couldn't believe that they would lose such a child

"You know," said Gildarts "She's not even their real child. Not to long ago, a man named Mystogan dropped her off, and asked to protect her with their lives. It takes a true man to accept her, like Natsu Dragneel has. She's the light of their lives. They all love her"

"then she musn't die!" Jellal urged

"But how can such a family aviod the inevitable?" murmured Gildarts "when, with fifteen rubies a week, they can barely afford to pay for their home. Tiny Wendy's expenxes are great, and the treatment to heal such an ailment is enormous."

Jellal, staring at the family, felt something crumble in his cold withered bosom.

"What?" asked the Phantom

"p-perhaps" said Jellal louder "Perhaps I should increase Dragneel's wage. Just a bit, so that Tiny Wendy can afford her treatment. I'm sure I can live with a few rubies less."

"Perhaps you should" said the Ghost thoughtfully "come, come, we still have yet another place to go, man"

With one last lingering glance at the clerk's family, Jellal watched as Tiny Wendy was handed to Levy. The family cheered on, and right before his eyes, Jellal saw Natsu lean towards his wife and kiss her gently. Mrs. Dragneel, tired and ragged from her cooking, dressed in clothing that did not befit such a lady, smiled. And her smile was beautiful, for, although she lacked many things much higher class ladies had, she had happiness. And Jellal could not help but wonder if he had stayed by his Erza's side, would he have been the same. Seeing the look on Mrs. Dragneel's face was better than any Christmas present he could have thought of.

Still holding onto the Ghost of Christmas Past, they left, and they walked the streets of Magnolia's invisible to the world. While Jellal walked alongside the ghost, something settled onto his heart, something he hardly recognized for he hadn't felt it for many a year.

"Man," asked the Ghost of Christmas Present "are you crying?"

wiping his brow, Jellal replied "I never understood what it was like for my clerk. I-I should've really given him a raise."

"It's not your fault. You're a groutchy old bastard, consumed by your work. How could you see that man's suffering when all he wore was a smile?"

it was true. Dragneel never frowned towards his boss, never asked for anything. The lad could be annoying, what with his fire ingesting abilities, and his rivalry with Jellal's nephew, but, not once in his years under employment with Jellal did he show signs of suffering.

Another thought struck the geezer. If Dragneel had come to him asking for a raise, would he have given it to him?

Jellal, so consumed by the thoughts of his clerk, and suddenly, how the world percieved him, did not realize where he was until he was there.

"Oh my, this is my nephew's home"

and indeed it was. Laughing with merryment and ardor, his nephew, Gray Fullbuster, sat at a fine table, laden down with food. Besides him was his wife, Juvia. And around the table were their friends, Elfman and his bride, Evergreen. And Mirajane Strauss, and her courter, Freed Justine. And, at the head of the table, was a old man, named Makarov Drayer.

Oh, behold, see how they laughed! The joy on their faces while they talked and enjoyed each other's companies. The feeling in the room around them, soft and warm, like a mother's breast to her babes, or a crackhead's crack. It touched Jellal, and something inside him shuddered. Perhaps, one may wonder, if it was the ice in his heart, finally thawing. Or, was it his heart itself, breaking?

"Gray-sama" said Juvia to her husband "Did you not invite your uncle, Jellal Fernandez?"

"Yeah I did" said Gray "I invite that old bitch every year. And every year he rejects"

"Why do you keep inviting him then?" asked Freed

Gray, placing his spoon down, answered "because it must be lonely for him, every year, just sitting in that big ass house of his. He does nothing but work, and I know he has a stick up his ass, but even the tightest of tightwads need some company on Christmas."

"Yes" answered the sweet Mirajane

"That's why, I'll keep inviting him, every year until he can come and join us."

"That is a man. It takes a true gentleman to uphold such an idea!" cheered Elfman

smiling, Gray said "I heard that my mother, Lisanna, was a lovely woman. And that Jellal had loved her dearly. I thought, you know, maybe he'd want to be with the son of his sister?"

At the thought of Lisanna, Jellal whimpered. For he did miss his sister, dead these years, and he did wish to see her smile, or hear her vioce. Gray was nothing like her, he was too cold for that, but, she was the kin of his sister.

"Why?" asked Jellal "Why didn't I ever go?"

"How should I know?" replied the Ghost "It was your decision all these years"

Makarov Dreyar held up a glass of wine "Let's toast to Jellal. So that, even if he's not here, at least some people have him in their hearts"

and to this, they all lifted their glass, and in unison, they cheered "To Jellal!"

"May he live long, that old bastard!" added Gray

and on went the celebration, until the meal was done, and the parlor and dining room cleaned. And together, the friends, all of them, enjoyed their evening together. Jellal didn't particularly enjoy the game called "How big of a jackass is Jellal?", but, he kindly accepted it.

When this was done, the vision of his nephew was gone, and Jellal was back in his own bed chamber

"Man." said the Ghost

"Oh, yes?" replied Jellal

"My time here on this world only last's for one day. And that is Christmas. I leave to-night."

"No shit, your times almost up" and then, for he had just noticed something odd coming from the man's cloak, he said "Gildarts. You don't mind if I ask you something?"

"Nah" replied the Ghost "Go ahead"

"What's that lump under you cloak?"

Looking down, Gildarts blinked "Oh yeah. Those two" and he lifted his cloak. Jellal, expecting to be flashed, squinted, but then he was shocked to see two kids tumble from underneath his cloak.

"What the hell are those things?"

"Children of course"

"Yes, and I'd like to know why you keep children beneath your cloak" peering at the Ghost more closely, Jellal tried to discern if Gildarts liked little children in that manner

They were quite handsome, these children. They were both boys, yet one was blonde, ashen and glowing, while the other was dark haired, with a silent brooding face, and a serious aura. Yet in their eyes, where joy and happiness should've overfilled their plump faces, there was only cold hard bitterness and anger, stale and shrivelled, like the devil himself had reached out and stolen the happiness from them.

"These are not mines" said Gildarts "Thank _Laxus_ for that. All I want is my little Cana! But these children, they are Man's. This boy, the one with the blonde hair, is known as Ignorance. And sometimes called Sting. And the dark haired one is called Want. Sometimes Rogue. Beware them both, but beware the boy called Sting the most, because he can truly lead to your destruction. I don't understand why they cling to me. Its annoying because I can't pick up the ladies with them holding on to me like I'm their father!"

"Have they no family or friends?"

"Are there no prisons?" echoed the Ghost, bringing up the very words that Jellal had used "Stick them all in the prisons. And if they die, they better hurry up, so that they can reduce the surplus population"

and, although he did not recall hearing the bell, it struck twelve. And with this, the jolly Ghost of Christmas Present was gone, along with Sting a.k.a Ignorance and Rogue a.k.a Want. Yet, when the last vibration had ceased, and Jellal looked about for his bed, he could not see it. But he did see, lifting up his eyes to behold, a solemn Phantom, draped, yet not hooded, coming, like a mist along the ground, towards him. Swallowing, for his mouth was very, very dry, Jellal saw what he was looking at. And he knew immediately who it was

"The Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come. Zeref."


	23. Chapter 23

_**Wanna know why Mashima is taking so long to release the next chapter? Because he's deciding how much Nalu to put in it. **_

_**Silly Mashima. **_

_**There is never too much Nalu.**_

_**-Anonymous, Tumblr**_

**Fairy Tail Withdrawal-It can happen to anyone!**

**Glib Globit, episode 163 has been detained! I kinda died when I went on my favorite FT website and it was all like "Fairy Tail Episode 163 will be aired January 4th". Well, my first reaction was **_"__What the living fuck?! I woke up at like six in the damn morning just to swoon and anticipate this episode, even if I already know what's going to happen, and I get this shit. AHHHHHHHH!" _The world hates me. If I DON'T get my Fairy Tail soon, I will suffer FT. Withdrawal (Wow, so many acrnoymns! Can you remember them all?)

What is FT. Withdrawal? Its that stage of anime addiction, when you love an anime so much, and you lyke need a new episode every day to just survive, and you don't get it. It can happen with anyone, not just FT. EVERYONE has suffered a small dose of FT. Withdrawal, because, I hate to say this, we can't watch a new episode everyday. And think about when the anime ends?! (Spear me now, I don't want Fairy Tail to end. IT'S MY ONE TRUE ANIME.). I'd like to think there are several levels of FT. Withdrawal.

There's Stage One-_You miss about one episode for like one day. That's fine. Tommorow you're going to watch a buttload of episodes and read a buttload of the manga anyway. So, yeah, that's going to rock. _

There's Stage Two-_You still haven't watched a single episode OR read a chapter of the manga. Seriously need to NOW. You entertain yourself by thinking about the anime. _

There's Stage Three-_Thinking isn't enough. You're getting irritated now. You seriously need to drag yourself to a computer, or a tablet, or something that streams video from online or fly your ass to japan just to watch it in Japanese, you just need an episode. You're considering flying to japan_

There's Stage Four-_You're scratching yourself now. DAMMIT, I NEED TO WATCH IT NOW. ITS BEEN TOO LONG. You need to watch a new episode because in your heart, there is a frantic beating, like the mind of madman, that needs to get what it wants. YOU WILL BURN DOWN A DAMN CHURCH IF THATS WHAT IT TAKES TO GET A NEW EPISODE AND A NEW CHAPTER. You absaloutely refuse to rewatch episodes or reread chapters because then, you'll jump back to somethoing old, and you want to know what's currently happening. You're considering sacrificing a fish to just about every diety out there in hopes of them answering your prayers for a new episode. YOU CAN'T TAKE THIS. YOU CAN'T TAKE THIS. YOU CAN'T TAKE THIS. _

There's Stage Five-_You cry yourself to sleep because dammit, you haven't gotten your new episode or chapter and its driving you so wild. You're jumping up and down and its killing you. Little kids run away from you because you got a look In your eyes that say _'Fuck off unless you want me to cut you' _You're wondering if its your fault because, like, you don't understand why you're being tortured like this. Is this some sick joke? Is this funny to some people. You can't wait. You can't wait. IN three seconds you will explode. Like NOW. YOU NEED AN EPISODE NOW. _

Well, those are my stages of withdrawal. I like to fight FT. Withdrawal by watching other new animes. Like right now, to combat my insatiable desire for FT, I'm watching Hellsing, reading Ouran High School Host Club manga (for the second time), Watching D. Gray Man, and Finishing up Is This A Zombie?. I like these animes, their awesome, but, I seriously need FT NOW! I highly suggest you DO NOT go on tumblr or youtube and just search up Nalu, or GaLE, or that type of stuff because watching and looking at FT related stuff just makes me go a little crazier.

I think I need help. Because, I'm drowning in Nalu feels here; I ship them so hard! And Gale, but not as hard, because I know that that's gonna happen. It seems like Levy has a crush on Gajeel, and Gajeel is just another idiot who can't see what he's got. Annoying bastard. But, damn, I mean, I ship NALU so hard. I will go down with that ship! Even if it doesn't happen _(which isn't possible, right, Mashima?) _I mean, my computer wall paper? Nalu. Ipod wall paper? Nalu. Nearly every account I have on the internet. What's my profile pic? Nalu! (I would change my profile pic on Fanfiction too, but Tamaki just looks so cute!)

Some people absaloutely hate Nalu, and some people hate Fairy Tail altogether. Those are the crtical fucks who haven't seen the light of day for like...a month? The one's who are the annoying tightwads who like to point out every misstep. IS FAIRY TAIL THE BEST ANIME OUT THERE? Let's be serious here, no. (Don't attack me!) IS IT _ONE _OF THE BEST ANIMES OUT THERE? HELL YES. I think it all depends on what type of person you are to love a certain ship with all your heart and a certain anime with all your heart. It just depends on who you are. Besides, 80% of people who watch FT love it, and of that 80% who love FT, about 90% support Nalu. So, for anyone who doesn't like FT, or anything, go screw your horse, then your cow, then fly to the moon, and see if you can screw yourself sideways. Basically, Fuck you. I don't like seeing people bash FT. I can get real here. That seven year time skip? It threw me off, but I adjusted. And overrall? Fairy Tail is a good endearing anime. I LOVE IT. And for those who don't ship Nalu. Um, who asked you? I respect your opinion, but I like to hope that my ship will happen. BESIDES HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE MY OTP? THIER ABSALOUTELY POSTIVELY PERFECT. (That's love bitch!).

Help me! Nalu has taken over my brain. Literally, this is how my thoughts go: _NALU NALU NALU NALU FAIRY TAIL OH DAMN, WHAT'S THAT SMELL NALU NALU NALU NALU SOMETHING DEPRESSING NALU NALU NALU I'M PLANNING ON STARTING TO LEARN JAPANESE AGAIN NALU NALU NALU NALU FAIRY TAIL OTHER THINGS THAT INVOLVE LIFE. _

Oh well. I'm happy being the way I am. So beware anime Withdrawal, love Fairy Tail with all your heart (and I seriously need to finsh off my Christmas Carol sepcail.)and continue to be crazy

OHHHHH YEAH. ONE LAST THING. At the end of this little post, is this, well, obscene little one-shot I wrote because I wrote it while listening to 'can you feel the love tonight'. It's Gale, and I just couldn't get it out of my head (DON'T YOU DARE SKIP DOWN AND NOT FINISH READING WHAT I HAVE TO SAY!) So, yes, it's kind of lemoney, but I don't do lemons because they make me blush and I have an overactive imagination that REALLY gets out of hand, so no. It's not really lemoney, but, yes, it has some dirty stuff in it. What can I say? Elton John makes me horny. (come on, that song, is the best baby making song ever. I love it, and I was appalled when I saw that they used it for the Lion King. I won't have my future child singing 'Mommy, can you feel the love tonight?'. Just no. But whatever)

So now that I've wasted your time with useless shit, read on! Oh, and _please, _don't expect more of these little one-shots because I don't get in those kind of moods easily (unless I'm watching Bleach. It's sexy guy galore!)

Have a Happy New Year!

FAIRY TAIL UNTIL EXISTENCE CEASES TO EXIST!

-Thinwrist

* * *

**Sticky Situation**

**When Levy thought about it, things could get sticky. When she looked at Gajeel, and thought about it, ****_really _****thought about it, things could get ****_really _****bad. **

**It started when she first saw Natsu and Lucy together; they were together ****_together_****. When they sat besides each other, or walked close together, Levy noticed that, although Lucy was a good head shorter than Natsu, they were, ****_well,_****so proportional. She wasn't too small for him and he wasn't too big. Which said a lot to Levy, because, when those two idiots finally decided to take their relationship to the next level, they'd fit together so well. **

**The same thing went for Juvia. Whoever she chose, Gray or Lyon, she'd fit perfect with them. She was almost the same hieght as Gray, and shorter than Lyon, but that was fine. They were good together. **

**Evergreen and Elfmen were good too. Once Elfmen lost some muscle, they'd fit together like peas and carrots. **

**And, although Levy shouldn't pry into Erza-san's bussiness, she and Jellal were like two jigsaw puzzle pieces. (yes, ****_everyone_****knew about Erza and Jellal)**

**Which had Levy worried because...well...she was just so small. And Gajeel was just so ****_big. _****Compared to her, Gajeel was a gaint! He wasn't just a good head taller than her. She was half his size! The first time they kissed? She had to crawl into his ****_lap , _****like a doll, just so that he didn't have to crane his neck down too much. She'd completely ignored that fact, but, when she thought about it, they didn't fit together at all! She was lost in his arms when they hugged! He could pick her up and hold her like she was nothing! She wanted to atleast be well...atleast reach his shoulder! **

**She knew she was small. She'd always been that way; she couldn't help it. There wasn;t anything big about Levy, except her library. And everything about Gajeel was big. His powers, his hair, everything!**

**Which lead Levy to dangerous thoughts. Because, you see, a man's hieght tells a lot. Just his overall appearance says a lot. And so does a woman's. She didn't mean to get dirty, which was ****_so _****unlike her (that was more Erza), but...things could get sticky. Gajeel had stated numerous times in his own gruff manner that he wanted to do things with Levy that she wasn't ready for yet. She'd once overheard his conversion with Natsu that involved ****_that _**

**It went like this:**

**Gajeel: "Lucky you. At least she'll do it."**

**Natsu: "Haha, Lucy's the best! It wasn't hard really, sincde she hardly wears clothes anyway!"**

**Gajeel: "You're right about that. I wish Levy would dress up like Bunny Girl sometimes. It'd be easier to catch her off guard!"**

**She'd been furious with Gajeel after that little incident. Dress up like Lucy eh? So he could get her clothes off faster?! How indecent! She'd wanted to slap him for that. But that wasn't the point. **

**The point was, Gajeel was big, and Levy was small, and that was going to be a problem. Because, at least Natsu and Lucy were close to being the same size. Lucy was thin and curvy yes, but she had hips. And Natsu, what with his huge ego, and those ****_loose_****trousers, must be...ah...a man. So, when it boiled down to it, if both those idiots decided to take aech other to the moon, well...Natsu would fit! And whoever Juvia ended up, they'd fit. And the same thing for Evergreen and Erza!**

**Levy felt disgusting for having such thoughts, but she couldn't help it. When she found herself being hugged like a teddy bear, or having to be lifted up to kiss him, she couldn't help it. Because, she was small, and he was big, and she was just terrified of one day doing ****_that _****with him, and finding out that she was too small ****_down there. _****And all that worrying wasn't good for her, because she already worried about her breasts and whatnot. It was apparent, after that Tenroujima fiasco, that Gajeel like ladies with a little more bust. And sadly, Levy lacked bust. **

**GAH! It was all his stupid fault! She couldn't change that fact that she was small, just like he couldn't change that fact that he was big! **

**So, when Levy thought about things, ****_really _****thought about things, she knew, she was in a heap of trouble, because Gajeel had begun to become a little more nagging, and his hands roamed a little too far, and she didn't stop him in time sometimes, and before she knew it, she was half naked. And she'd have to slap him and tell him to wait, which he'd bitch about because ****_dammit _****all he ever did was wait. And it'd happen over and over again, and Levy knew, one day she'd just lose track of herself and find herself in a bad situation and this time she wouldn't be able to stop him. **

**Levy was in for some serious trouble. And although she was terrified of finding that she really was too small, she was kind of tired of waiting too. They'd been together forever, so what was the point in waiting? Yet, she still told him to wait, and he still got pissed, and on those rare few occassions when he and Natsu weren't fighting, he'd tell his fellow male all his woes, and then Natsu would slip little lies in his head, and then one day, he'd take what he'd want and Levy would find out that she was too small! GAH! Her mind was getting out of control! **

**Poor Levy realized that she was in a sticky situation. **


	24. Chapter 24

_**2012 didn't show us the Nalu kiss we've all been waiting for.**_

_**But don't worry my fellow Nalu shippers, I have a very strong feeling that 2013 will bring us many kisses, many happy memories, and so much more Nalu. **_

_**So don't pull your hair out when those two idiots don't kiss in the next episode. Because, it may not be today, or tommorow, but someday, we'll get what we want**_

**_so wait, Nalu shippers. Because 2013 is our year, and our day will come!_****  
-****_anonymous, Tumblr _**

**No more yaoi. **

There's one thing about fangirls that we all know. They're all a little...abnormal. (Don't feel bad. Being weird makes you unique among those hair flipping ahmygawd I love Justin Bieber or One Direction chicks that infect the whole entire planet) (If you're a One Direction or Justin Bieber fan, you better not do that hair flipping ahmygawd shit)

But seriously? Enough of the weird yaoi between Gray and Natsu. And Gajeel. Nowadays, why can't two healthy hot sexy guys have a rivalry without girls thinking their just aching to kiss each other? It happens a lot but it happens mostly with Gray and Natsu. Wow, I sound like such a party pooper. Am I trashing GrayxNatsu fans? No. (HELLO? I'VE TALKED ABOUT COURTESY BEFORE!) I just kinda find it weird ya know.

Don't get me wrong, I've had my yaoi pairings before.(GinxKira!) but, I never _shipped _them. I never once hard core thought that it'd be cute if they got together. They were just my guilty pleasures. But, to be frank, after overloading my mind with SO MUCH YAOI from Bleach, I've taken a backstep from the whole genre. I mean, Bleach just had so much boy-love. And the pictures and the fanfictions they wrote about it? _Very descriptive _(I mean, some of things I read, I didn't think was possible between two males, but hey, it happened).

Is GrayxNatsu a guilty plelasure for those who like that? I just don't understand how when Natsu calls Gray 'Ice Price' all the time, how that can signify love. There was that one time he told Lucy to shut up, but, he's never talked to Lucy that way before (If he did, I'd have to set him straight. You _do not _tell your future baby mama to shut up. I was mad at Natsu for like a week when he told Lucy to shut up! Ugh and for Lisanna's sake too! That was when Lisanna went on my hit list)

I understand Nali fans, I really do. The major reason why I don't support Nali is because Lucy's my girl, and she has such an amazing friendship with Natsu, and they have those tender moments between each other that makes my little shipper heart beat frantically. And also because, after the whole Edolas arc, Lisanna isn;t much of a character. And, if Hiro Mashima wanted to put Natsu with someone, it'd be Lucy. Because Natsu's character is major, and he can't just have some random flat-character girlfriend. We have to understand her, and we most definantly have to like her. You know, if Lisanna had been Natsu's little childhood girlfriend I could deal with that (no I can't. Its fucking Nalu all the way. Any other girl is just trash to me!)

Lolu fans out there? I'll admit this. Lolu is kinda my guilty pleasure. Heck yeah, Loke loves Lucy. He openly admitted it. And yes, him and Lucy look lovely together. But, It looks like Lucy only has eyes for a certain pink-haired fire breathing mage with a blue cat.

But GrayxNatsu! That makes me laugh! It's so funny! When I picture a conversation between Gray and Natsu it goes along these lines

(Gray is bolded, Natsu is normal)

Hey Ice Prick wanna fight?!

**Bring it on, I'm gonna beat you to the ground, Flame Brain**

And I most definantly do not picture this:

(Gray is bolded, Natsu is normal)

**I love you, Natsu, kiss me**

I love you Gray, kiss me

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

JUST NO.

It's NatsXLucy dammit

and its LyonxJuviaxGray dammit (let's face it, it doesn't look like Gray's getting out of that love traingle easily)

if somehow the whole entire universe went crazy and Mashima had shit for brains, and NatsuxGray happened, I would slam my laptop on a cement floor and just run away to Barbados. Not only would Juvia kill Gray, _I _would kill Gray, and _every fucking Gruvia fan, , Nali fan, and Nalu fan _would kill Gray. And then we'd all hunt down Natsu and kill him too. Just no.

Yaoi is awesome! It really is! I fully support gay rights, but, do Gray and Natsu look gay? (Must I say it again? GinxKira. But, for all of those who watched Bleach, we all know it was GinxRangiku forever and ever. Tite Kubo is like a disciple of Hiro Mashima because he killed Gin off, the most terrible thing that could happen to a ship. Are Tite Kubo and Hiro Mashima brothers or something because they have the same fucking mindset)

Oh and don't get me started on _Gajeel x Natsu _

that is simply:

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Have Gajeel and Natsu ever had a normal conversation together?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I think Gajeel would rather starve himself to death than date Natsu. But he wouldn't have to because all Gale fans and Nalu fans and Nali fans and for some random reason all Gruvia fans would kill him. I would personally have Gajeel's head.

Because we all know who the big four are:

NALU (worship, worship, worship)

JERZA (THEY'RE CANON.)

Gale (they're getting there.)

and Gruvia

Their the most loved couples on Fairy Tail(let's not forget about Elfmen and Evergreen here. And Alzack and Bisca, but those two are so canon, its ridicoulous)

. And what is the number one couple that MUST HAPPEN.

NALU NALU NALU NALU NALU NALLU NALU NALU NALU NALU NALU NALU NALU NALU NALU NALU

Dammit Mashima, just make it happen already!

Sorry NatsuxGray fans. I'm not hating! Definantly not hating here! I don't want any shipping wars!

Speaking of shipping wars, I would so join a Nalu vs Nali shipping war. I just so would. Not because you know, I wanna bash other peoples ships or anything, but I would be like that one soldier on the field that wouldn't die even If I had about a majillion bullet wounds in my chest, because that's how much I love Nalu. I'D BE GODZILLA!

Am I going to touch Yuri? No. becausse thats just not worth it. Nope not worth it at all.

Doe anyone want to know why I decided to do this subject today?

Because I found a very disturbing obcene picture of Natsu and Gray doing some thing to each other...it was revolting. Not the art (the art was pretty damn good).

Oh well, what can I say? I'm starting off the New Year in a ranting mood! An excellent way to begin your year!

Happy New Year

-Thinwrist

P.S. I've given up on my Christmas Specail. I'm just so lazy!Aw, and I stopped on the last ghost, Zeref. Oh well, you'll just have to imagine how it'd end. I'm just terrible.

P.P.S. I can feel it in my bones, there Is a Nalu moment coming up in the next chapter. Oh, I'll drown in feels. Hurry up and release the next chapter. Its the new year dammit! HURRRY UP! I can foreee a Jerza moment coming too because Erza just has to defend Jellal from that Kagura , and I can't wait to ee Minvera get her face kicked in. Bitch.

P.P.P.S From now on, I'll only update once or twice a week! Expect an update either on Thursdays or Mondays!

P.P.P.P.S Thanks to nalu-to-the-rescue for that awesome qoute I used in chapter 23!


	25. Chapter 25

Gajeel refused to be outdone by Salamander. He absaloutely refused to let that pink-haired freak one up him in _anything. _Why? Because he was a dragon-slayer, dammit, and he was the _best _Dragon Slayer. So, Gajeel wouldn't let Natsu do anything that he couldn't do better.

It turned into a kind of game between those two. Natsu knew that Gajeel wouldn't be left behind in the dirt, and he found it fun to compete with him. Sometiems Gray would get involved, but it wasn't really for him, so he just go lost.

It got so heated between both of them, that at some point, they'd started this whole little festival in the guild. People were taking sides, making bets. They were even selling merchandise. _Who will win? _One would say _Natsu, the Great Salamander, or Gajeel, the iron dragon? _

Gajeel didn't really care for the publicity. It was all about the fight, and who won, so that he could prove he was better.

They day came however, when Erza slammed her fist into both their heads and demanded that they end it with one final battle. That was alright with both Gajeel and Natsu, because they were both just aching to get at each other.

"Great!" shouted Natsu "Bring it on!"

Gajeel cracked his knuckles, standing up "Let's go, Salamander"

"Hold it!" shouted Erza. The whole guild went silent. Gajeel glared at Natsu, and Natsu glared at Lucy "You two will not annihilate the guild for us! Especailly since its so small! We're going to have to think of a different battle"

"WHAT?!" shouted Natsu, but Gajeel didn't care, because anything Salamnder could do, he could do it better.

So, he stood there, arms crossed, while Natsu tried to talk to that Titania lady about fighting him. He rubbed his jaw, and waited, because he was just so damn sure that he was going to win, no matter what. Suddenly, his eyes tugged him towards a little blue head. Oh, it was the Shrimp. She was sitting far away, with Buny Girl, both of them laughing and giggling together. Bunny Girl looked great in that little skirt she was wearing, and that shirt. His eyes went over to Levy, and he couldn't help admit, what she wore that day was pretty damn hot too. While he watched, he saw Bunny Girl lean in close to Levy, and whisper something, which made Shrimp blush, look his way, and turn away again. She then poked Bunny Girl in the chest and said something back. Bunny Girl turned a red that Gajeel had never seen before, and stuttured something. Still rubbing his jaw, he saw Bunny Girl look Natsu's way.

Ding, ding.

Lot's of people didn't think Gajeel was smart. Hell, he wasn't going to deny it. But, seeing the look on Bunny Girl's face had given him _the perfect _idea. And this, he knew he was going to win.

Turning back to Titania and Salamander, he slammed his fist on the table

"I got an idea" he said

Natsu blinked, staring up at him

"Oh yeah, what is it? See how much iron we can eat?" he sneered

"We tried that already" Gajeel said "No, I got a better idea. And it ain't gonna hurt nobody"

"What is it?" asked Erza.

"Gi hi" turning from Natsu, he whispered his plan to Erza

"Oh my" said Erza "Do you think that would...upset them?"

"Who cares?" replied Gajeel "as long as I win! And I know I'll win!"

"What is it?" asked Natsu

"Alright Salamander!" Gajeel said, prodding him in the chest "I got a plan. And you gotta follow through, and if you lose, I'm the best Dragon Slayer!"

"Like hell!" shouted Natsu "Bring it on! I'll do anything! I ain't gonna let you win!"

"Tell em', lady" Gajeel said to Erza. He cringed at the look she gave him, before she began

"Okay, Natsu. You both have three minutes to...um...kiss the girl who likes you. And if you don't know who that is, when three minutes is up, you lose"

Now, Gajeel didn't really know that Levy liked him, he couldn't really tell, but, he was guessing that she was the closest thing to a girl liking him. So he was going to go for Levy. Salamander would never guess Bunny Girl had a crush on him, because he was a dense idiot.

He'd expected Natsu to freak out.

"When do we start?" asked Natsu, his face calm and collected

Erza, who Gajeel couldn't believe was going with the plan, tapped her wrist "it starts..."

He leaned foreward, locking his eyes on his prey. He was so gonna win!

"Now."

He took off, running through the guild like he was crazy. He knew he was gonna win, he knew he was gonna win, he knew it!

When he heard breathing besides him, he was shocked. Looking at the look in Natsu's eyes, Gajeel put on speed.

"I'm gonna win!" he shouted

"Yeah right!" replied Natsu

"What girl would like you?!" he taunted

"Back at ya, freak!"

They were ten steps away from the girls. He saw Levy look up, saw her eyes widen. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Natsu spur on, shout "LUCY!" . He reached out his hand, which was now so close to Shrimp. He barely managed to stop.

"What th-" Levy began. She found herself yanked, pulled towards Gajeel.

Shrimp was small. Which wasn't much of a problem for Gajeel. He simply wrapped his arms around her waist, until he was lifting her up, hooked a finger under her chin, and did was felt natural.

When Lucy had seen Natsu coming her way, she knew something was up. And dragging Gajeel with him? She was suspicious. She had NOT been expecting this. Natsu had just come running up to her, grabbed her by the waist, yanked her to him, and they were kissing. She was lost for a second, wondering what the heck did he think he was doing, and she was going to kill him later, but suddenly having his lips on hers was perfect, and she was kissing him back.

Levy didn't really know whether to slap him, or to kick him, or to bite him, but kissing Gajeel was just way to sweet, and she suddenly couldn't get a good grip on her mind. She found herself wrapping her arms in his hair, feeling new feelings wake up in her that she didn't think she quite had.

When they pulled back for air, both girls took the oppurtunity to shove them away. Well, Lucy kinda slapped Natsu, and Levy kinda clawed Gajeel, but they both got away.

"You idiot!" shouted Levy "how dare you?!"

"Yoou idiot!" shouted Lucy "I oughta have Taurus beat you up!"

Both guys grinned, then, turning to one another, they shouted "I WIN!"

"NO I WIN, SALAMANDER. I KISS HER FIRST"

"You wish! I KISSED LUCY FIRST. I WIN!"

"No, I win!"

"I win!"

"I win!"

"Actually," came Erza's vioce, "you both kissed them at the same time. Its a stalemate"

"WHAT?!" came a unified shout

"This was..."began Levy

"A game?" finished Lucy

both guys turned to them "Uh..."

The look in Lucy's eyes told Natsu to run away. But since he was an idiot, he stayed

The look in Levy's eyes told Gajeel to disappear. But since he was an idiot, he was still visible.

"Uh...Lucy?" asked Natsu

"Shrimp?"

Lucy pulled at one of her keys "Open..." she mumbled "Gate of the Scorpion, Scorpio"

"We are!" Scorpio shouted, popping up from a mess of sand and dust

"Solid Script" mumured Levy "Earth"

A rock the size of a table appeared above Gajeel's head

"Sand buster!" shouted Scorpio, aiming his tail at Natsu

When they both awoke some time later, the girls were gone, and the guild was still in the process of being cleaned up. Rubbing his head, Gajeel sat up

"Ow. I'm lucky I'm made oughta iron"

"You are" came a vioce, sweeping the floor, around a Gajeel-sized hole, Gray scowled

"Geez, couldn't you guys have kissed them outside?" he scowled at Gajeel

"Yes" said Erza, who was picking up the pieces of what used to be the guild's best table "You nearly had them wreck the guild. I knew I should've gone with a fashion show"

Natsu sat up "Ow..."

"Oy, Salamander"

"What?" replied Natsu

"We're still not done!"

"Name your challenge, I'll beat ya!"

"Whoever can apologize first wins! And is the best Dragon Slayer!"

Natsu jumped to his feet "Bring it on!"

Gajeel was on his feet "We've got ten minutes!" he said "starting now"

and they were off.

Erza sighed "Don't they ever learn?"

Gray bent down, picking up one of Natsu's teeth "apparently not"

* * *

Authors Note: Yes, Gale and Nalu! Yep!


	26. Chapter 26

_**Sitting in socail studies class the other day, and my teacher asked **_

"_**What sinks a ship?"**_

_**and a boy raised his hand and answered **_

"_**when other ships have canons."**_

_**-Tumblr, anonymous**_

What's Up With The Heat?

Fangirls...

Fangirls...

Fangirls...

What seems like eons ago, I found myself proud to say that I was not a shipper nor did I not dwelve in that whole little mad world of 'ohmygawdhetouchedhertheymust gettogethernow!'. Hyprocritacally, I will stick to that claim, because before Nalu I did not ship crap. I _liked _some people together, and whatnot, but I did not have an avid love for them. Nope, no shipping for me. It's all Fairy Tail's fault. Aw, heck, I'm a shipper. I don't care. Call me what you want; I don't care, it doesn't matter to me.

But, excuse me if this offends anyone...

Natsu, Gajeel, Sting, Rogue, Laxus, and Wendy are not animals. They are not dogs. They do not go in 'heat'. WHAT IS THIS?

Okay. Now, again, I don't mean to offend anyone, truly I don't, but I just find fanfics involving heat _really_ weird. The only way ANY Dragon Slayer would go into heat, and ehem...rape...sexaully assault...all the good stuff...thier 'mate' was if they were born directly from a dragon. Even if they weren't, they'd have to have some genetic connection to a dragon, or animal, to go into heat. It's just really weird when I stumble upon fanfics involving 'mating season' 'heat'. (my first thought is _oh shit, not this again.) _Just because they have powers like a dragon doesn't mean that they will one random day grab the love of their life and spend three straight days humping them silly. _Just no. _I can go pretty far with Fanfictions, I've even managed to stomach M rated stuff, but I won't have...Mating Season. Just no! It's weird. I shouldn't read them, and I do my best to avoid them because they freak me out, but damn,there are just sooooo many! And woah, are they descriptive.

Example:

_And he nibbled on her ear lobe, suckling gently on the skin, and his hips were swiviling, and she was..._

I can't do. I just couldn't finish that. You might think what with all the cussing and insults I put in this blogish thing that I'd be all about the porn. Sometimes I am, but 80% of the time, I'm not. How far do I want Nalu to go? I want them to kiss _right in front of my face _just so that I know they happened, and then I want to see babies. I do _not _wanna see the process taken to make said babies, and Mavis, I don't want _to know _what Gajeel did to Levy! (probably nothing, because Levy's too classy to just give it up like that)

I guess I'm just not hardcore enough.

But, seriously, why?! I feel so bad for those poor Dragon Slayers and what they're put through...even though I enjoy reading most of them! Hah, hah, the life of a shipper.

Speaking of dirty M-rated things and lemons..._so many _O-O

Just so many. And they can get really _into it. _I shouldn't read them, but some of them can be misleading! There summaries are such misleaders!

Example:

_What does Natsu have in the little box for Lucy? _

And only after my brains been permantly scarred with what Natsu had in that box for Lucy, do I realize that shit, I read another lemon. It's my own fault to, I just don't read the warning. Sigh, oh well. Its not like I'd be mean enough to stop writers from expressing in _great detail what Lucy did to Natsu once she found what was in that little box. _

There are some M-rated things I can stomach. Like, the one's that kinda go like this:

_When Mira found Natsu's scarf at the bar, she wondered where he was. It wasn't like the fire mage to leave his precious possession around so carelessly. When she asked Gray to give it to him, she had not been expecting his hasty return. The look on his face was pasty and pale, and his eyes were wide. _

"_What's wrong Gray?"she asked_

"_S-Storageroom"he stuttured _

"_What do you mean? What's in the storageroom?"_

"_W-Well. I heard some things...wierd things, mira...vioces that sounded a lot like Natsu...and...and...and Lucy"_

_At this, Mirajane's ear pricked up. Anything involving her two favorite mages was worth her attention. Especailly since she was really hoping they'd get together. What could she say? They were just really cute togther. And she'd love to see the day they finally did get together, because she did think that they were bound to happen. _

"_Oh?" she stopped scrubbing the counter of the bar "What did you overhear?"_

"_Well," Gray leaned against the counter for support, since he was apparently about to faint "I heard...Flame Brain say 'like this?' and then Lucy replied 'No, no that hurts'"_

"_Oh, Gray" Mira chided "That's nothing to get overworked about." she was disappointed that he'd freaked over nothing _

"_No! No!" Gray said "I'm not done! Then I heard F-Flame Brain tell her 'it's way to tight Lucy', and then Lucy told him 'to go in smoothly or she'd bleed', and then Mira, there was moaning!"_

_She stopped scrubbing altogether. Her heart galloped, and she felt a blush creep over her cheeks. Oh dear, their relationship had progressed farther than she'd thought. Could it be true? There was only one explanation for such talk between the Celestail Spirit Mage and the Fire Mage...but could it be? Natsu, who she'd watched grow up along with her, who never even once _looked _at a girl in _that _way was...she shook such perverted thoughts from her head. She was going to try to deny it_

"_That was all you heard?" she asked_

_Gray gave her a look that was full of pain "I couldn't move. I wish I did, because then I wouldn't have heard the next part, but I did! Lucy was like 'oh, it feels great. Keep going, faster!' and there was more moaning, and then there was like this big bump and something fell, and Lucy said 'look what you did! You knocked something over...geez, you got overworked. Put it back in, we're done here, Natsu' and then Flame Brain said 'why? I can fix it !Come on, I'm not done!"_

_Mira's cheeks blazed. Oh my, oh my, oh my. Things _were_ getting heavy between those two. _

"_Are you sure?"_

"_I'm positive it was Natsu and Lucy back there, just as I'm positive that Freed has a Laxus fetish!" Gray moaned, slamming his head against the counter. She understood how he felt, because she too, with no matter how much evidence, could not believe what was going on _

"_What do I do, Mira?"_

_she smiled "Nothing of course. Pretend like it never happened"_

"_You don't understand! There was moaning, Mirajane! Moaning and bumping...and geez! Gah! It's in my mind!"_

_Before she could reply, a head of pink hair stomped up to the bar. Natsu smiled, and plucked his scarf from Gray's hands. He looked really...really...really...happy. _

"_Hey, you found my scarf! Thanks!"_

_Gray gave Natsu a terrified look_

"_Natsu" Mirajane asked "Where's Lucy?"_

"_She's cleaning up"_

_if Gray could get paler, he did. _

"_F-from what?"Gray asked, then bit his lip. Mirajane, although she smiled, felt her heart speed up. If they were doing _that _she'd have to set Natsu straight. What kind of man did _that _in a storage room?! _

_Natsu wrapped his scarf around his neck. Moment later, Lucy came limping inside the guild. _

_Limping. She was walking weird. _

_Gray passed out. _

_Natsu gave Gray a weird loo "What's wrong with him? Is he sick! Hah, what a pussy!"_

_Mirajane winced. "Natsu, why were you and Lucy in the storage room?" she outright asked him because she couldn't take it. She felt that she'd pass out too _

"_What? Oh that. You see, Lucy was hurt during a mission and she said that if Erza saw her all beat up she'd come after me, not like I was scared or nothing, but I helped patch her up before Erza found out-Mirajane?"_

_Mirajane smiled, then, promptly keeled over and fainted too. _

I love those! And hah! I stuck a one-shot in. Sue me. (you'd get nothing but a lazy technology-hooked bookworm with a sarcastic sense of humor and a morbid imagination!) There too cute

Oh well. I can't stop pervy people from writing pervy fanfics, but, seriously, what's up with the heat?

On other matters, the fucking manga hasn't been updated. I'm near death here, Trollshima! Death! I can see the light! Where's my FUCKING MANGA!

Sigh. This waiting is killing me. Fairwelle, and hope I survive until tommorow. I NEED MY NALU!

FAIRY TAIL UNTIL EXISTENCE CEASES TO EXIST

-Thinwrist


	27. Chapter 27

_-__**You realize we spend our days hoping that two imaginary people will kiss right? **_

_**OH WELL. **_

_**ITS MY LIFE.**_

_**-Tumblr, anonymous**_

They've Gone TOO Far.

Warning: If you are one of those few people who HAVEN'T read chapter 313 and watched Episode 163, you're NOT allowed to read this because this is basically ALL spoilers. So go away, shoo, shoo, and don't come back until your up to date with the rant that I am about to spew!

Commencing...

They've gone too far. They have seriously gone too far

Holy shit, has anyone watched episode163. _the fanservice. _Geez, it was heavy. But I loved it (and for all those who whine about the fanservice, shove a rock up your ass. Seriously, just enjoy the damn show).

It was so ridicously funny, and cheesy, and...perverted. But I don't care about that because that's the usual Fairy Tail anyway. No, what bugs the shit outta me is _the couples. _

You see? Episodes like 163 prove that Hiro Mashima and his whole little crew of OTP life ruiners are _trolls. _Absaloute Trolls (I thought Tite Kubo was a troll? Man, he has nothing on Trollshima)

The couples that were in it:

Elfmen and Evergreen

Gajeel and Levy

Lyon and Juvia

Gray and Juvia

Ren and Sherry

Happy and Carla

Natsu and Lisanna

Lucy and Loke

Natsu and Lucy.

It was all too much. I kinda alfjdnskjfnskdjfns for a second when I saw that episode, because it was hilarious. But damn.

Oh, and when they were doing that 'wedding theme' part, and I saw _everyone _pairing up, but NO Jellal and Erza I was like WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT? I mean, you have Gray and Lyon fighting over Juvia (I support Gruvion, fellows. It's GrayxJuviaxLyon. It's not a kinky thing. It just means I want it to stay a love traingle) Happy and Carla getting together, Lucy and Loke getting together (oh, that pissed me off. When I saw that, I wanted to plant my foot in Loke's ass, even though I love him) Natsu and that Lisanna girl (no, no. Lisanna's a sweety, and I like her, but back the fuck up) and NO JELLAL AND ERZA. And they were right there too. I suppose he couldn't take off his mask, but Erza and Jellal in wedding theme would've sent me over the edge...which is why I think the anime left it out. (TROLLSHIMA YOU TROLLLLLL!)

Eh, Fairy Tail does a little too much fanservice. But in the end, it WAS WORTH IT. But then that wrinkly old grandma has to ruin it with her 'lady goodies'.

FUCK! THAT EPISODE REALLY DID A NUMBER ON ME.

I mean, seriously. Lucy in a wedding dress WITH NO PARTNER, and then Loke just pops out of NO FUCKING WHERE and says 'let's get married'.

ME:...

three seconds later

ME: NOOOOOOOOO. I LOVE YOU LOKE, BUT GET THE HELL OUTTA THERE. NO ONE NEEDS YOU GO AWAY. LET HER BECOME NATSU'S PARTNER DAMMIT GO AWAY. GO AWAY. GO AWAY.

Oh and then Lisanna comes running up to Natsu. And then Natsu dares has the gall to comment on her dress. And meanwhile, Loke's just like carrying Lucy and whatnot...

ME: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?

And then, because those animators are abaloute trolls and they enjoy ripping my little shipper heart out, Loke bumps into Natsu with Lucy in his arms, he dissapears, and Lisanna's little 'Ilovenatsu' speech is cut off.

ME: YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT ITS NALU. BITCHES.

That episode was horrible and lovely at the same time. (heh, heh. Even though Mirajane and Freed have like a 1% of getting together, I kinda wanted to see him there with her)

it killed me.

You see this is why Mashima is a troll. With this kinda shit he pulls, its amazing we all aren't dead.

OH AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON CHAPTER 313.

Fuck. All we got was shit (and some casual ass grabbing by Natsu) from that chapter. WE LEARNED NOTHING (it looks like I'm in love with caps lock today, doesn't it?)

AND THEN FUTURE LUCY PASSES OUT. AND ERZA AN KAGURA DON'T DO SHIT.

MASHIMA YOU TROOOLLLLLLLOOLOLOLOLOLLOLOL 

Dammit, I waited a solid three weeks for an update and all I got was my heart broken. I kinda hate Fairy Tail now (not hardcore I-wanna-kill-everything-you-love hate. Just soft resentment to them for BEING SO AWESOME)

And guess what? There going to keep pulling that kind of shit until we're dead. Or insane. Or both. Either way, they want to HURT US.

Oh well. For the sake of love, I'll endure it.

But seriously, after watching episode 163 ITS TIME FOR SOME LETTERS.

**Dear Elfmen and Evergreen, **

Freed and Bickslow know it. Just get together already. This is getting old.

-Thinwrist.

**Dear Gajeel, **

You bastard! What the fuck was that shit you pulled off? I mean, Levy was in a wedding dress, and what were you doing? Lounging on your ass pretending you didnt care. DAMMIT GAJEEL, I know you're a tsundere, BUT STOP IT. I mean, did you see how she looked at you? TOO CUTE. If it were possible, I would've jumped in that screen and twisted your neck around until YOU LOOKED AT HER. You'd probably be dead, but at least your eyes would be on her. That pissed me off. You know you like her. Baka!  
-Thinwrist

**Dear Levy, **

I'm sorry. I truly am. You looked so amazingly cute in that dress, and like, you were hoping he'd ask you, and he didn't. I'm sorry. He's such an idiot; they all are. Oh butsly do. when it comes to fighting, there all about that. _Idiots. _Don't worry Levy, Gajeel will come around! By force if we have to!

-Thinwrist

**Dear Gray, Juvia, and Lyon**

I saw what you did there, Gray, taking Juvia from Lyon. Oh well, its not like I mind.

Gruvi-ON!

-Thinwrist.

**Dear Loke**

I love you Loke, I seriouly do. But, when you interrupted what could've been an epic Nalu moment, I wanted to plant my foot in your ass then bury you six feet under, then dig you up, beat you up, and then make you look at Ichiya-sama's face for THREE HOURS. A cruel punishment? no. not compared to what half the fandom of Fairy Tail would've done to you. You should've stayed in the damn astral plane. You weren't needed.

But I love you.

Hugs and kisses, and knives,

-Thinwrist

**Dear Lisanna,**

Oh, sweet Lisanna I wanted to burn your face off with a fire torch. You're a really nice girl, and I actually like you're character, (even if you are on my hit list. You're public enemy number #1. just so ya know) but you came at Natsu with that happy 'ithinki'llkiss you' face, oh geez, I freaked out, cried a little, and then malicioscly prayed for an asteriod or anima to take you BACK to edolas. Then I felt bad because I shouldn't hate on such a sweetie. Then I didn't care because that sweetie was threatning nalu. Then I felt bad for thinking that, because you ARE a sweetie, and its not fair to hate on you. Oh well, I still like you. I like you when you're not threatning nalu. When you are threatning nalu, i'm frantically looking around for the GLOCK. But you really are nice, and I liked it how you just smiled when you saw that you had nothing on nalu. You went up in my list (that doesnt take you off the hit list though)

Hugs, kisses, and knives,

-Thinwrist

**Dear Lucy, **

Honey, what the hell? What the hell were you doing standing there looking cute in that wedding dress, when Natsu was like wide open. YOU SHOULD'VE RUN TO HIM (of course I would've deid, but my days are numbered anyway, so I'd be cool with that)JUST DAMN IT TO HELL, LUCY. You think a girl, who dresses like you do, and wears the underwear that you wear, would be less naïve. Sigh, I don't know what to do with you. But I was happy when you bumped into Natsu, and interrupted Lisanna.

Perfect timing

-Thinwrist

_**Dear Natsu, **_

I'm not even wasting my time on you. You're the most oblivious bastard I ever met, and I think you're hot. Thats all.

-Thinwrist

**Dear Panther Lily, **

I saw you with Asuka-chan. (my man, a true cougar, going for the young girls eh?)

but, seriously, Lily. I think you're a couple years too old for her, and Bisca and Alzack would kill you

-Thinwrist

**Dear Jellal, **

WHERE WERE YOU? ALL THOSE GIRLS IN BIKINI'S AND SCHOOL GIRL UNIFORMS, AND FUCKING BONDAGE AND YOU WERE NO WHERE TO BE FOUND. AND THEN, THE WEDDING DRESS THEME. WHAT THE FUCK. WHY WERENT YOU ERZA'S PARTNER. DAMMIT JELLAL!

She was in _bondage _for pete's sake. BONDAGE. And she killed it. Why were you nowhere to be found? (maybe you had to go handle something in the restroom)

I wanted to see you and Erza in that wedding theme. I hate you, Jellal. You piss me off daily with this shit.

Yet I still love you.

-Thinwrist

But seriously, what was up with all the fanservice? Oh well, maybe they were trying to easen the mood because shits about to get serious pretty damn soon. Ah, Fairy Tail. You cause me so much pain and love.

Until next week, readers.

FAIRY TAIL UNTIL EXISTENCE CEASES TO EXIST

-Thinwrist


	28. Chapter 28

_**This is a Hunter's game. **_

* * *

_****_**The Hunter. **

When he'd heard that Fairy Tail girls were the best, he hadn't been sure. But _man, _he'd been wrong.

He'd dated many girls in the past. He'd never really cared much for the one's he'd bothered to date; he hadn't been looking to keep them. No, that wasn't his game. Some of the girls he'd been with hadn't actually been his girlfriends. Just his quick one night stands that had spiraled out of control; he only wanted to be with them that one night, and when the night was over, he simply let them go. Most of them understood. But some of the girls just didn't get what 'I think we should see other people' meant.

Commitment, dating, marriage, just plain staying with any girl longer for a week was too much for him. He just couldn't. He wasn't looking for Mrs. Right. Hell, he was trying to avoid her at all costs. It was all part of his game, all part of being a Hunter.

But staring at the girls in this guild, he suddenly wanted to change his mind. _Any _of them were good enough for him; they were all different, but they were delicious. They were easily the crème de la crème of all the girls he'd ever lusted after, and he wanted to love each and every one of them. If he landed himself with even one of these girls, he'd consider himself a lucky bastard.

Standing at the door step of the guild, he tried to choose which one to go after first. He wished he could have them all, and filled his minds with the fantasies of all those babes just being his. Mm, a harem; that would be heaven. He shook his head however. No, if he was going to work his way through the ladies of Fairy Tail, he was going to have to start off picking them off one by one.

The Hunter's eyes settled on a petite girl, with blue hair, wrapped in a head ban, sitting all by her lonesome self in the small guild. She was cute, fragile boned, and lacked the bust of many of the girls in the guild. But that was alright, because as his eyes slid over her body, he saw that she had hips. He could do without the breasts. He decided he was going to start with her. He lingered a little while, studying her. In his game, it was always crucial to observe his prey. Once you knew them a bit, it was easy to go for the kill. Based on the book in her hand, and the smile she wore on her face, he was guessing she was a bookworm. Probably shy, nerdy, and easily flustered. She most likely never had a boyfriend, and if she did, she'd never probably been kissed. He licked his lips; he was planning on doing more than kissing her.

He began walking towards her, smoothly, and slickly, brushing off his clothes and plastering a smile on his face. This was going to be easy.

A dark form passed in front of him, cutting off his hunt. He stepped back, wondering what just cut him off. When his eyes settled back on the girl, however, another guy was there. He swallowed; he didn't work his game when other males were there. He waited, hoping that the male would leave.

The guy was tall, way bigger than the tiny blue haired girl. He was muscular, and had long untamed black hair. He looked like the cross of a gearhead and a punk rocker. His face was set in a scowl, and the way he talked to her was brusque and snippy.

The Hunter smiled to himself. This guy was no threat to his game; such a sweet, shy looking girl would never go for a metal head like him.

The Hunter's theory was shattered however, when he saw the guy sit besides her and peer over her shoulder at the book she was reading. She scowled up at him, and his scowl turned into a smile. Quick as a flash, he pecked her on the cheek, and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. The blue haired girl leaned into the metal head, smiling now too.

He backpedaled, stopping his hunt. Obviously she was taken, and he did not want to mess with that metal head guy. He knew Fairy Tail was rumored for having some pretty strong fighters, and he surely didn't want to have his face smashed in for the sake of one little bookworm.

He shrugged it off, because there were lots of other babes in this guild he could go after. Just because he got cock blocked once, didn't mean he was going to get cock blocked again…because seriously, not all the girls in this guild could be taken right?

He scanned the room again, searching for a new victim. His eyes settled on the bar, where a beautiful bombshell was waitressing a man with green hair. The man himself wasn't interesting; his hair was ridiculously long for a guy, and he wore a serious, astute face, and had a humorless smile tugging at the edge of his lips. No, he had eyes for the waitress. Her hair fell in long white waves around a small, round face. Her smile was soft and warming, like the sun on a cold winter day. Her eyes were big and round, and the color of the sky outside. The dress she wore hugged her soft curves and large breasts.

This was definantly his next target. He already knew what his plan was going to be; he'd been with more than one bartender. They were easy pickings. He took the first step, readying himself, preparing the sugary words that he would use on her.

The green haired man called to her, and she turned. He stood, and said something. His face didn't show any emotion, but he leaned across the table, and touched her hand, bringing it up to his lips. He kissed it gently, and the white haired beauty blushed.

The hunter frowned. Damn, she was taken too. And eyeing the rapier at the green haired man's side, he was surely not going after her either. He was not in the mood to be skewered.

But he wasn't dejected. He would only have to try harder. His eyes roamed the room now, skipping over the little dark blue haired girl sitting with two cats. She was too young for him; maybe, in three years or so, she'd be ready, but right now, he couldn't go after her. The hunter saw a brown haired woman sitting on a table, dressed only in a bra and trousers, holding a large keg of beer in her hand. She was pretty alright, and she had the right body too, but he noticed that a big towering man sat beside her. He didn't look like her boyfriend, and based on the way he was fawning over her, he reminded him of a father. Oh hell no, he was not going to go messing with daddy's girl.

Okay, okay. So, four girls were out for the count. He still wasn't dejected; there were other fishes in the sea, and many fishes in Fairy Tail. Sooner or later, he was sure, he was going to catch the right one.

Locking his eyes on yet another bluenette, he rubbed his jaw. She was, like many girls in this guild, cute and pretty, with a great bust, an awesome body, and a cute smile. Her hair was kept in rolls near the tip, and she wore a little blue hat on top of her head. Hmm….she wasn't really his type, but, hell, he didn't really have a type and she was totally bang-able. He slinked his way towards her, sitting besides her at the table she was at.

"Hello" he said

"Hello." She replied, not too warmly, yet not to coldly

"You know, I couldn't help notice, that blue really suits you" he said, making sure to add a seductive lilt to his voice.

The slight blush that crept on her cheeks was all the confirmation that he needed. He was working his game on her.

"Thank you" she replied "Juvia's favorite color is blue."

"Juvia eh? That's a lovely name. my name's E-"

The Hunter was cut off suddenly. A man, with a crop of white hair, dropped out of no damn where, and scooped Juvia in his arms.

"O-Oh, Lyon-sama! When did you get here?" Juvia stuttered. The white haired man held Juvia to his chest, cradling her like a precious flower "I just dropped by to say hello, my sweet sweet, sweet Juvia" he answered

The Hunter frowned. This Lyon guy was obviously in love with Juvia; his hope however blossomed when he saw the look on her face. She wasn't interested. Good, that was good. He stood, ready to save Juvia from the clutches of this Lyon guy, when again, it rained another man. He was black haired, and strangely clad in boxers.

Oh great, an exhibitionist.

"Hey, bastard! Let her go" he ordered

"Gray-sama!"

The look on Juvia's face when she looked at the exhibitionist's face said it all. She was in love with him. The Hunter groaned inwardly; great, this was a love triangle. And he was in no mood to turn the love triangle into a love square. She wasn't worth going up against these guys. He left them to fight over her.

He sat himself at an empty table, far away from the guild members. His vexation was growing now, because he'd just lost four potential girls (not including the little girl) to five different guys. This was not cool. He had never felt so flustered in his life. He was good at his game, damn it all, and he wasn't going to give up so easily. This was no longer a game anymore really. It was a hunt, and he was going to catch some sort of prey.

His eyes settled on a woman, dressed in a green tube dress. Glasses perched on her haughty nose, and her hair, which was a soft caramel color, fell around her shoulders. He knew her type; snobby, haughty, and vain on the outside, soft and mellow on the inside. He considered going after her, but when _yet another man_ sat beside her, he gave up. The man was twice his size anyway, and he looked like that bartender. The Hunter was a lover, not a fighter.

He locked on another woman, with long green hair, and a cowboy hat. She was hot, but he noticed a small kid perched on her lap. fuck, he wasn't going to screw a woman with a child. Because a child most likely meant a father, and a father meant a husband, and a husband meant trouble. Just thinking about it gave him the willy-nillies.

He saw yet another white haired girl, who looked like the bartender. Her hair however was short and cropped.

Could this perhaps, be the one?

His hopes were smashed instantly when, fuck it all, some freak wearing some weird armor scooped her off her feet.

Okay, okay. So, a lot of these chicks were taken. He could deal with that.

He almost overlooked the redhead who sat so perfectly at a table. Oh, she was a looker. Downright beautiful. And he knew who she was, out of all these girls, she was Titania herself. Erza Scarlet. Sweat beaded on his forehead, and he licked his lips. She was probably the ultimate kill. If he could get in Titania's pants, he'd swear off chicks forever, because he was sure there was heaven in between those legs. She still wore that armor of hers, but it only made her look hotter. She had her legs crossed, and damn, her skirt was too long to look up, but it was alright. Her legs alone were enough to drive him wild. She was eating cheesecake, which he just yearned to feed her through mouth to mouth. Oh, if he could get a girl like Erza, he'd be the luckiest bastard alive.

He stopped, clearing his mind. He was going to have to skirt carefully around a woman like her; he'd heard many rumors about what had happened to the men who had tried to make a move on her. He was not going to be her latest victim.

No, a woman like Erza Scarlet was a hard challenge. He didn't know exactly what type she was: Shy, Smart, Bitchy, Slutty…..he couldn't tell. He was going to have to summon all his prowess and skill, all the experience he had learned over the years. This was going to be his hardest challenge ever! There was only two options with a woman like her. Success or Failure, and right then, he refused to fail, he was The Hunter and this was his game. He was going to get her, and he was going to win. His heart hammered in his chest, for he had found himself the ultimate prey.

He stood, the blood rushing throughout his body. His vision focused on her and her alone. Each step had to be carefully calculated, for if he moved too fast, she would suspect something, and if moved too slowly she would suspect something. Everything had to be perfect, he had to be careful, or it would all fall apart and the hunt would be lost. He licked his lips, checked his breathe, made sure _not a hair _was out of place. He was two steps away, one step away, the next step would bring him directly to her. She looked up, smiled, a smile that felt like lightning was singing his veins. He smiled back, opened his mouth to say the first two words, and she opened hers.

"Jellal."

He froze. Jellal was not his name. Turning around, he noticed that someone had been behind him. This guy, with his freaky royal blue hair, and tattoo scared him. His solemn eyes moved towards Erza and he moved around his obstacle.

The Hunter backpedaled, making it look like he was heading in the opposite direction. Over his shoulder, he saw the blue haired guy sit close besides her. He saw Erza's face melt into a loving look. He felt his heart crumble, and his determination brake. He wanted her to look that way at him, he wanted her to touch him the way she just touched that Jellal man. He wanted her to lean close and kiss him like she was doing now! He had lost his ultimate prey to a man with blue hair!

He felt ashamed. All these babes, and he hadn't landed himself one. Sorrow, bitterness, shame all washed over him. It wasn't fair. How the hell could they all be taken? This was his game, damn it all, and he'd never, not once, lost his prey!

In his sorrow, he didn't see the blonde bump into him. They collided, and she landed on the floor

"Ow." She groaned, holding her back.

"Oh, I'm sorry" he said, leaning down to help her.

When he got a good look at her face, he immediately wondered if an angel was missing from heaven. His breathe shallowed, and his hands grew clammy as he wrapped them around her hand and helped her to her feet.

She was cute to a degree of being nearly disgusting. Large, chocolate eyes filled her face. She smiled at him, and the smile lit the room. She wore a sleeveless blue and white halter top, and a short black skirt. Her rack was huge, yet her figure was trim and amazing. Lord, those hips! And her legs! Her skin felt cool beneath his own, and he realized he must've looked like some sweaty weirdo. He cooled it down, fast, and used his best smile.

He wanted this girl. Wanted her badly. Titania was forgotten immediately; Jellal could have her. No, this cute little blonde _angel _was his, and he was sure about it. No other guy was getting her, and that was that. New determantion swelled up inside him, filling him to the brim. He'd never wanted to love a woman like this one. He was going to keep her forever, make her his bride, and have thirty babies with her. Every day, he was going to kiss her and tell her he loved her. He was going to make her the happiest thing alive. He'd never wanted to settle down, but with this girl, he was ready to stay with her for eternity

"What's your name, angel?" he asked

She blushed and it was the cutest thing he ever saw. Kittens, rolling around in little hot dog suits, being chased by puppies and babies had nothing on her blush.

"Oh." She said, breathless "L-Lucy."

He held her hand tighter, caressing it.

"I know this is sudden" he said, bringing her hand to his lips "But, I think I'm in l-"

His words were cut off by the loudest, most obnoxious cry of "LUCCCYYYYY!" he'd ever heard. He was immediately revolted, wondering how on earth could anyone say her name in such a vulgar, callous way.

A second later, a flash of pink and blue collided with him and Lucy. When he opened his eyes, he was on the floor, blinking up at a blue cat.

"Aye" it chirped "Watch where your going, mister"

And with that, it shot up in the air, little white wings unfurling from its back. It speed off with a high pitched cry of "Carla!"

The Hunter sat up, rubbing his back. He gritted his teeth, wondering what clumsy bumbling fool just interrupted his hunt! He wasn't ready to fight, but whatever ass hole had stopped him from getting his Lucy was about to have a foot shoved up his ass! He stood, trying to regain his dignity.

What he saw nearly made him keel over. Lucy, his beautiful, sexy Lucy was pinned beneath some scruffy looking guy with pink hair.

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Natsu that hurts, get off of me! Ow! Ow! Ow!" Lucy whined

Anger filled his chest. Whatever this guy's plan was, it certainly was not going to interfere with _his _plan. He already had many things planned out for Lucy, and he planned on doing lots of things to her once he got her in bed, and he was not going to let some pink haired punk stop him. With casual abbrasiveness, he leaned down coolly, and shoved the guy away. Holding out his hand, he helped Lucy to her feet.

"Are you alright?" he whispered, holding the pale delicate fingers of his love within his own hand

She blushed again, and he swore he was going to lose his head

"I-I'm fine" she replied, flustured

He cleared his throat, ready to announce his love again

"Oi, Lucy, are you done with this lover boy? Let's go back to your place!"

A vien popped in The Hunter's head.

No...

It couldn't be...

Lovely, beautiful, goddess Lucy could not possibly be in love with some cheeky...

"Yeah, give me a second, Natsu" the way she said his name wasn't different. There was nothing to suggest that she loved that little mutt behind him. The Hunter hoped that it wasn't true, he hoped that they were just nakama.

She gently untangled her fingers from his "It was nice to meet you" she said and flashed him that pretty little smile of hers. His heart melted.

He couldn't move, he couldn't breathe. Before his very eyes, the mutt and Lucy walked away. He placed an arm around her waist, pulling her to him, and she laughed. When they dissapeared, he stood there, mouth agape.

That was it. That was the last straw. His game, his hunt, was over. All around him, every fucking girl in Fairy Tail was taken. He gathered the last bits of dignity he thought he had, tried to be cool and slick with it, and hurried the hell out of there. He swore he'd never darken the footsteps of Fairy Tail ever again. He threw one last resentful look at every guy in Fairy Tail and cursed those lucky son of a bitches to the Underworld.

Outside the sky was blue, like the pretty waitresses eyes. The flowers were dancing rainbows of baby blue, like the bookworms hair. As he walked down the road, he noticed that a little baby had the same color hair as Juvia. The world was filled with brown, and green, like the girls back at Fairy Tail. When he scratched himself by accident, he noticed that the blood welling up from his hand was red, red like Titania's hair. And the sun, the golden halo of yellow sun, was the same color as Lucy's hair. He was very near on the verge of crying because he'd lost his hunt that day.

What really sent him over the hedge was when he rounded a corner in Magnolia, along the river snaking around it, he noticed Lucy, pinned to a wall, her lips pressed to that mutts face. At this sight, he cursed the Heavens and the Hells, and collapsed on the ground.

He'd never be a Hunter again.

A little way away, hidden in a little alley way, Natsu pulled away from Lucy

"What the hell is that guy's problem? Did he just yell something about God or something?" he knodded to the man who had just collapsed on the street

"I don't know" replied Lucy.

Natsu shrugged "Oh well, it's not my problem." and he leaned in closer, pressing his lips back to hers.

The End.

* * *

**Authors Note: ...aren't I the worst? I seriously however must thank the author of The Ladies Man for giving me the idea for this story. Read it yourself, it was pretty funny. I had so much fun writing this. And yeah, I only did MirajanexFreed because I needed her to be with someone and I only did LisannaxBixlow because I needed her with someone. Gahh! I wasn't supposed to update yet! Oh well, this was a MUST to be updated. Tell me how you liked it, I really wanna hear! And holy Mavis, look how many reviews and favs I already got! This makes me feel special!**


	29. Chapter 29

-_**I will go down with this ship**_

_**anonymous**_

**The line between Loyalty and Worshipping. **

Hah, I guess I should address this, because a many of my faithful readers have so truly pointed out that not only do I ship Nalu, I bow down to Nalu, but I also make daily sacrifices on a to Nalu. Yes, yes, in simple terms I worship Nalu.

And...um, I can try and say that worshipping involves complicated dogma's and whatnot, and a diety or something worth worshipping, but hell no, I won't deny it. I WORSHIP Nalu. Isn't that what we all do? Anyone ever notice that in Worship, there is the word ship? That means WE ALL DO IT. From religious people worshipping their gods to that crazy guy down the block who worships the vioce in his head. We all do it.

My love for Nalu is a bit on borderline insanity, that I will admit. I love it to death, and I will etch this into my very heart, I WILL GO DOWN WITH THIS SHIP. Nothing, and I mean nothing, not even father time, will change that. I will be an old woman with saggy boobies and a husband and I will continue to ship Nalu. My future children with Gray will ask me what the hell anime is and I will proudly proclaim in my old age that I SHIP NALU.

Seriously though, it's true. I will worship Nalu even after I have been stuffed in a casket and my bones rot away from decay and there is nothing left of me on this world or in this universe. I've been considering having written somewhere on my tombstone 'NatsuxLucy forever' (that's a bit extremem however huh?). I understand this is weird, but I'm all about the weird, I aim to be like no one, and Nalu happens to be one of the many things my Obssessive Possessive personality wants. And I have a canny way of getting whatever I want, no matter what.

So, I'm sticking to Nalu forever and forever and ever and ever and ever. I will go down with that ship, no matter WHAT, and it is possibly one of my morals of life. Haha, there was this conversation I had with my two friends that reminds me of this. (one of them is a sane minded person just like me and they ship nalu. The other doesn't know what to choose, and I've been trying to convert her to Nalu. I've even threatned her with cookies)

Me: "What do you ship?"

Friend 1 "Um...Jerza, Gruvia, Gale, Elfman and Evergreen, and Nalu"

Me: "Oh that's great! Which one is your ultimate OTP?"

Friend 1 "Jerza."

Me: "I could live with that. Gray's all mines, but I agree with everything else. Nalu is my ultimate OTP. And you?"

Friend 2 "I don't really know. I like Fairy Tail, but I'm not really into the romance. I think it's kinda weird. But, I do agree with Jellal and Erza, but I don't see how Elfmen and Evergreen have anything going on. Juvia's not getting Gray and Lyon's not getting Juvia. I'm not really into the romance. But, if I was, i'm kinda going for Natsu and Lisanna"

ME: "You're on crack right?"

Friend 1 "No, no, she obviously has brain trauma"

ME: "She's about to _get_ brain trauma. We're going to have to go a couple of rounds about this. I can't have you loving Nali. I will accept a lot of things, dear friend. If you were gay, I'd accept you. If you were athiest, I'd be so happy, I'd dance. If you killed a man, I'd accept you. If you robbed a baby I'd laugh with you. I'm openminded with many things. But NOT WITH NALI! Sit the fuck down and we've got to help you"

Friend 1 "True true."

Friend 2 "I didn't say anything bad. I just kinda said I like Natsu and Lisanna. They were cute. That's not bad"

Me "Of course its not bad. You know, that's not a capital offense or anything, but I'd rather you suck the blood from my body than spit that shit right in my face."

Friend 1 "Why don't you like Lucy?"

Friend 2 "I never said I didn't like Lucy. I just don't really think she likes Natsu and plus, she kinda dresses wierd"

ME "I understand. I really do. But, excuse me..." (I somewhat bite her because I tend to bite people"

Friend 2 "OW! You crazy freak!"

ME "I had to get your attention. HOW THE HELL DOES SHE NOT LIKE HIM"

Friend 1 "Its obvious its like she has a crush on him. And if its not a crush, then its a slight crush that she doesn't realize. Have you watched ALL THE EPISODES. Did you watch episode 50? did you read that chapter with the sakura tree? Even if she doesn't like like him yet, they still have potentail to become more"

Friend 2 "Well...I don't remember a chapte r like that. Geez, its like you're forcing this down my throat"

ME "We are. There no other way around it. I hate oppressing others, and my opinion shouldn't really matter, but I just don't like Nali"

Friend 2 "Well, its not you who's kinda shipping Natsu and Lisanna"

Me "But its about to be me who shoves this foot up your ass."

Friend 1 "Natsu and Lisanna, even if he did like her, was a childhood thing. Hiro Mashima didn't even want to bring her back. She's not supposed to exist and she's not even really a strong character"

Me "Plus, all things aside, Lisanna was like an old crush or whatever. Lucy's the new chick, and those Nalu has so much history. You cannot tell me that when she jumped off of Phantom Lord's building that you did not think that was sweet"

Friend 2 "Yeah. Well, I didn't even really know Lisanna then"

Me "See? You knew Lucy way longer. Gosh, this is like Inuyasha and Kagome again"

Friend 1 "Yeah it is. That was horrible, but I cried when Kikyo died"

Friend 2 "What are you talking about. Stop getting off topic!"

Me "We are on Topic. Natsu, Lucy, and Lisanna are like Inuyasha, Kagome, and Kikyo. You heard of Inuyasha right?"

Friend 2 "I watched five episodes before I got tired and moved on"

Friend 1 "Well, Inuyasha had a past relationship with a girl named Kikyo who died. When he met Kagome, they became friends, and whatnot, but then Kikyo was brought back to life somehow, and Inuyasha, who was falling for Kagome, kept running after Kikyo."

ME "That kinda sounds like Nali vs Nalu. Lisanna was his old friend, who everyone thought died, and then she came back. Lucy's the new girl. But, its not that kind of relationship. That's why I don't do Nali. After that whole Inuyasha and Kagome over Inuyasha and Kikyo, who for 90 % of the show I hated, fiasco, I didn't want something like this"

Friend 2 "This is why I don't really do romance in Fairy Tail! Because it gets weird and complicated and everyone wants everyone together"

Me "Oh, I don't want to see too much romance in Fairy Tail. Jellal and Erza are canon in my head, Gajeel and Levy are getting there, and I just want Natsu and Lucy to happen. Thats about it. Elfmen and Evergreen are like a couple under the table. And since Gray is mines, yet I support Gruvion, I can't really care for that pair."

Friend 2 "Well what you said did sound good. I like Lisanna, and I like Lucy, but I don't want to support any couple"

Friend 1 "Then don't. Just don't go blabbing to us about somewhat supporting Nali."

Friend 2 "Hah...well, that was that really cute moment in the Tenroujima arc when Lucy told Natsu she wouldn't leave him. So...yeah, I guess she kinda likes him"

Me **"I think we're getting to her"**

Friend 1 "We are."

Friend 2 "No you aren't. I still don't support any couple in Fairy Tail. I just like letting the show be"

Me "This is goonna take some time"

Sigh. In my heart, it will always truly be, till the day the world stops living, Nalu, forever and ever ,and I will go down with this ship. I'm open to other pairings. Lolu is cute, but its apparent Lucy doesn't want to go that way, and Gray treats Lucy like a sister. You already know why I don't support Nali. And Erza treats Natsu like a naughty child/baby brother. So yeah, No Natza. I am fully immersed in the romance with Fiary Tail, but I honestly enjoy the show. But I will ship Nalu. And yes, WORSHIP it till I can't anymore.

Seriously, I even have a theme song for my shipping.

Go listen to White Flag by Dido.

I will go down with this ship.

Until Next Week, friends!

(or until I publish a random one-shot)

FAIRY TAIL UNTIL EXISTENCE CEASES TO EXIST.

-Thinwrist

* * *

Authors Note: A weekly update as promised. But, didn't I update on Monday? Oh well, every Thursday come look for a new chapter!


	30. Chapter 30

_It's all about the flowers and the bee's! Or is it all about the chickens and the eggs? Or is it the stork? Well, Wendy must know! _

* * *

The day when Wendy inquired where all the babies were coming from finally came.

Being the youngest member of Team Natsu, no one really payed much attention to the little Dragon Slayer when it came to explaining things such as sexuality and why sometimes Lucy would be scarier than Erza. Everyone in the guild automatically assumed that one day Wendy would magically understand everything about sexuality and maturity and that would be that.

Sadly, that wasn't that.

Wendy, now being thirteen, had somehow gotten it into her head that all the cute fat chubby kids just popping everywhere had to come from somewhere. She deduced that it involved a female, because when Erza had her first child, she grew big and her stomach was the size of a watermelon. (sadly, when Gray and Natsu pointed this out, they managed to prove that a pregnant Erza was in no way docile.)

When Levy randomnly announced that she too would be having a child, and Gajeel freaked out, destroyed a very good part of the guild, and ran away for four days, Wendy deduced that it had nothing to do with males.

But that theory was blown away when not even one month later, Bisca annouced that a second child would be coming to be the sibling to Asuka. Alzack did not run away for four days, and he didn't need to be dragged back by Laxus, Gildarts, and Freed (like Gajeel)

So where did they come from?

When she finally summoned up the nerve to ask someone, it was when Erza, Levy and Bisca had finally had their kds. And then, to ruin the moment of three new guildmates, Lucy suddenly came barging into the guild, arms flinging akimbo, face etched in woeful tears, screaming at the top of her lungs that she should've watched her birth control and taught that idiot flame eater to use spermicide.

While half the guild lay unconscious on the floor (because come on...who would've thought Lucy of all girls would be having a kid?) Wendy shyly went up to Juvia, one of the few ladies that didn't have children, and whispered

"J-Juvia-san"

Juvia turned from Gray, who she had been harrassing, and smiled down Wendy

"Yes, Wendy?"

Wendy blushed, not because she knew what she was asking. She felt like she was prying into private bussiness. But the mystery of how babies were made pushed her onward

"U-um, may I ask a question?" she mumbled

Juvia leaned foreward "Of course."

Wendy shuffled her feet. A part of her didn't want to ask, would rather have joined the big ball of females cooing over Lucy, but another part of her, a rather rude part of her, pushed her onward

"U-um...Where do babies come from?"

Juvia stiffened. Wendy felt her heart skip a terrified beat; she knew that she had asked a rude question. She immiedatly wanted to take it back

"Juvia-san, its ok. I-I'll go"

"Babies?" whispered Juvia. Her eyes had glazed over. Wendy wondered if she had truly insulted the rain woman, when in a flare of motion, Juvia threw herself at an unsuspecting Gray.

Gray, who'd happily been minding his bussiness, nearly fell on the floor when the rain woman collapsed on him

"Gray-sama, we should have a baby!" was the first thing he heard her say. He sighed inwardly, because this wasn't the first time, and manuerved himself out of her grasp

"And why would you want that?" he asked calmly. He'd long ago given up on yelling at her or running away. The best thing to do was to be calm and try not to let Juvia get a grasp on his waist.

"Oh, it would be so cute! Lucy is having a child! We should too!"

Wendy stood a little ways away.

"and who got that in your head?" Gray asked

Juvia tried to move closer to him. She suddenly stopped, turning back to Wendy "Oh, Juvia forgot! Wendy was asking a question! Forgive Juvia Wendy, Juvia forgot."

Wendy smiled "Of course, Juvia-san!"

Gray let Juvia go, and tried to slink away, queitly. Juvia tapped her finger to her china and thought for a moment

"Well, Wendy-chan, this is hard question to answer. Juvia doesn't want to get into the whole bussiness of how babies are made-"

Gray, who had happily made his escape, froze. _What the hell is Juvia thinking telling Wendy that! _He thought. Even if he didn't want to, he turned back

clasping Juvia's shoulders, Gray reeled her around. "Juvia, you can't tell Wendy that!" he hissed

Juvia, who was perplexed asked "Why?"

"Because she's only a kid. And a really sweet one at that. I don't think she's ready."

Juvia frowned "How foolish of Juvia. Juvia should've thought better; Juvia shall follow Gray-sama's instructions" she knodded, tried to kiss him, and turned back to the little blue haired girl

she rubbed the younger girl's hair and said sweetly "You must forgive Juvia, but she cannot answer such a question"

Wendy smiled, although on the inside, she was dissapointed. She said her goodbyes and went away; she took Juvia's refusal to answer as a reason to stop her mad hunt. She had thoroughly been ready to leave the subject behind when the doors to the guild were basically thrown off their hinges

"Did you find him?" hollered Gray

Elfmen, and a gang of male Fairy Tail mages, swaggered inside. Wendy noticed with quiet apprehension that some of them carried thick, metallic chains in their hands, and in one terrible case, a whip. She swallowed and wondered what poor unlucky soul had gotten on the bad side of Fairy Tail

"No" replied Elfmen, to Gray's question "He's not in the usual places."

Carla hopped onto the table where Wendy sat "Carla" asked Wendy "who are they looking for"

"Natsu" replied Carla

"Why?"

"For being a coward"

Wendy wondered how on earth that was possible. Natsu was the bravest man she knew in the whole wide world. He couldn't possibly run away from anything-why, not even dragon's scared him!

"Why is Natsu being a coward?" Wendy asked

Carla clucked her tongue "Your too young, Wendy. You'll understand when your older"

Wendy didn't show it, but she didn't think Carla was being fair. Wendy was older than her! Carla was the same age as Happy, who was, what, seven? Eight? It wasn't nice, but Wendy thought that Carla was wrong. She was old enough to know why Natsu was being a coward, and where babies came from! Her mission renewed, she walked up to Mirajane at the bar, who was sitting besides Cana, who had passed out

"Mira-san!" Wendy greeted

Mirajane smiled a placid smile at her "Hello, Wendy-chan. How are you today?"

"I'm good. Although, I couldn't say so for Natsu"

Mirajane's cheek's turned a pinkish hue. She sighed and unnaturally, passed a hand through her hair

"Mira-san, why are they hunting for Natsu"

Mirjane leaned across the bar "you don't know, do you?"

Wendy shook her head "No, I don't"

Mirajane sighed again "It's not very romantic, but he ran away because he's scared"

"scared of what?"

Mirajane smiled again "Why, because Lucy's having a child of course"

Wendy hit a brick wall. Here she was again, at the root of all her qaulms. Babies.

"and where do babies come from, Mira-san?"

Cana, who Wendy had thought was passed out, replied in a loud slurred vioce

"From cocks of course!"

Chickens? This was getting confusing. What did chickens have to do with anything. Maybe, since pregnant ladies had big bellies, there were eggs inside of them given to them by chickens!

Mirajane threw Cana a reproachful look "Pay her no attention, Wendy. They do not come from...that. Well, at least not in that way. It's a very complicated process"

Wendy frowned. So chickens had nothing to do with it? And what was this talk of a complicated process?

"Just think of it like this, Wendy. There is a flower. And the flower, who has never been pollenated before, meets a bee. The flower and bee then become good friends. Great friends actually. Then the flower allows the bee to pollenate it. The bee pollenates it and then proceeds to marry the flower. Then the flower has little flowers!"

So...all females were flowers? Wendy had never thought of it like that! Flowers? How could they be flowers. She didn't have roses on her! And if the bee did pollenate the flower, how come the flower had baby flowers. Shouldn't it have been baby bee-flowers?

Wendy was confused again. But since Mirajane had did her best, she let her be. She left the bar. Across from the Dragon Slayer, the gang of Natsu-must-die hunters were loudly exlcaiming about things involving no testicular glands in one pants and skin flailing. Wendy shook her head. Natsu was in a lot of trouble if they were planning on skinning him.

She decided to try one last time. Sitting in the middle of the gaggle of females, Erza relaxed against a table. For a woman who had just had a baby, she looked great. Wendy shyed into the group. Lucy sat at the center, her head in Levy's lap. Evergreen was whispering something to her, while Bisca was advising her on not 'aborting' it. Wendy wondered what she meant by aborting.

"Erza-san" Wendy greeted her

Erza, who had been quiet for a while, turned to Wendy "Hello, Wendy!"

"How are you?"

"Excellent." Erza replied.

She was tired of dodging around the question so she just came out with it "Erza-san, where did your baby come from?"

Erza, who's gaze had been easing back to Lucy, returned to Wendy. She didn't frreeze like Juvia, nor did she blush like Mirajane, and she definantly didn't cry like Lucy

"Wendy, do you know what a period is?" was all she asked

of course she did! She prided herself on her literary grammer!

"It's what you normally end a sentence with, unless it's a exlamatory sentence or questioning sentence" she answered, rather boldly

A smile creeped on Erza's face. "Ok Wendy. Babies come from the stork, who delivers them to the suspecting parents, when the parents apply nine months before."

"Then why do pregnant woman get fat? Why are they pregnant at all?"

"They get big because their full of such joy. If a pregnant woman is too happy, she'll explode"

Wendy mulled this over for a brief amount of time, and finally satisfied with her answer, thanked Erza. When she returned to her seat, she was glad that someone had finally given her a straight answer. At least Erza's answer made sense. Now that she knew the truth behind where babies came from, she decided that she too should some day apply for a baby, although she hoped she didn't get too big. She knew she'd be happy. When she told Carla this, Carla turned tomato red and exploded with laughter before flying away, leaving Wendy with a weak 'I have to go scold the he-cat' excuse.

Wendy wondered what had made Carla laugh so hard. She didn't know, and frankly, now that her mission was completed, she didn't care. Wendy wondered why Lucy was crying though. Perhaps the stork had rejected her request? Wendy felt bad. Why wasn't Lucy able to obtain a baby? She thought that was unfair. Maybe that's why Natsu ran away; he was talking with the stork. Then why was there a man hunt for him? Wendy didn't have an answer to that. Perhaps he'd beat the stork up and ruined Lucy's chance of getting a baby. That sounded reasonable. And Natsu-ish. Then what was this talk of birth control and spermicide and aborting?

Wendy shrugged. She resigned herself to the simple stork explanation. When the man hunt for Natsu finally succeeded and they brought the flame eater back kicking and screaming, Wendy felt terribly bad for Lucy, because Natsu had ruined her chance of applying for a baby. She thought that the severe scolding that he was recieving from Master Makarov while hanging upside down was a worthy punishment. She did however think that the chains wrapped around him and the sign reading 'Douche Bag' pinned to his chest were a bit too much.

* * *

Authors Note: I understand Erza is a sensitive subject this week. I'm so worried about her. I just wanted to write something light, innocent, and funny. I don't think it makes much sense, but I wrote this at like midnight and sleep was basically clawing me into the depths of dreams. So yeah, I wrote this half-asleep. I'd love positive (and if you have balls, Negative) feedback. Thank you. Now to sleep!

* * *

Author's Note Again: My 30th chapter! So proud! How long will this last? Who knows? I CERTAINLY don't. Maybe I'll reach 100 chapters...or 500. Just be prepared to ride this out for a while! ;) Thank you for reading and Nalu and Fairy Tail forever.


	31. Chapter 31

**-****_I hate it when the Fairy Tail fandom whines about fanservice, ships, plot structures, characters, and everything in between. Why can't we just enjoy _****Fairy Tail ****_and be happy that we have such an amazing manga and an even greater manga maker?_**

**_Tumblr, Anonymous_**

**Calm Your Tits**

I'm sorry about no updating as usual. I was sidetracked by the fact that I was incapable of moving until I got the latest Fairy Tail Chapter. I seriously needed to know what happened to Erza before I did anything that involved Fairy Tail. (and I spent a good four hours on Tumblr...damn that Socail Networking website, damn it!)

Speaking on the matter of Fairy Tail in general (and not just ships, or whatever else I tal about.) seriously Fairy Tail Fandom? Calm your tits. I am frankly sick of the hate on fanservice, and that whole 'whatever-happened -in-the-anime-that-wasn't-in-the-manga-doesn't-make-it-canon'. Fanservice is meant to please you, not piss you off. And you can't please everyone, so whatever. I mean, episode 163? Fanservice galore! Did I hate it? No not really. I was joking when I said I hated it, because of that whole Lisanna thing (Not hating on Lisanna.) I loved episode 163. Fanservice in Fairy Tail is the best! And that kind of whining is the kind of thing that just ruins the whole Fairy Tail expierance for people. If you whine about Fanservice, then Fairy Tail, no, all ANIME just isn't for you. Now onto the whole controversail manga/anime thing. The anime, yes I KNOW, isn't directed by the manga maker himself, Hiro Mashima. (Why am I being so nice to him today?) He possibly doesn't have a say in what they do. But I am pretty fucking sure he is influentail in what happens in the anime. And even if he isn't the guys making his money off of it, so what the hell? I don't really like reading 'Oh I hate it when non-manga readers think everything that happens In the anime is canon'. It is CANON. Canon in the ANIME. The anime and the manga are two, if not completely, very different things. But in the end, they are based off the same story plot and characters. So, I don't really care if someone comes up to me and says 'OMG DID YOU SEE EPISODE 177 WHERE NATSU FINALLY KISSED LUCY?!'. My reply won't be 'NO NO IT WASN'T IN THE MANGA.' My reply would be 'HOLY SHIT, I GOTTA GO HOME TO WATCH THAT!'. The manga is a lovely things. The anime is a lovely thing. If you watch the anime, and don't read the manga, remember that you are missing some things. If you read the manga and don't watch the anime, remember you are missing some things. If you do both, good for you. Just...just fucking enjoy Fairy Tail and don't whine about shit like a little bitch. (Heh...have I offended some people?) I don't think Mashima intended to piss you off. Oh yeah, another little thing. People who whine about Lucy dressing like a slut or whatever...Fairy Tail also happens to be an ecchi anime (my Japanese learning is growing. I can now speak in sentences. Choppy, slow sentences, but hell I'm getting there) Ecchi basically means perverted. An ecchi anime or manga usually has big breasted girls, wide hips, cuvy bodies, and clothes that are too-short or see through. So, when Lucy's skirt happens to look like panties...you'll know why. You're just lucky its not hentai (oh don't go looking up hentai if you don't know what it means...its just...you're lucky Fairy Tail is not a hentai)

Maybe you're that seasoned manga reader who just can't stand the quirks in Fairy Tail. I once read this article about 'why Fairy Tail sucks' and I laughed. The person (no, I won't tell you who it was or what website. I'm pretty sure that person would have had a new asshole torn into him/her) pointed out all these problems. And in the end, if you spend your time looking at the problmes you'll never enjoy the show. And If you INSIST that Fairy Tail sucks...why are you still watching it? Why poop on other's joys? Just fuck off and let others enjoy it. It is however, good to critique. Everyone is critique though. (I think I just contradicted myself.)

Now onto Kagura. There are those who HATE her and there are those who LOVE her. I don't do either. I respect Kagura; frankly, I was kinda like YES when she was kicking Erza's ass (you know...right after I stopped crying and whimpering because ERZA LOST!) It was refreshing to see someone kick Erza's ass. It makes Erza herself seem more tangible. It makes it easier to accept Erza as a regular really strong really sexy lady and not a goddess. My Titania is amazing. But not perfect, and I respect Kagura for showing people that. Kagura's past was sad and whatnot, and she gave more depth to both Erza and Simon. Yada yada yada, basically, Kagura is ok. I just hope she doesn't join Fairy Tail. It wouldn't feel right.

Now Minvera. Hm...She somewhat pleases me. I can't forgive her for what she did to Lucy (the BITCH!) but I can however enjoy her role as the villian. Let's just hope she stays a villian and doesn't turn good like most of the villians on Fairy Tail. Nakama power is awesome and whatnot, but, I really hope she stays bad. Bad to the bone!

I'd really like to know why Rogue is obssessed with Gajeel! Finally some screen time for the Iron Dragon Slayer! (and no, I highly doubt Rogue wants to get in Gajeel's pants. That's Levy's job)

I didn't care for Lecter, and he was annoying, but I hope Sting gets him back. But, i'll be damned if what Sting is planning hurts Fairy Tail. You may be sexy, Tiger, but along with Tail's, Fairies can sting.

Ha, this sounded more like a review than a rant. I don't know, I just sobered up a little. And geez, I haven't mentioned Nalu once! SO NOW ONTO INSANE OTAKU FANGIRL MODE!

I'm thinking Fairy Tail is going to end soon, because there's not much left to it. Maybe the dragon's coming back to beat the shit out of Acnologia and whatnot and Zeref finally dying (Zeref can't die! He's way to cute! Such an adorable evil incarnate!) but let's face it, if Fairy Tail continues onto like Bleach (my Toshiro-kun!)or One Piece (Luffy :) ...we'll have an issue on are hands here. Will we die when Fairy Tail ends? Yes, yes I will definantly want to die. But it'd be better if Fairy Tail ends on a beautiful note. That would satistfy me while I'm crying

but if Fairy Tail ends without Nalu happening...or not even an eppic nalu moment...shit will get serious. I mean, I finished watching Rave Master and I see a likeness between the animes and mangas! I was wondering HOW nalu would happen though...because at the end of Rave Master, the main character, Haru, asked the female main character, Ellie to come home with him. (THE FEELS I FELT WHEN I SAW THAT.). Oh geez, what if Lucy tells Natsu if he wants, he can live with her! WAHHHHHHWAHAH! YES YES YES YES OH FUCKING YES! That would seem a little tactless and cliché on Mashima's apart, because people would bitch about it being nearly the same as Rave Master, but I wouldn't care because my grave would be getting dug! YES!

Sigh. Sometimes I need nalu like a baby needs a mother. I seriously obsess over them a little itty bitty too much. But pft, who cares? Not me.

I hope I didn't offend anyone with this post. I was just hoping for all of you who DID have that sort of mentality, I hope I opened your mind a little. I hope you watch anime a little differently from now on. If you don't wanna change, fine by me, I don't care. Just remember this little saying:

_What if somewhere out in this big mighty universe there was an alternate universe where Fairy Tail whined about you, and the way you dress, and the way you act, and what you did and how they want you to behave that way, and how you should totally be with this person instead of that person and how much you probably suck. How would you feel?_

Thans for reading

FAIRY TAIL UNTIL EXISTENCE CEASES TO EXIST

-Thinwrist

P.S. From Febuary 1st and onward, don't be a little shocked if I don't update for a while. Like a month. And don't forget, January 22nd the Fairy Tail movie FINALLY comes out. If you don't know where to watch it, drop me a PM asking me!


	32. Chapter 32

_**Nali fans qoute '95% of Nalu is fanart and fanfiction'.oh Nali fans, that's too funny!**_

_**-Tumblr, anonymous **_

**The Usual Arguments **

It's been such a long time since I did a proper rant on Nalu, and I feel terrible. What kind of shipper am I? I've been neglecting meh OTP for too damn long (not really. Yesterday, I spent the whole damn day fangirling over the early days of Natsu and Lucy's relationship! Kya! It was so cute!) , and I'm pretty sure you readers have suffered. Forgive meh. You are allowed to strike meh. (Hell no you're not. That was just a little Erza philosphy thrown in there)

So, because its been to damn long, I shall rant about nalu and it will beh good! (Some Capricorn philoshy thrown in there too. Enjoy. I'm in a Capricorn mood too.)

Although I absaloutely don't condone hate on other ships (Don't do it! You wouldn't steal a car! You wouldn't snatch a purse and you wouldn't kill someone! HATING ON OTHER SHIPS IS A CRIME!) I've noticed some sort of trend between all shippers. (I also notice that we fans have turned Fairy Tail into a huge shipping war. *Sigh* What will I do with you, Fandom?) Like, get a Nalu shipper and A Nali shipper in a room, and set them off on an argument. Well, they would both prove some very good points.

The typical fight Nali fans say to Nalu shippers seems to go somewhat this way:

"Well, Lisanna was Natsu's friend when he was young. And they promised to get married"

That would be the typical opening attack. Now, here evidence will be demanded by the Nalu shipper, and the Nali shipper will either say

"It was apparent that he liked her! Sides, he had a dream of her, and it doesn't look like he has feelings for Lucy"

OR

"There friendship is so cute! They just plain look good together"

Now the calm Nalu fan will nod and happily point out while Lisanna is Natsu's good friend, Lucy Is Natsu's _best _friend. And when he had that dream of Lisanna, it was in _Lucy's bed. _The insane Nalu fan will just happily spout random crap that is half tangible reality.

Okay, so after those words have been exchanged, the Nali shipper will say

"Lucy simply has nothing on Lisanna"

Which is quite true. When I'm in my right mind, I actually do accept that Lucy has NOTHING on Lisanna. Is that bad? HELL NO! Lisanna is unique in her own way, which is adorable (_*whispers to fandom* watch her closely!) _

BUT!

Lisanna has nothing on Lucy. Point blank. There both adorable in their own light.

Now that's the typical argument between Nali and Nalu. Now, onto Lolu.

The Lolu shipper will begin his/her argument with:

"Loke obviously loves Lucy. He actually shows his emotions."

Now this is a tricky rebuttle, because obviously, Loke does make it clear that he is in lovey dovey with Lucy. (I mean, that whole 'I LOVE LUCY' banner couldn't beh missed unless your blind and deaf. And if you are, how are you watching FT in the first place?)

But, the Nalu shipper will usually reply

"Lucy shows no emotions to his romantic endeavours. Except, you know, that i-have-to-poop-face"

In which Lolu fans will say "Maybe she'll come around."

and the insane Nalu fans will give their blood cries of war, and then enter in an epic battle with the poor Lolu fan.

Well, those are the typical arguments I see between Shippers. I couldn't care less; I prefer to be the Minvera of the group. Allowing the two to fight out, reconcile, and then slickly destroy them both! But I've been thinking about it lately, and since I see so many likenesses between FT and Rave Master (sob. I LOVED Rave Master. Haru and Ellie FOREVER!) I don't think Mashima will easily make Nalu happen. But, you know, I'll accept AN EPIC NALU MOMENT at the end of the anime. Just even a hint would be good enough for me. Because, sadly, I don't have the money to fly to Japan and go...calmly...show Hiro the light.

Seriously, though, for all you anime lovers who have watched Inuyasha(even if you aren't, its basically a sin if you haven't watched Inuyasha. Inuyasha was the anime that got me hooked on anime. GET YOUR ASS TO A WEBSITE AND WATCH INUYASHA) , you know what the whole Nali, Nalu, and Lolu thing reminds me of? Kikyo and Inuyaha, Inukag, and Kagome and Kouga. Except you know, with Fairy Tail its not that obvious. But come on, Lisanna's whole 'friend'-who-died-and-is-brought-back thing is a little too reminscent of the whole Kikyo backstory. AND Loke being in love with Lucy...ehem...Kouga being madly in love with Kagome, anyone? I'm just saying, its way to alike. I mean, the whole Inuyasha concept can be smack down planted in Fairy Tail. I'm not saying that makes Mashima unoriginal. Hell no. its just their alike. I mean, Team Natsu? Natsu the leader, Lucy the chick, Wendy the kid sidekick, Erza the tortured herione, and Gray the lancer. Plus Happy and Carla, the pets! Now onto Inuyasha. Inuyasha the leader. Kagome the chick. Shippo the kid sidekick. Songo the tortured herione. And Miroku the lancer. Plus Kirara the pet. WAY TO CLOSE. I don't care though, there both awesome in their own light! But in Inuyasha, who won? INUKAG! (I strongly disliked kikyo, by the way. I mean...just..._bitch. _But I cried when she died. Not that I want that happen to Lisanna.)

But we all know it is NALU FOREVER.

And oh geez, the movie...is coming out...in ONE DAY. I can finally see the Nalu hug! (many choose to point out that it is just _a hug _and it happens all the time. And yes, its true. But meh no fucking care. I'm not desperate enough to use anything to prove Nalu's existence. But that hug is JUST SO BEAUTIFUL!)

Thanks for reading! It's been too long since I ranted like this, and it felt good!

-Thinwrist!

* * *

Authors Note: Apparently, someone has nominated me for this contest called Best FT Fanfic of 2012. Whoever it was, thank you. That obviously proves you love my story/bloggish thingy, and you fing my insane rants amusing. The contest is being hosted by OoComputerFreakoO. I'm in round one, and I hope to at least make it to Round 2. I'd lie to say if I don't want to win, because I do. I get nothing but a huge ego boost if I do win , but still, it'd be pretty cool to know that Why It Will Always Be Natsu and Lucy (among other things) have touched people enough to win such a title. So, if you could take oh, five minutes of your time, and go to OoComputerFreakoO's profile, and vote for me, that'd be awesome. Please read the rules, ok? The rules are in her story The Best Fairy Tail Fanfic of 2012. jHere's a quick debriefing:

If you're a user, you vote by Pming the hostess, Miss OoComputerFreakoO.

Anon's must vote via Review of The Best Fairy Tail Fanfic of 2012.

Only the top 50 will go into the second round (I'm hoping I'm atleast in it)

You can vote up to FOUR STORIES.

The first round of voting ends Febuary 11th.

And NO CHEATING.

I don't think I'll win because I'm going up against some pretty well written, good Fanfictions. (Especailly HawkofNavarre. She is such an excellent writer! I love all her fics! And she's pretty damn popular. Vote for her if you don't wanna vote for me. At least a good writer will win)

Thanks in advance for voting, and thanks a million for reading! I can't believe I have so many likeminded otaku's out there. Arigato-gozaimsu!


	33. Chapter 33

**Ask (and be answered) Thinwrist!**

**Hey! So, I know this is an early post. I feel like I have to just to compensate for the fact that you will start hearing a little less from me now (don't worry. Its not because I want to. It's just that I have reality issues, and recently I've been bitten by the One Direction bug and I just have to fangirl about them now at least a good chunk of my day...I know...GASP?!..but my reason for liking them is just...different. Not that I'll tell you.)**

**So, lately, I've been reading through my former posts, (and I guffaw a lot at how I sound. Honestly, why do you people love me? I'm just an idiot with a laptop) and I've been reading through the reviews I get. A lot of them are loving and filled with fervor and ardor, and I just feel like my ego is being swelled to the size of Jupiter. I like those, there really nice. Then there are the one's who just say 'meh'. Those are all right. Now the one's I love...like seriously, ****_love,..._****are the one's who poke and prod at my story! They'd be called the bad reviews, but I like to think of them as the helpful reality lovers. Hah! Now many of you thought that I'd be the first one to go throwing the 'bitch you don't know me' and 'fuck you, I do what I want.' (Well, yes, technically, I am somewhat like that.) but I won't. There'd be no point in fighting. Remember what I said? I like to be the Minvera of the group. So...now let the King handle this...**

**(Disclaimer; I'm posting reviews, yes. But I won't show the names. Sorry if you feel like I'm putting you out there, because yes, I am putting you out there. Not in a bad way. I'm just going to find a clever way to calmly point out some facts. I actually agree with some of these reviews, which is why I love them. Please, come one, come all if you hate this post. I'm accepting. Just accept my retailition. Which I will be mature about, because I'm just to damn old to be pulling petty 'DON'T FUCK WITH ME BITCH YOU DON'T KNOW ME FUCK YOU'. Too old for that. I got shit to do)**

**First Statement:**

_**I'll try to be rational, I simply see no purpose to this fic/blog, to a fan who doesn't ship NaLu (such as myself; I ship ErLu (Erza x Lucy)) this does'nt do anything to convince him or her, you are simply reinsituating what 99% of the people who read this already think, it is simply purposeless, that said, there isn't anything particularly wrong with this.  
End notes: I will say I kind of doubt that erza will be with jellal because: a. He is engaged and b. He is the guild master of a grey guild that would be made a dark guild if discovered by the magic council, being around erza would be endangering them both (just food for thought, feel free to bash it.)  
Another thing: I also don't think natsu will be with Lucy, simply because Lucy's feelings for natsu in episode 51 seem to disappear after that episode (if it was even canon at all) once again, please argue the point, I'd like to see your response  
Other things you might ask/ object to  
Before you ask, no I don't think that Lucy will be with erza in canon, I simply enjoy the pairing, probably because; before the fighting festival arc, I kind of saw Lucy as a lipstick lesbian ( episode 50 dissappointed me greatly) and erza was the female character she was with the most  
Feel free to bash me, I don't really care. **_

**First of all, anon, I hope you're reading this. No, no I'm not going to bash you; it'd be incredibly rude and hienous of me to do that. It's ****_like your asking for me to bash you._****Why? I don't wanna. I only reserve that for friends whom I can bitch at and people who I simply don't like. Since I don't know you, and since I am in a pretty damn good mood, I'm not going to bash your ship. Now, since you seriously want me to reply, ok. I'll try to add some cheeky humour to lighten this up too.**

**Your first sentence was completely correct. This blog/fic isn't ****_made _****for those who don't ship Nalu. Do I welcome non-shippers? Yes. I also welcome aliens, zombies, paraihs, and the monsters under my bed (I'm serious here. I believe in aliens. And fuck it all, get your guns ready because the world's going to end in zombies!) I'm not here to convince anyone to join the Nalu ship, you join it by your own indepent reasoning. But if you don't like it, I'm not going to shove this down your throat (you could say I'm being hyprocritical about this because of that friend I basically beat down in one of my chapters. She was a whole different case. First of all, she's young. And she's confused about many things. And plus, she happens to be an idiot, and idiots need training) I'm not strapping you to a seat here. You don't have to read this. Ok, now onto other things. You're an Erlu shipper. Ok, ok. You have every right to ship Erlu. (ok, nalu fans, come and get me, but I'm saying this now. Juvia can have Gray I don't care anymore. He's still my baby and lover boy...but I 5% ship Graylu. They have no chance in hell of getting together, and he still treats her like a sis, but I saw one VERY good picture of them and I was like...aw. Sucks to be me, because now Nalu shippers are going to be coming at me with claws and teeth out. Don't worry, Your captain is still here!) I'm not going to tell you NOT to ship Erlu. Don't care, its not my bussiness. **

**But there is one thing you are wrong about. Jellal doesn't have a fiancee, that's a lie he told to Erza because he was being a noble (bitch) man. Didn't you finish reading that chapter or watching the episode? Oh, I'm positive that unless by some half-ass miracle by Mashima, Jellal will stay on the run. But that doesn't mean he ain't in love with Erza and she doesn't requite his feelings. **

**I admit, I can go a little nuts about Nalu. Nuts to the point of losing rationality and reasoning (some of my chapters show that). If you believe I reinstitute 99% of what fangirls think, then we all must think alike because I simply do this from ****_my_****mind. (Tumblr is a huge influence, but that's about it). I don't think I just repossess what 99% of fangirls think. I think I simply tell 99% of fangirls what they want to hear. And I'm pretty damn proud. **

**Lucy Heartphilia, like Gray so rightfully thought it is ...niave. Cute. Niave. Adorable. And niave. I've come to the conclusion that Nalu will happen by complete and utter accident or by help from the guild members, because it's not happening on its own. Lucy's smart and pretty, and she wears nifty thrifty sexy clothes, but she's NAIVE. And shy. Oh, and geez, I have the impossible desires to throw about a million nalu moments in here from ep 51 and up, and chapters in the manga, but I won't. Natsu being the resident adult child of Fairy Tail and denser than a rock at the bottom of the sea covered in slime is tricky. Who knows what goes on in that head of his? He's a simple-minded idiot, but who know's what goes on in his brain? I admit, I only see about two to three moments when he shows emotions for Lucy other than nakama power. I'm not going to say he shows emotions for Lucy, but I'm not not going to say he doesn't. His friendship with Lucy's is adorable and lovely and deep. It really does have the potentail to morph into something more if only...someone...would lock them naked in a room together...Just...food for thought, I guess? **

**I did think it was weird that you thought that Lucy was a lipstick lesbian. I support Gay Rights and all, and trust me, I know a homosexual person when I see one...but, Lucy never struc me as one. She's just so girly girl and cute. In the beginning of the anime I thought Lucy was somewhat of a Mary-Sue. And she's so innocent and pure, and its not hard to read her. I just never thought of it like that. Thanks for the insight, I'm going to pay more attention now. Although in lesbian terms, if Lucy were to end up with anyone, I don't think it'd be Erza.**

**No, no I'm not bashing you, love. You gave me your insight, I gave you mines. I don't know why you were somewhat egging me on...did you want a rise out of me? (I tend to do the opposite of what people want anyway). ****_I don't want any of my readers hating on your insight_****, it's good to except critiscm, and frankly this critiscm was ok. So, if you ever happen to make an account, PM? **

**Statement Two:**

_**Shipping wars are completely pointless since both sides are equally hypocritical and irrational. **_

**Hello! So serious when I say this is one of my favourite reviews. I did say I wanted to join a shipping war right? Just for the fun of it. But I understand what this person means. Fairy Tail, such a lovely anime, has been turned into this enormous shipping war that won't end until Fairy Tail ends. Oh well, inevitable I suppose. I've stressed respect right? And no hating, right? Basically, point blank, shipping wars (while I find them amusing and insane) ****_are _****pointless. No side ever wins. I think chapter 32 showed the usual argument between Nalu, Nali and Lolu right? Admit it, fandom, those are the typical fights. Do I somewhat wanna elimante any threat to Nalu. Yes. (`~Lisanna darhhhlllinnng and you to, Loke). But I claim my right to a professional fangirl. And what are fangirls made out of? 95% obssessive insanity! So, while shipping wars are pointless (I don't engage in them, yet I find them hilarious.) they somewhat feed the desire for all shippers to defend what they love. So, who else are they destroying but themselves? Who else is suffering from them but the shippers themselves? They get so wrapped up in it that they lose the kindling fire for the anime. I say, for all those who pay attention to shipping wars other than a joke are ruining the expierance of the anime for themseles...because who can reason with irrational people? I'll admit to being just straight up two faced sometimes. I;ll say one thing and do another. Psh, but hell, who isn't? I like what this person pointed out, and I'd like to say, if you don't wanna look at shipping wars aviod them...or break your computer or laptop because that's the only way you'll get them to stop...**

**Statement Three!**

_**It always brightens my day when I get notified you've made another chapter :). And I totally agree with you that Fairy Tail cannot end until Lucy and Natsu get together / really cute NaLu moment :D . Please don't stop updating this. I really enjoy it :) . **_

**Thank you, love, it always brightens my day to see reviews like this. Its always nice to meet a fan. **

**Statement Four!**

_**Fairy Tail is NOT an ecchi anime, it's just that it has a lot of fan service... **_

**Really its not? It has all the right compenets. Oh well, I was wrong. Sucks. But thanks. **

**Statement Five:**

**_Hmm I have a little question...isn't the Fairy Tail movie the same as the Fairy Tail episo_****_des_**

**_in the anime? Just curious. And if it's different, where do you watch it? Is it the WHOLE movie and we can see the pairings, or does it only goes up to where the episode leaves off? _**

**Movies from animes and manga's are in a whole canon section of their own. They follow their own plot. It's like a little side story from the main story. It's hardly ever referenced in the anime or manga unless its for advertising. So, just think of movies as side stories that sometimes have nothing to do with the main plot. Just enjoy it, and love the feels. Movies do have pairings in them, yes. If you wanna consider kissings/making out canon in the movie, fine by me. (they did that with Inuyasha. Another troll). Just know it'll usually be brushed off like it was nothing...what a bitch, right?**

**Statement Six:**

_**I would adore 500 chapters! **_

**Would people even still read it at 500 chapters? Who am I kidding, I once read a 500 chapter Bleach fanfic. You just better hope I don't get lazy and poop out or get sidetracked by other things, and other works. I'll try. Just need support, and I'll keep the chapters rolling in. **

**Statement Seven:**

_**I shall defend this amazing couple for the rest of my natural born life! Actually, I take that back. I SHALL DEFEND THEM WITH MY SOUL EVEN AFTER I DIE! I'll take my post watching over Lisanna. Also, I believe it was the NaLu fan girls' will that stopped Lisanna in the wedding thingy for the GMG. Natsu and Lucy WILL get together, even if I have to go to Japan and force Hiro-sensei to draw their wedding in there! I know formally beg my entrance into the Natsu Just for Lucy army! Thank you! **_

**WE SHALL MY SISTER OF WAR! WE SHALL! EMBLAZON NALU ON YOUR HEART FOREVER! Other than that, I so believed it was the fangirls that stopped Lisanna. When I saw that episode, I was trying to use the force to somehow get the moon to drop on her. Haha, Lisanna, I'm sorry. I feel so bad for you. It's either your loved or hated, isn't it?**

**Statement Eight:**

_**You are so right when you said it was like the InuKag v. InuKik fiasco all over again! And I hated Kikyo until the day she died. Now that I think about it, she wasn't as much as a bitch after the Mount Hakurei (spelling, because it's been a while since I've watched Inuyasha...) Arc. But still, once a bitch, always a bitch. **_

**Kikyo needed to go somewhere. I hated her for a good portion of the show. She was a bitch. Annoying. I couldn't stand how she cockblocked Inukag. But, I'm being so biased. In the end, when Kikyo died, I cried, not for the bitch's pain, but for Inuyasha because he was my baby and a mother never let's her child cry. When Kikyo did die, I thought about it and she was STILL a bitch, but the bitch had a sad life and a terrible death and naraku was a cock for what he did to her. I felt bad for her, and I sometimes regret hating her. I empthaize with her love story somewhat, because SHE WAS INUYASHA'S FIRST LOVE and whatnot, and you can never forget the fiery passion of first love. But, Kikyo...was just no. ( as Inuyasha's mother, I didn't accept her. Yes, I am Inuyasha's mother. I had him with Gray) Other times, well most of the time, I'm like 'Suck a dick Kikyo, I don't care. Stay dead this time'. **

**Statement Nine:**

_**I agree with you on this chapter, if even one of my class mates support nali or lolu or graylu I force them to like Nalu **_

**Ahaha, I'm flattered you'd say that. But, I don't think that was the message I was trying to send. Oh fuck it, I didn't even HAVE a message in that chapter. Thank you for liking it, thanks for spreading the nalu love, but...um...try not to shove Nalu down their throats? It's always best to slip nalu into their systems like a poison, that way it's much more efficient. (That's how it was with me and One Direction. Hated them. Stupid boy band. Saw Harry. Saw Louis. Saw Zain. Saw Liam. Saw Naill. Read about their bio's, watched some interviews, looked at some videos, felt bad because their management is a bitch...and bam! I was in love. Like a bullet in the heart. Damn you, boy band)**

**Statement Ten:**

_**Shouldn't this be on a forum somewhere?**_

**Yes, yes it should. But haven't you noticed yet...I'm DIFFERENT. **

**Thank you for reading. The only reason I did this was because sadly, there is a drought of Fairy Tail and the whole fandom is lacking in luster. I had to get creative. Plus, I was lazy, and I want to go back to One Direction. Hmm...Maybe I'll have Tsubaki update for me? Just kidding! I won't subject you to her tyranny often! I know...she's just so ****_normal _****and normal frankly is what I refuse to be. **

**Did I offend anyone? If so, tell me, and I will accept my repercussions kindly (I'd prefer to tell you to suck it up and don't whine like a baby, just grow some balls and accept critiscm because in life there are those out there who JUST DON'T GIVE A FUCK...but nah...in too good a mood for that!)**

**So, dahlings out there, I will remind you again to please go to OoComputerFreakoO's profile and read through it so that you can vote for me so that I can win The Best FT Fanfic of 2012! I want to make it into the second round! Trying so hard here! Please vote. Hell, if your story is in the round, tell me, I'll vote for you too. Just remembered**

**-If you're a user, please PM OoComputerFreakoO voting for up to FOUR STORIES. (make sure to include me!)**

**-If You're an Anon, please vote by review of The Best Ft Fanfic of 2012. **

**-NO CHEATING (unless you're real sneaky and know you can get away with it. But ****_I'm _****not egging you on, now am I?)**

**Thank you for reading, a million thanks in advance for voting, and a bajillion thanks in advance for liking this, Pming me, reading, loving Fairy Tail, and for speaking your mind back to me. You just don't know how much I enjoy a good debate**

**-Thinwrist!**

**FAIRY TAIL UNTIL EXISTENCE CEASES TO EXIST**


	34. Chapter 34

-_**Natsu and Lucy just have this amazing friendship...now those two fucker's need to go ahead and their thirty babies and call it quits. I'm getting tired of this shit! Hurry the hell up and become canon!**_

**_Anonymous_**

**_Friends (Who need to have benefits)_**

Kya, you must've missed me (I know half of you are probably like _'please bitch, no) _I will admit, I was somewhat struggling for a topic this week. I was juggling between maing a one-shot and writing death threats to Hiro for not giving me my nalu moment...but suddenly...a miracoulous thing happened!

Chapter 317!

Wahh, it was beautiful. Just absaloutely beautiful! The nalu feels were amazing (Lisanna who?) and I was just kinda of fist pumping and screaming and crying because it was just amazing. Now this brings me to the topic of the week! Natsu and Lucy's relationship!

We all know that eventually those two will come together and have their thirty babies. But their friendship in general is just...sigh...perfect. (I mean, I wish I had friends like Lucy or Natsu. My best friend would happily watch me splat on the sidewalk if that were possible. And vice versa). I mean, they are just so comfortable with each other. And that's why I love them so much as a couple, because, it just...I mean, fuck, Natsu without Lucy is like the damn sun without the moon (or hotdogs without ketchup. Where the fuck is the ketchup that was supposed to be on my hotdog this morning?! Someone's about to get cut). I swear, as the story progresses, they become more and more comfortable with each other (soon, they'll be comfortable enough to rock the bed) and it is amazing.

When the story began, it was just kinda like, okay, they're friends. But I'm pretty damn sure that by this point, Natsu and Lucy's relationship has stretched to the point of best buddies to the grave and beyond (hell no, it better not stay at that point. I expect them to get married!)

The way they always support each other, the simple gestures that mean so much, the blushes, no one can convince me that there isn't a bond between those two. And the thing I love about them is that they don't need to is or touch or hug to let the whole world know that they are special to each other. Natsu isn't romantic, but, he expresses his love in his own way. And Lucy, who is just so _cute, _expresses love in her own way.

Which is why I am positively 1000% sure that those two somewhere along the way will fall in love. Be it by accident or on purpose, those two will one day look at each other and know that they will be together forever (and then I'll happily jump off a cliff and say goodbye to this world because...my life has been fulfilled)

I hate dragging Lisanna in this, but I am. Natsu seems to have a great friendship with just about anyone, and his relationship...let me rephrase...acquaintance with Lisanna, is a good example. Natsu and Lisanna are great friends (and it's staying that goddamn way, you hear me Lisanna? I've got my eye and my fucking glock aimed at you)

The same thing with Erza. They're his friends, and they have bonds with him that stretch deep into his core, but Natsu's frienship with Lucy is..just special. And for anyone who refuses to acknowledge it for whatever petty reason is a dick head (yes, I called you a dick head. Now go cry about it)

They have the greatest chance of becoming a couple, and kya, they _will. _I'm not wasting my time trying to explain to anyone why Nalu is solid and concrete. If you don't see it by now, I'm recommending you go see my eye doctor (who happens to be a specialist, because, I have horrible vision) and he'll prescribe this special medicine called 'Reality check'.

So, now that I've wasted a good minute of your lives, please, do continue to live and move on, but before you do drop a review, and thank you.

Forgive me for this incredibly short chapter, but I'm still being rocked by feels, and it's just not possible to type a long chapter with tears in my eyes, now is it? So, good bye, and till next week.


	35. Chapter 35

**Cupid's Just Not The Guy**

**Warning: I hope you know you're Greek Mythology.**

* * *

Somewhere, sometime, long long ago, before Man forgot that there were pretty fucking awesome God's out there, and that they existed, and that occasionally, they liked to bang mortal chicks, there was a girl named Lucy Psyche.

"just a girl" was an understatement for Lady Psyche, since she happened to be a Princess. The Princess of her small island nation called Magnolia; but, if she were a Princess or a beggar girl, that wouldn't have mattered anyway. No one cared about the crown that was planted on her head, or the clothing she wore, or the authority she carried. No. What made Lady Psyche specail was the beauty she had. She was so beautiful in fact, that of course, the people of Magnolia began treating her like a goddess. Because no one had hair as fine as Lady Psyche's; the color of the golden sun that gleamed in the sky. No one had her large, round chocolate eyes; pools that melted any man's heart. No one had her warm, lovely round face. No one had her maiden body, soft and beautiful, curvacious and busty. No one in all of Magnolia, possibly the whole entire world, had beauty like that of Lucy Psyche.

Yet, she wasn't vain or proud; she knew that she was beautiful, acknowledged the fact that she had men throwing themselves at her, but, all in all, she didn't care.

It actually saddened Lady Psyche when she saw the temples built in her honor; it made her nervous when every morning she awoke, she found heaps upon heaps of offerings given to her. It made her feel rotten inside when people came crying to her feet, begging her to grant their every wishes, although she was just as mortal as everyone else. She hated being revered as a Goddess or Princess. Sometimes, she just wished she was a commoner, just so that she wouldn't have to face such tribulations on a daily basis.

Not everyone was pleased about this fact, although. High above, in the clouds, where the God's resided on Mount Fairy Tail, the 12 god's sat upon their thrones and were having a very heavy conversation about what to do with Lucy Psyche.

"She's gotten out of hand!" protested the Goddess of Love, Sherry Aphrodite "That Lucy Psyche! Her people are building temples of her, they are worshipping her as a Goddess. And my temples are being forgotten!"

The God of Sky and Lightning, Laxus Zues, leaned his head against his palm. He was quite bored with such affairs. There wasn't any purpose to them; he wondered, while Sherry Aphrodite bitched, if it had been the right thing to do to unseat his father, Makarov Cronus, and take leadership of the God's. Because he was pretty sure if he had to sit through yet another one of Aphrodite's bitch rants, he'd go nuts. Or chain her to Tarturus. Preferably the latter.

"Now, now" said Laxus Zeus, with his most earnest I-really-care vioce "Sherry, she's just a mortal. Eventually, she'll die and you'll go back to being the Goddess of Love and Beauty" _and bitchiness _Laxus Zeus added in his mind.

Sherry's beautiful, envious body shook with rage. The Great Sky God had never seen her so upset; he didn't really get it. Why did she care if one harmless mortal got some attention? Oh, wait, now he remembered. Because on top of being an incredibly beautiful and vain Goddess, Sherry Aphrodite was also a fame whore. Go figure.

"I agree with Laxus" spoke Gildarts Poseidon, the Great God of the Sea and Earthquakes (and horses for some reason) "There's nothing to worry about"

"I wanna go home" whined Gray Apollo "Oh, and Gildarts, one of your sea daughters, Juvia, she's stalking me again!"

Gildarts shrugged "Who's Juvia? I only have one daughter, and that's my Cana-chan!"

"Whatever!" spat Bacchus Dionysus, once again drunk "Let Sherry kill the mortal chick. It's not like I care!"

"No, no!" spoke Levy Athena "We can't let Sherry kill Lucy Psyche. It'd be wrong and unjust!"

"Keh," spat Gajeel Hermes "Who cares if she get's killed? It's just another life. I agree with Bacchus. Let Sherry wail on her"

Levy Athena shot Gajeel a glare that made him shrink slightly; he had forgotten that on top of being the wisdom Goddess, Levy Athena was also the Goddess of War.

"I agree with Levy Athena" said the queen of the god's, the beautiful and lovely Mirajane Hera "We shouldn't kill Lucy Psyche."

"I also agree," said the Goddess of the Hunt, Erza Artemis "She's a young maiden. She shouldn't be killed for her beauty"

"Yes!" chirped Levy Athena "I say we let her become an eternal maiden."

Everyone hushed. The Gods and Goddesses knew that _none _of them should be giving titles such as 'eternal' maiden. Why even Levy Artemis, who had been sworn to be a virgin forever had been debauched by Gajeel Hermes. Although no one dared speak of it, everyone knew well that although Erza Artemis was faithful to her virgin roleplay, she herself had had one lover. Jellal Orion; too bad that he was forever stuck in the stars, glancing down on his beautiful goddess for all eternity.

"Well I won't have it!" shrieked Sherry Aphrodite "I won't! I cannot allow such a vain and pompous and arrogant mortal woman to challenge my right as a Goddess! She must be gone"

"Well..." murmured the ever quiet and gentle Lisanna Hestia "why don't we have a vote?"

"Keh," spat Laxus "why not?"

Mavis Demeter, who'd been sleeping the whole entire time, finally stirred. She rubbed her eyes and stretched "What's going on?" she asked Gray Apollo

"We're voting on the fate of some chick" he whispered back

"Who?"

"Lucy Psyche"

Mavis went silent, then beamed "Oh yes, that lovely young woman. Well, I vote for her to live"

"It hasn't started yet" said Gildarts Poseidon

"Okay, Okay" boomed Laxus Zeus "All in favor of Lucy Psyche being killed, raise your hand"

Sherry Aphrodite, Bacchus Dionysus, and Gajeel Hermes raised their hands.

"And who wants to let her live?"

Levy Athena, Mirajane Hera, Erza Artemis, Lisanna Hestia, and Mavis Demeter raised their hands

"And who doesn't care?"

Laxus Zeus, Gildarts Poseidon, Gray Apollo, and Zeref Hades, who no one had payed attention to raised their hands.

"It's been settled" Laxus decreed "Lucy Psyche will live"

"What!" Shrieked Sherry Aphrodite "No! That was uneven. Where is Elfman Hephaestus and Natsu Ares! They haven't voted"

Gray Apollo scratched his head "You're right...where is that bastard?"

Now back in the mortal world, it was a fine lovely day, one of those few rare days where Lady Psyche got time to herself. She was in a field of flowers, minding her own business, when something heavy, something pink, and something hot fell on top of her.

"OW!" She cried "Ow, ow, ow, get offa me!"

The strange attacker rolled over, groaning and moaning.

"Dammit, that bastard did a number on me" he groaned "Good thing I'm a god, or I would've had my ass handed to me."

Lucy Psyche, hearing the word god, sat up immediately. She couldn't believe it. She stared at the fellow, a strange man with pink spiky hair and wide large red eyes. He didn't look like a god; he looked like riffraff that someone had thrown away

"You're no god" she sneered "You can't be!"

The fellow, who hadn't been paying much attention to the woman he had just nearly squished, looked at her. He blinked, and stared; Lucy Psyche tensed, and waited for the moment where he would grovel at her feet. Like she wanted that.

She did not, however, expect him to burst out laughing

"What" she said "What's so funny?"

"You don't know who I am?" he hollered, rolling on his backside "That can't be! Everyone knows who I am! I'm a God!"

"Well _I _don't know, nor do I care" She stood, hiding her amazement that this strange stupid man hadn't fallen in love with her instantly.

"Hey! You can't leave yet! I gotta tell you who I am"

"I told you I don't care"

"I'm Natsu!" he said "Natsu Ares, the God of War!"

Lucy Psyche stopped shortly. Her body tensed and then she veered around; he had to be kidding. This guy, this slightly muscular, but goofy looking guy was the God of war? It couldn't be. It was impossible.

"Yeah right" she spat

"I'm right" he said, his eyebrows pulling downwards to form an angry expression

"You're wrong" Lucy said

"Am not!"

"Are so!"

"Am not!"

"Are so!"

"Am not!"

"Are s-" she stopped. On top of being an idiot, he was apparently pigheaded and childish. This only made Lucy more sure that he was NOT the God of War.

"I'm leaving" she said, turning around

"Fine by me! I got monsters to fight! And then I gotta kick Gray's ass!"

She suddenly, inexplicably found herself laughing. She couldn't believe it, couldn't believe that this idiot was making her laugh. She turned back, and then, saw that he was in fact badly cut up and hurt, even though he looked ready to go raring for a fight

"You want me to help you with those?" she said, pointing at his wounds

"Nah," he said "I'm a God, remember? They'll heal"

She clicked her tongue.

And that was the beginning. After she had argued with Natsu for a good hour, he'd allowed her to help him with his injuries. And after seeing the blood and cuts disappear before her eyes, she believed him.

After that, they were inseparable. He was an idiot, he was a pighead, and soon, Lucy realized he was also thicker than a wall. Once she'd told him who she was, she still half expected him to fall madly in love with her. But he didn't; he just sneered at her and said she wasn't all that pretty. For some reason, after she'd hit him, she found this funny. Because this was the very first time that someone hadn't noticed her beauty. Of all things, Natsu Ares was looking at Lucy Psyche for who she really was.

There were times when they spent days together, just joking and fighting, and occasionally, Natsu Ares dragged her on his adventures. He loved to fight, and monsters were his favorite. When he returned her to her castle at night, sometimes, he'd stay and tell her all about the Twelve God of Mount Fairy Tail. Gray Apollo was an asshole. Laxus Zeus was too full of himself. Gajeel Hermes and Levy Athena had a thing going on. Erza Artemis was someone you didn't want to mess with. Gray was still an asshole. Sherry Aphrodite was a bitch. Zeref Hades was one scary bastard, and one of the few people, if not the only one, Natsu refused to fight.

And always, always, when they finished talking and joking and fighting, Lucy felt warm inside. Natsu was a pighead, but, he didn't see her for being Lucy Psyche. He saw her for being Lucy, and over time, Lucy realized that she loved that about him. And then, she just point blank loved him.

It was two years after the day when Natsu Ares fell on top of Lucy Psyche when Sherry Aphrodite finally placed her plan in action. One day, she called her son, the minor god of love, Loke Cupid, and ordered him to force Lucy to fall in love with the horrible monster, Typhon.

"But, mom!" protested Loke Cupid "Typhon will kill her! He's like, the evilest monster of them all"

"Do as I say!" Ordered Aphrodite and that was that. Loke Cupid went on his way, under his mother's bidding.

Yet, when he saw Lucy Psyche for the first time, he fell madly in love with her too. She was playing in her favorite field of flowers, waiting on Natsu Ares. He'd promised her that he would take her to a special place, where he'd show her something special. She was humming to herself, and although she realized that she was incredibly stupid and crazy, she was thinking about Natsu Ares. And Loke Cupid, not realizing that the lovely mortal woman was already in love, tried to woo her himself. He whispered in her ears words of milk and honey, soft and subtle as the breeze. She didn't see him but she heard it.

"Natsu?" she called "Natsu Ares? Is that you?"

Loke wondered how she knew Natsu Ares; the guy wasn't really known for being friendly to mortals. After some time had gone by, and all of Loke Cupid's sweet words hadn't caused one stirrup in Lucy Psyche's heart, he gave up and decided to shoot her with one of his arrows. He aimed it, and baited his breathe, because he'd have to time himself just right, to make sure that once it struck her, he was the first man she saw. He hooked the arrow, and launched it straight at her, and it struck right into her shoulder

"Ow!" she cried, flailing around in a way that wasn't pretty "Ow, ow, ow, ow!"

Loke Cupid decided to make his move, making sure to drop the veil that separated him from the mortal woman.

Just then, something big, something heavy, and something pink dropped from the sky and onto Lucy Psyche. Loke hesitated, and waited.

"Natsu!" Lucy shrieked "Why'd you do that? Geez, is this like a tradition for you? To drop out of the sky?"

Natsu Ares, groaning and moaning, rolled off of her and onto his back "Ow, dammit! That monster really wailed on me"

Lucy sat up, and thumped him on his head "You jerk! That really hurt!"

Natsu smiled at Lucy through his bruised and battered face "He-ey Lucy. What's going on"

She frowned, and wondered silently why she was in love with this idiot

"What's that in your shoulder, Lucy?" Natsu asked, pointing at the arrow. Lucy twisted around, and then, realized that she had forgotten about the arrow. Once Natsu had come for her, she'd forgotten about the pain she'd felt. He really did make her feel special

He sat up "Lemme help you with that"

She twisted around, waiting for him to take it out

and Loke Cupid watched. He watched Natsu Ares take the arrow out, watched Lucy Psyche cry out in pain, watched her yell at Natsu, who yelled back, and then they began to wrestle. After this little display, Natsu Ares bandaged her wound, and then he began bragging about his most recent battle. He watched Lucy listen, watched the look in her eyes.

Loke Cupid was perplexed. His arrow hadn't worked. He understood why too; Lucy Psyche was in love with Natsu Ares, which was hilarious. Loke knew that the God of War had a habit of being an antisocial jerk. He got into brawls with just about anyone, and although he wasn't exactly ugly, females tended to stay away from him.

"Hey, Lucy, I almost forgot" Natsu said, slapping his head "I was gonna ask you something."

"What?" Lucy asked

"Well, you wanna come back to Mount Fairy Tail with me?"

Her eyes widened, and a blush crept on her face "Like for a visit?" she inquired

Natsu snorted "No, weirdo. To live there, with me. Forever. You could become a Goddess."

Lucy, absaloutely flabberghasted, gasped "Like, be your wife?!"

Natsu knodded "Wife? Heck no!" then, looking the other way, he casually added "You could be my Goddess though."

For some insane reason, for some reason that no one in the universe would understand except Natsu Ares and Lucy Psyche herself, she agreed.

Loke couldn't believe it. The prettiest woman, possibly the prettiest woman on the planet had just decided to become the eternal goddess of Natsu Ares, the God of War. The most brutal, violent God there was. He was a monster on his own.

But then again, seeing the way he played with her, and teased her, and then finally, finally kiss her, Loke could see that obviously she was special to him.

So, when he returned to his mother Sherry Aphrodite, he happily told her that yes, Lucy Psyche had fallen in love with a monster.

Sherry Aphrodite, pleased with her work, did not expect to see Lucy Psyche greet her one day, the eternal Goddess of Natsu Ares. And no matter how many threats she made to the God's of Mount of Fairy Tail, they all agreed that she was there and there to stay.

* * *

Authors Note: This was your V-day prez. Enjoy. Don't choke on the feels.


	36. Chapter 36

**Just Some Letters,**

Hey, everyone! Missed me? Sorry about the late update. I could give some pretty fucking awesome excuses to why I didn't update, but, I think I'll leave that up to you.

Since I'm not particularly angry at Hiro Mashima today, or the animators, or Fairy Tail in general, I guess no rant today. Don't be sad.

Here's some letters!

**Dear Frosch,**

I feel kinda bad that I didn't like you at first (not really). I mean, you've quickly become my second favorite Exceed (Panther Lily being the first. Bosses come first). You're just like a ball of kittens and puppies, and sugar and candy, and babies and everything cute and simple balled into one little green cat dressed in a frog outfit. You are way to cute, and Thinwrist approves. Forgive me for not tolerating your simplicity at first. I just wanna hold you and squeeze you until I can't squeeze anymore, and then I wanna kiss you and then possibly, eat you (I don't think Rogue would approve though) (and not in a mean way either! I mean, don't you ever feel like when somethings so cute, you wanna eat it? Am I the only one? Damn...I'm weird)

But seriously, that's not cool Fro. You can't be so cute and lovable. Just...ugh. And when you cry, I simply want to cry too because no one makes Fro cry. I somewhat want to hurt whoever makes Fro cry.

So don't let anyone make you cry, ok, cutie? Cause I'll gouge their eyes out for you.

Hugs and Kisses,

Thinwrist

**Dear Lector or Lecter or Vector, whatever your name is, **

How long are you going to be dead? That's it really. I don't really like you.

-Thinwrist

**Dear Rogue, **

So...I kinda understand why you're obsessed with Gajeel. Forgive me, but I thought you had some freaky fetish with him. Like, Only-Gajeel-makes-me-feel-specail type of fetish. And that would not be cool, because only Levy should be thinking that. Other than that, you are awesome, and if anyone should join Fairy Tail, it should be you. Saber Tooth is way to cruel. Come and let Fairy Tail love you!

-Thinwrist

**Dear Gajeel,**

What. The. Fuck. I mean gawd Gajeel, what the hell are you doing? I _knew _something was wrong with you. That doesn't mean I don't love you (That whole crazy Iron Shadow Dragon Slayer thing some what turns me on)

You've taken badass to a whole new level. Just, come on, don't kill Rogue. He's a nice guy...and..ehem, remember that a certain bluenette is in love with you and I don't think it'd be nice if you killed someone right in front of her (or would she? Who knows. Maybe Levy's a masochist)

Speaking of crushes, Valentine's day is coming up. You know what that means right, gearhead? I expect you to stop whatever your fucking doing and give me my Gale moment. I don't care if your stopping the sun from smashing into planet Earth. You let that shit smash the Earth and buy Levy a goddamn box of chocolates and a ballon that says 'Have My Babies' and you kiss her.

That's pretty much it,

-Thinwrist

**Dear Levy, **

It is so obvious that you are in looovvveeee with Gajeel. I mean just how long do you intend to torture me with your little wails of "leave him alone! He'll die!" or "Oh, no Gajeel!". Just...damn it Levy, get that man in his birthday suit and DO IT NOW.

-Thinwrist

**Dear Future Lucy, **

You seem okay enough, but, I don't trust you. I really don't. Something about you just seems fishy. Really fishy (and I don't think its coming from in between your legs).

Just warning you, if you somehow turn out to be a big bad evil villian or something, I'm coming after you because you messed with Fairy Tail

But, I'm not sure about that. Everything about you confuses me. I pity you, and I don't hate you or anything. Either way, you're still Lucy (for now) and Lucy is my girl, so you're my girl too. I still don't trust you. But, for now, let's call a truce, eh?

Just watch your step.

-Thinwrist

P.S. That little forehead touch, although cute and feely and it did send me into Nalu feels, is NOT OKAY. I don't care. NO ONE GET'S NATSU, except Lucy. Not Future Lucy, not Past Lucy, not Lucy-from-the-dumpster. Lucy! Lucy who is by Natsu's side everyday. You're on my watch list for the Natsu Just For Lucy Army

**Dear Laxus, **

Hurry the hell up and kick Jura and Ogra's asses and prove to the world that you are King Boss.

-Thinwrist

**Dear Lyon and Gray**

Honestly, I'm sick of this. Gray is still my baby, and will always be mine, but one of you bitches needs to hurry the hell up and become Juvia's boyfriend, because come on, she's been waiting for the longest. One of you make her day. Juvia deserves it.

-Thinwrist

**Dear Wendy, **

Gosh, I'm so proud of you. When you fought Chelia and wouldn't give up, I was just so proud of you. You are like, officially my daughter. I'm so happy that you grew some balls!

-Thinwrist

**Dear Sting, **

Where are you?

-Thinwrist

**Dear Lisanna,**

Just a little warning. V-day is coming up. Hahaha, I suggest you get lost for a couple of days.

-Thinwrist

**Dear Yukino, **

Let's squash this right here and right now. I don't care if you look like a mix of Lucy and Lisanna. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO EVEN THINK YOU HAVE A CHANCE WITH NATSU.

NO.

For V-day, you can get lost too.

-Thinwrist

P.S. You're on my watch list too.

**Dear Kagura,**

You're past is sad, and please don't die. Don't.

-Thinwrist

**Dear Minvera,**

It seems like no one appreciates you for being a truly wonderful villian. You're possibly Fairy Tails best villian. I absaloutely love how rotten and evil you are. I personally have nothing against you (Except what you did to Lucy and Kagura. No. That is unforgivable. If anything, I hope you get your ass kicked just for that)

Give Lecter back to Sting so that he can stop whining, kay?

And then, I don't know, go get hit by a truck?

-Thinwrist

**Dear Milliana **

How the heck did you morph into some kinky cat lady? I will never understand how you animes girl think (oh wait, yes I will. Hiro Mashima is a huge perv)

Other than that, I feel bad for you getting whipped like that. GET IT? WHIPPED? **#Insert Whip Sound here# MEOW! **

Feelin' Spiffy?

-Thinwrist

**Dear Jellal, **

It's Valentine's day, jerk. Do something for Erza. I don't care what it is. Take her on a romantic get away. Take her to the beach. Jump out in all your naked glory right in front of her. Whatever it is, make it specail. Just as long as I get my Jerza feel. Because honestly, there isn't enough Jerza

-Thinwrist

**Dear Erza**

I know you're kinda busy, what with you having to kick Minvera's ass and whatnot, but, you know, you could always go ahead and finish that kiss you had with Jellal.

-Thinwrist

**Dear Natsu**,

Okay, bonehead. So, I understand a whole horde of dragons is about to like, bound you and your gang and whatnot, and I'm pretty sure theres going to be a tearful reunion between you and Igneel, but, put that on hold.

Why?

Because VALENTINE'S DAY IS COMING UP.

And I swear Natsu, I _swear, _if you do not give me a sweet Nalu moment, I will kill you with a fork!

I will do it.

-Thinwrist

**Dear Lucy, **

I wonder what you'll wear for V-day? Make sure its sexy. Cause we all know what's going down *wink, wink

-Thinwrist

P.S. I also feel horrible about the whole Future Lucy thing. I think you should learn from her, and try to make sure that none of that happens. And try to cockblock her too, because although F! Lucy is my girl, she's just a psuedo. You're always my girl and the only girl for Natsu!

**Dear Loke, **

You said you could love two Lucy's right? But can you love...how many Lucy's are we on now? Three? Four?

Hm. There's Lucy. There's Edo Lucy. There's F! Lucy. There's Gemini Lucy.

Can you love four Lucy's? Hm?

Oh who am I kidding. Of course you can.

Lucky bastard, you have a whole harem of Lucy's. Oh wait no, THAT'S NATSU!

Sorry to troll you like that (Not really. Only Natsu is allowed to have four Lucy's all to himself. Maybe you can have Gemini Lucy. _Maybe_)

Don't try anything though. Did you know there's a Lucy Just For Natsu army? Well there is. And You're Public Cockblock Number 1 (and Gray.)

Still love you. How about for Valentine's day you show _me _you're birthday suit.

-Thinwrist

Well, that's it for now.

OH WAIT. ONE LAST LETTER.

**Dear Hiro Mashima,**

I want a specail V-day chapter like, dedicated to all my OTP'S. Don't pretend like there isn't Valentine's day either, you troll. You may not know who I am. You may not care. But I'm watching you. (Not really. Sadly, I don't have that type of tech. But, imagine a skinny teenager clinging to tree outside your house. That's me. I'm hypothetically watching you. Still...the threat carries.)

And, I don't really care for any ships today. I just wanna know what's going to happen next SO HURRY UP AND RELEASE THE NEXT CHAPTER

-Thinwrist

Thanks for reading! Till next week!


	37. Chapter 37

_I propose we rename Fairy Tail "Fairy Tail: Friendship is Magic" _

_-Tumblr, Anonymous _

**The Next Big Barney**

I feel so bad for not updating like I should! (not really. I have to admit, Tumblr has now become a problem. Dear lord, what happened to me? Where did my social life go...oh, wait, it never existed)

A good reason for my lack of updates is because I find it it difficult to choose on non-offending rants to post; I have some amazing rants that I'd love to post, but I know that it would irk some people (I honestly care for the emotional foundations of my readers. I don't want to upset anyone; that sounds really, really fake and it somewhat is because I just wanna say 'I just don't give a fuck', but sadly, I can't. I'm such a saint; where's my shrine?)

But guess what? Today, I'll take about Fairy Tail's nakama power!

Point blank, it's getting a little annoying. I mean, sure its all about friends and whatnot and making sure that there happy and the value of human life and whatnot and bullshit this and bullshit that...but its grinding my gears. Maybe it's me (because I don't forge friendships with human organisms easily. My best friend? Books and Pens. I would say the closest friend I have is a bitch who constantly tells me she doesn't like me...and yet, we're besties. I'm lying; if she's reading this, I don't love you. I keep you around for entertainment. Get hit by a truck, kkkkaayyy? -virtual kiss-)

In the first few arcs, it was lovely. Sticking up for you're friends is awesome; forging a family is lovely. You shouldn't let your friends cry, you shouldn't let anyone hurt your family. As long as you have the strength of your friends behind you, you can take down a god. As long as you're friends are beside you, not even the sky can crush you, the ocean can't drown you, bitch you have friends behind you!

Of course...after the first few arcs, I was kinda like 'I get it Hiro Mashima. Nakama are the shit. Move on already'

But each and every arc seems to shove the point that 'Nakama power is the best' down your throat

Which is why, I'm pretty sure we should just go ahead and call Fairy Tail the next Barney. They could even sing "_I love you, you love me. Let's get together and beat Hades..." _

I still love Fairy Tail, and when it ends, a piece of my very soul will rot away, but COME ON. Move on, please? Like, can we have an arc that points to um...romance? Sorrow? (Fairy Tail does push those points but in very small doses that don't last.)

Friends are great, but I'd like to see Natsu get his power from something other than nakama power.

Oh, and Natsu is the worst! I mean, in his mind, it's just nakama or enemies. (simple minded idiot) I don't think Natsu has the affinity for anything else. (Grow up you pink haired idiot)

Friends are awesome, everyone needs some sort of friendship, and sure friends support you.

But, if there is a next arc, and if someone says 'As long as I have the power of my friends' I'm stabbing my ears out with a fork. It's played out...face it, Mashima, you've been playing the same fiddle for too long

Fairy Tail is still the shit; don't dare think I'm bashing my babies. I actually somewhat like that something about Fairy Tail gets on my nerves. That makes the show palpable, it has room for improvement, which is always good. I hate perfection; if perfection existed everything would be so boring and cliche (I would go happily jump off the precipice of madness and go batshit crazy)

-Rant over-

Thanks for reading! I think this rant was somewhat weak; I am still somewhat torn up because I just finished watching Black Butler (Kuroshitsuji) and I have never fallen more in love with a character than Sabastien Michealis. (Gray who?) and when it ended, I couldn't believe it.

Thanks for reading, Tune in for the next rant or one-shot!

Goodbye!

I am simply one hell of a ranter :)

* * *

Authors Note: This is wrong of me, it truly is, but I am writing a fanfic called the Wonderful Wizard of Ah, and once you're done a-reading this maybe you can hop on over and read the other one? It's my first attempt at a multific and I really like it. Who knows, maybe you'll like it to?


	38. Chapter 38

**Warning: Major Uber Spoilers for Fairy Tail movie, so, if you haven't watched it, don't read this update! You've been warned (unless you're one of those freaky people who enjoy spoling things for themselves)**

**Honou no Miko **

So, hello there! (It seems like my updates are getting lesser and lesser right? Don't worry. Until Nalu comes out, I will be here...or, at least, when I reach 100 chapters, I will be here)

So I was discussing my infinite love for nalu with a friend the other day and we've both come to the conclusion that because of tumblr and Fairy Tail, I have become a full raging foaming-at-the-mouth, oh-my-gawd-she's-a-freak wierdo (I was already somewhat like that, but because of Fairy Tail, I ship so many things now, and it's just gotten out of control). Well, whatever, it's not like life has much to offer anyway, so I might as well let my love for nalu burn like the heat waving off of six millions suns.

Yeah, I pretty much worship nalu.

Anyway, enough about me. Has anyone watched the Fairy Tail movie yet? (There's no official sub, but there is a decent fansub on ) Well, if you have, there were some key moments in that movie that made it amazing. But, since I don't really talk about much else than shippings and pairings, let's talk about shippings and pairings!

-ERZA MOTHERFUCKING SCARLET BOUGHT A WEDDING DRESS! Let me stop barfing rainbows for a second here, because when I saw her buy that wedding dress, I was kinda grinding on the walls and going bonkers because...well, let's just say...JELLAL BETTER FIND HIS MOTHERFUCKING TUX!

-Speaking of Erza buying a wedding dress, she beat that chick up WITH THE WEDDING DRESS. Apparently "her desire to get married was so strong". (Trollshima, this is your fault. You came up with that plot. What the fuck were you thinking? Were you trying to pull my leg...Mashima, I've had it up to here with your shit. Please, someone direct me to the nearest cliff so that I can throw myself off of it)

-Ehem...Gruvia was all over the place too. Although I don't ship Gruvia, I found it cute and adorable when Juvia got jealous. Honestly, it's hightime Gray fessed up his love or Juvia hooked it up with Lyon. Either way, she needs to be rewarded for being a dedicated lover.

-THE NALU. I WAS BUILDING UP TO THIS, BUT THE NALU...THE NALU...THE NALU...I've gotta go throw up some feels for a sec, I'll be right back...okay, I'm back. Oh gosh, there was so much nalu. Nalu everywhere. GODDAMMIT MASHIMA STOP TROLLING AND MAKE IT CANON ALREADY. STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP! My poor heart can't take this much longer. Just hurry up and make them canon already so that I can die a happy girl!

I tried to keep this vague so that the people who ignored my warning wouldn't miss out too much, but, well, you see, I wrote some letters and I can't help myself.

**Dear Jellal, **

Store. Now. Find a white tuxedo, and GO GET MARRIED.

-Thinwrist

**Dear Erza, **

I am so proud of you...I somewhat sobbed when you beat that ladies ass in your wedding dress. Who knew that you wanted to get married so bad? It was heartwarming and beautiful and touching and, oh god, the rainbows are being thrown up again...

-A Very Comatose Thinwrist

**Dear Juvia, **

only true lovers of Gray would protect him like you did! Bravo! (you have my blessing.)

-Thinwrist

**Dear Gray, **

Nothing much to say to you. Just, thanks for looking so damn fine.

-Thinwrist

**Dear Natsu, **

#$%&*#! $## $ #%$ #$ %$% #$$$%^$#%$%$$$$%$%#$$ asjfasnkfkjnsdfkjsnfafaddofn sdfsdfljsnvvnfdjgndgdfkngafn alsdfnsdjabhfsfaljfndsndfjsf nsjdfnsjfnsdfawoinajafaafdkh snfsjdnfsndfsjdfnsdfjnoawnac ajfandkfsjndfkjsdn

If you can decipher what I just wrote to you, then you are smart because I can't even tell you, idiot, how much the nalu killed me. It was riidcously heart warming; I mean damn, can't you leave Lucy alone for una seconda? (Um...I think that Spanish for one second or pig Latin for fuck your horse.) and all that fighting and Lucy protecting and...and...and...do you enjoy ripping my heart out, you turd? Do you enjoy me weeping over you're little moments, you annoying fuck. Just, stop it, my heart can't take it anymore. Hurry up and get together!

-Thinwrist

**Dear Lucy, **

I'm not even going to bother with you. Everything about you in the movie made me want to stab myself in the eye with a fork. Damn you for being so sweet and fragile. Damn you, Lucy

-Thinwrist

The movie all in all was good. I thought the plot was a bit iffy, but it made up for it, as usual, with emotion. I mean, the whole Eclair thing was just emotionally draining and then the nalu hug sent me into a coma for about a good hour. But, it was strangely sad too. For Fairy Tail standards, it was like titanic sad; like when jack died sad. It was that sad. And it ended on such a sad note, and I was just left in a motionless ball of sadness and crying and hating everything about Fairy Tail from its stupid nakama bullshit to its fucking romance to everything. (Remember, Hatred=Insane Love)

Gawd, it hurts thinking about it. If you haven't seen it yet, you're either dead or so busy you can't even breathe. If not, you have no reason not to. Now hurry the hell up and go watch it and then come back and cry with me.

Till next week!


	39. Chapter 39

Dear Reader,

Hello! It's me, Tsubaki. My sister Thinwrist asked me to post this because she is uncontrollably crying in her bed right now. She asked me, while drooling snob all over my shirt, if I could kindly tell you readers that she simply won't be able to update this FanFiction until she gets better.

Why is she crying? Apparently, it's been announced that on March 30, Fairy Tail will stop production of the anime. It means a lot to her (a lot. She tried to strangle me once over that show)

She also wants me to say that she'll be back soon...or not. Who knows? She seems pretty torn up. I've tried consoling her by saying it that maybe its on hiatus and it'll come back because shows do that or maybe at the last second they'll stop but she won't believe it. Also, there's something called a manga that is still going on?

So, good bye, and till she crawls out of bed

-Tsubaki


	40. Chapter 40

_Fairy Tail can't end. Not when Gruvia, Gale, Jerza, Elfgreen, and most of all, Nalu hasn't happened yet. Besides, if Fairy Tail ends right now, you might as well direct me to the nearest cliff..._

_-Tumblr, themadnessclamp_

* * *

_An advanced warning to Mashima-sama: Please excuse my crass, gouche tongue. I assure you that I can be a proper lady, and please do not think of me as some street prowling, knife totting hoodrat. I am not like 99% of the kids in my school_

Dear Mashima-sama and all the other bastards who almost killed me...

Dear Hiro Mashima,

This has been coming for quite some time, Mashima-sama. Everytime I picked up a pen or lifted a finger to begin this well thought out letter, I would say, _nah,I'm not ready yet. _But, I've got my weapons of literary mass destruction locked and loaded, and you better believe that I am ready.

Ehem...

I love Fairy Tail. I love it with all my heart, all my fiber, all my marrow. I love Fairy Tail, and I won't ever forget it. My children will be strapped to a seat and forced to watch Fairy Tail and fall in love with it too (otherwise they cannot be my children. I'll just go back to the hospital and demand they give me the right baby.)

You also happen to be an amazing man. People say that Fairy Tail sucks, its not that great, way too many plot holes, yada yada, fuck that, but you are truly amazing. You're a hard worker, and you're dedicated to your work, and you have AMAZING ideas. I'm always impressed with you're work. I've watched Rave Master and fell madly in love with it (even cried a bit when it ended). I love how you try to incorporate real life values into you're works. You aim to show people the power of friendship, and love, and bonds. You're characters are hilarious, amazing, and you just are plain pretty cool.

That does NOT however, excuse the fact that you are a MAJOR TROLL. It's one of you're most irritating attributes. I lose hair over the constant paranoia of "What will Mashima do next to fuck with me?" It ain't cool 95% of the time, mister. You are a sadist; you enjoy watching me squirm around and screech like an animal, you enjoy me weeping over certain scenes, _you enjoy the torture _that you give you're fans. And dammit, you are good at what you do. (ALL manga makers do this, by the way. I mean, it's a skill they've honed to perfection. If there isn't at least ONE TROLL in the anime or manga, you might as well put that anime or manga down. That's one of the major things that reel readers in. So yeah, if you find yourself cursing the hell out of said creator of the manga/anime know that you've been hooked)

Speaking of trolling, what the bloody fuck, mister. I mean, when the hell are you just going to let Erza and Jellal be happy. Hmm? HMMMM? When are you going to stop it with the whole LyonxJuviaxGray thing, when the hell is Gajeel going to realize that Levy's heads over heels in love with him, and WHEN THE H-E-L-L IS NALU GOING TO HAPPEN? (Don't you tell me you intend to leave that as a friendship. Don't give me that bull shit excuse of "Oh, Haru and Ellie fell in love in my last anime, I can't have my next two main characters falling in love, that'd be repetitive and boring." Because if you do, Trollshima, _if you do, _there is salt and a spoon waiting for you. And you don't wanna know what I intend to do with that salt and spoon. You don't. I will fly to Japan, Mashima, I will do it, and things will get very, very ugly. There will be a new Godzilla)

I mean, I get Fairy Tail is a shounen anime so it's all about the fists throwing and the limbs flying and the blood spraying; that, HOWEVER, doesn't mean that among the gory blood and flying limbs their can't be a little kissing on the side. (I mean, if I had it my way, Natsu and Lucy would have two daughters and thirty sons by now. I forever curse the day that I was not born Hiro Mashima)

And calm that nakama power crap down; it's gotten too big for it's britches. I understand friends are amazing, and fighting to the death for them is all about what honor is, but it get's repetitive when every arc is about nakama this, nakama that, nakama, nakama, nakama. It got old after about the millionth time. And if Natsu says something about nakama and gains another power up from nakama power, I will rip out that one strand of hair that I have left (I'm lying here. I have a full head of, albiet short, hair. Metaphors, ya know). Or at least, let Natsu calm the fuck down with that nakama thing because he does it the most. He get's hard off of nakama power. Let someone else do it; I dunno, Lucy, Gray, Erza, Wendy, Elfmen, Santa Claus, the little vioce In the back of your mind, ANYONE BUT HIM. Natsu's the worst, and he will cause my metaphorically thinning hair to fall out.

Now, onto other very serious matters. I would like to request that you come to my funeral when nalu happens (It will happen, dammit, or otherwise, I'm not a girl. And I am a girl. A very deluded, crazy, quirky, weird girl, but at the end of the day, I have something to prove it, don't I?) and I would also like to request...ehem..you...ehem...make some more scenes with Gray wearing very little clothing. (wink, wink)

Also, the most serious matter. All joking, subtle threats, and fangirlism aside, please, please, please don't let them end the Fairy Tail anime. It was the anime that I fell in love with originally, and I watch it faithfully, although I already know what's going to happen. The anime is still great, and it has many fans. I'm worried that a good chunk of the Fairy Tail fandom will disappear with the anime. Please, please, please don't let it end. I know that you announced it's not the end, that it's going on a hiatus, BUT BRING IT BACK AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. I cried for the whole day when I thought FT was going to end. Don't take my show away from me, I'm already hopelessly entangled within the tangible threads of Fiore. I can't ever stop loving Nalu, I can't ever stop lusting after Gray, I can't ever stop cursing you out on a daily basis for some of the things that happen in it, I can't ever stop loving Fairy Tail. I know that the decision on the anime's fate isn't in your hands because you aren't the director, but, whatever little influence that you have, PLEASE USE IT. Don't let Fairy Tail end. Aren't you the one who told us to don't stop believing? Well, I'll keep believing, and I'm counting on my Fairy Tail god to bring back the show! (that's you, Hiro)

Keep going strong, Mashima-sama! I'll always be a fan of yours, and I will always want to throttle you silly for your trolling antics. But, keep going! Make new chapters, and most definitely, make nalu happen (I am dead serious about this. Can't you see my OTP is meant to be?)

So, Jaa-Ne, Mashima-sama!

Until I write a subtly laced threat to you again!

-Thinwrist!

* * *

P.S. Wahh, forgive me readers, I left you all hanging high and dry. I'm awful; I seriously cried when I thought Fairy Tail was going to end, and then after that, I just didn't have it in me to make a new chapter. But I'm back, sassier, crazier, and ten times more Thinwrist than before! Thanks for reading, I love you all. My amazing little otaku's all across the world; I never thought that there was a horde of Thinwrist's around the world.(I somewhat thought that I was alone in my little dimension, but, it's good to have companions, neh?) Arigatou, minna!

FAIRY TAIL UNTIL EXISTENCE CEASES TO EXIST!

And till next time (and there will BE a next time)

P.P.S: Special thanks to lucysaionji, who made me remember that although I may not feel it, I have friends on here :)


	41. Chapter 41

_I was just randomly thinking... In Earthland, Lyon likes Juvia, and she likes Gray. Do you think in Edolas, since Gray likes Juvia, but she could care less, that She likes Lyon? _

_-Tumblr, anonymous_

* * *

_Warning: I'm sorry Gruvia fans (I'm not sorry)_

* * *

It was just a regular day at Fairy Tail. Well, as regular as it could get for the loudest, craziest guild in Fiore.

For Gray, it was one of "those days". The kind of days that he was sadly growing accustomed to; the days where he would wake up, and see a flash of blue hair outside his window. The days where he would walk to Fairy Tail and _know _that _she _was behind him, trying her best to be silent, but failing, since he could basically feel her heart thumping behind him. One of those days where he couldn't go _anywhere _without a certain blue haired shadow.

He'd grown accustomed to those kind of days. After the first few dozen times of freaking out over Juvia stalking him, he'd just given up. He told her to stop it, asked her to stop it, even tried changing some of his habits, but she was adamant of following him. It was now just as natural as breathing and just as innate as stripping. He knew how Juvia felt about him, although he didn't really know how he felt about her. Gray just wasn't really into girls. He was a guy, and he had his moments of course, like when Lucy first came to the guild. But when Gemini spilled the beans about him being "partially" interested in her, he'd abandoned _that _notion. Plus, with Lucy was pretty frickin' cute and somewhat hot, but she was close to _Natsu _and that was gross. Those two didn't know it yet, but they had a thing going on, and Gray just didn't want to snatch the one and only girl Natsu would possibly get.

Juvia wasn't ugly, she was pretty cute herself, but Gray didn't know how he felt about her exactly. He didn't want to keep egging her on, though he tried to make it clear he wasn't interested; he didn't want to get her hopes up for something he wasn't really into. Juvia was a great girl, she was kind, sweet, and once again, cute. Plus, she was a great fighter, and her element was really compatible with his. But most of the time, he saw her as a teammate, a comrade, just one of his many companions in Fairy Tail.

But it was one of "those days" and lately, one of "those days" involved Lyon. The guy somehow always found some excuse to drop by and moon it up with Juvia. Not that Gray cared particularly, but, he didn't really like seeing one of his companions feeling uncomfortable. He'd do it for Lucy or Erza if they need it, plus, Juvia had rubbed off on him, not that he'd admit it, and he wondered why Lyon just didn't get "go away".

He sipped his cup of iced water and watched lazily as Juvia, who was right beside him, tried to ignore Lyon. Gray didn't like Lyon, just like he didn't like Natsu. Which meant, he had a mutual companionship with the guy, but, Gray himself wasn't affectionate, so he couldn't just outright act "buddy, buddy" with the guy. He showed his "love" for Lyon, just like Natsu, with his fists. It was a man thing.

"Juvia" said Lyon, his voice taking on a husky tone that Gray found disturbing "Your hair is extra shiny today. You've done something with it, darling, what is it? It adds to your already immense beauty"

Juvia blushed, leaning slightly away from Lyon, since he was a bit too close "T-thank you, Lyon-sama."

Gray's eyebrows furrowed. Not that he'd picked up on it or anything, but, he was pretty sure Juvia only called him "sama". What was she doing calling ice prick "sama"?

"Oh, Juvia, you're so pretty. Please, when will you visit me as Lamia Scale"

Juvia gave a dry laugh "Ahahaha, Juvia thinks never"

Lyon let out a hearty laugh and took the opportunity to slide just a bit closer "Really, my little blue dove? What if I begged?"

Gray wanted to gag. Lyon was just so awful at smoothing a girl over; not that Gray _did _anything with girls, but, he was pretty sure he was smoother than Lyon. He'd practiced sometimes with an unknowing Lucy. Just a quick little compliment, or a moment of concern, or a moment of chivalry would easily win a girl over. He suddenly swallowed hoping Lucy-or Natsu-would be none the wiser. He'd given up on that, remember?

Besides, slathering compliments over a girl was cheesy and stupid. Not that Gray cared

"Oh, Lyon-sama, don't do that!" Juvia pleaded "Juvia thinks its embarrassing. You don't have to beg"

but Lyon was on one knee and he was holding Juvia's delicate pale hand, and Gray felt a vein pulsing in his temple because dammit Lyon was _annoying, _and when he opened his goddamned mouth and began to sing, Gray had had enough. He slammed his cup down and whirled on Lyon

"That is awful, Lyon." he snapped before he could stop himself "Can't you see she doesn't like that? Why don't you crawl back from whatever pit you came from?"

Lyon's eyes narrowed, and giving Juvia one last cheesy smile, he stood "What'd you say, Gray?"

Gray didn't mean to yell at Lyon; he was just annoyed because it was one of "those days" and one of "those days" should never, ever include Lyon. But the deed had been done and there was no taking it back. All that was left was fighting now.

"I _said _that you're a cheesy fart and that you suck, and go back to whatever pit you came from."

Lyon gave a smirk "Watch me, Juvia, watch me as I kick his ass!"

Gray unbuttoned his shirt, which got a reaction of complete adoration from Juvia, and an ugly growl from Lyon.

Meanwhile, Juvia sat alone at the bar, her hands clasped together and pressed to her chest. Her heart was thumping fast, insanely fast, as she watched Gray-sama and Lyon-sama fight each other. It was one of "those days" for her (no, not one of "_Those days" _it was one of "those days". There was a difference, because one of "_those days" _lasted a week)

One of "those days" meant the type of days when Lyon-sama just wouldn't go away, where he wouldn't just leave, and he blocked her from spending time with Gray-sama. Not that she didn't like Lyon-sama. He was nice and sweet, but, she just didn't know how she felt about him.

She loved Gray-sama, loved him ever since he saved her from Phantom Lord. He'd been so brave and amazing, and his very touch, his very cold, cold touch had seared her. She loved Gray-sama and longed to be with him, but, he'd never shown any interest. She wouldn't stop loving him though, she wouldn't stop loving everything about him no matter what.

She was convinced however that if it weren't for her love rival Gray would be hers much, much more sooner. That blonde vixen, who Juvia liked quite a bit, kept tugging Gray-sama's attention from her! With just one flip of her blonde hair, or one "low" T-shirt, she had the love of Juvia's life wagging after her. Juvia's face suddenly darkened. She wished Lucy would just hurry up and get with Natsu; that way, her love rival would go away. She liked Lucy, but she just didn't like how close she and Gray were. Juvia felt the same way about Erza, but on a more platonic and fearful level.

She watched as Lyon-sama landed a particularly painful blow on Gray-sama; her heart instinctively cried out in worry for her love. It was something that was natural for her now, to be very aware of whatever happened to her love. But, at the same time, she wasn't angry at Lyon-sama. She didn't know how she felt about Lyon-sama. She admitted he made her blush, but she only blushed because he said subtle things to her that not many people noticed. She _had _done something with her hair that day, in hopes that Gray-sama would notice, but it was Lyon-sama who had noticed. He also noticed when she added make up or did something with her skin. Juvia was very aware that Lyon loved her, and she wondered if he loved her just as much as she loved Gray-sama.

"Hey, Juvia" It was the love rival. She was looking gorgues that day, and her smile was radiant. Juvia smiled back

Lucy pointed at the fight going on before them "What's that for?"

Juvia shrugged "Juvia doesn't know"

Lucy flipped her hair in that little seductive way of hers; Juvia made sure to watch Gray-sama's eyes, but he was too fixated on ripping Lyon-sama's hair out. She breathed easily

Lucy laughed "Honestly, Juvia, you're so lucky"

"Oh, why so?"

"Well, you have two guys fighting for you. Gray's a bit of a hard head, but he's a great guy, and Lyon really likes you. I wish I had guys fighting for me"

"But Natsu does that for you all the time. Except, he does it with enemies. Juvia thinks you're just lucky"

Lucy blushed crimson and laughed. She watched the fight for some time, and then, said in a dreamy vioce "I remember in Edolas there was a Edo version of Gray. He wore a lot of clothes, but he was madly in love with the Edo-version of you, Juvia. Although I never met an Edo-version of Lyon, I wonder, since the Edo-version of you wasn't interested in Edo-Gray's love, would the Edo-Juvia be in love with Edo-Lyon?"

She then gave a tinkering laugh and said "That must sound insane, doesn't it?"

Juvia laughed "Juvia finds that funny. She never thought of it like that; I wonder if that is true?"

Lucy laughed along with her "Yes, I wonder what that would be like?"

* * *

Somewhere far away, somewhere on a place where everything was it wasn't, there was a certain blue haired woman dressed in a short skirt and an equally short shirt sitting at a bar, and frowning. It was one of "those days" for her. The days where Gray Fullbringer wouldn't leave her alone.

Lluvia flipped her hair to the side, and tried to ignore the massive, smothering idiot that was breathing heavily besides her. Honestly, he was such a marshmallow, telling her that she was pretty and gorgeous and that he loved her. He didn't fight, and he was friends with that absolute pussy Natsu Dragonil, who was currently being shoved into a corner by his very dominant girlfriend, Lucy Ashley. Lluvia watched as the pink haired crybaby tried to object to Lucy Ashely's advancements, blushing madly as she wrapped her arm around him and kissed him. She rolled her eyes. Lluvia wondered why all the guys in Fairy Tail were complete and utter pussies?

The door flew open. She whirled around, and her heart began to gallop. Silhouetted against the white sunlight of the day, his hair shining like a halo, was Lyon. The love of Lluvia's life. She whirled around, and found herself springing to him, ready to pounce on him, because she couldn't control herself around someone so amazing. She spread her arms wide and gave a cry of "Lyon darling!"

His eyes met hers, and he took a clear step out of the way. Lluvia landed on a few steps away from him

"Hello, Lluvia" he said coolly "How many times have I told you not to attack me when I came here?"

Lluvia loved Lyon; he was nothing like Gray Fullbringer. He was strong, he was courageous, and dammit, he had a pair of balls! Lluvia wanted a strong man, one who wouldn't cry, one who would fight, someone who was brave! She loved Lyon with all her might, would love him until she died, and she didn't care!

"Ll-Lluvia" came Gray Fullbringer's timid voice "Are you okay?"

She glared at him "I'm fine. Go away, you're too close"

Gray took a step back from her. Behind him, she could hear Natsu Dragonil's frustrated whimpers of "Stop, Lucy!"

"O-okay, Lluvia-sama. Hey, I was wondering, would you like to go to-"

but she was gone, chasing after Lyon, who had seated himself at the bar and was manly glaring at the bartender in a manly way. Ah, how handsome was the love of Lluvia's life!

Gray Fullbringer idled up besides them and sat besides Lluvia, who payed no mind to the timid man hiding beneath layers of clothing. She only had eyes for Lyon, and would never love someone else!

"Lyon-darling, how are you today?"

Lyon gave a gruff reply of "Fine"

"Lluvia-sama, I think you're beautiful!" said Gray

Lluvia ignored him "Lyon-darling, what have you done with your hair?"

"Lluvia-sama, I love your hair" piped up Gray hopefully

Somewhere in the corner of Fairy Tail, poor Natsu Dragonil was having a hard time getting away from his dominatrix girlfriend. He was crawling under the tables now, clawing at the floorboards as the dominatrix upturned tables roaring "Get back here!"

Ah, poor Lluvia. She suddenly found herself wondering if somewhere out there, in Earthland, if her Earthland counterpart had such troubles as Gray Fullbringer.

And glancing at Natsu Dragonil, who was now being dragged to god-knows-where by Lucy Ashely, she wondered if his Earthland counterpart had such issues

* * *

"Oh, Lucy" Juvia laughed "Juvia hardly thinks that Edo-Juvia has any problems. Juvia wishes she could switch places, so that she could have Gray all to herself!"

Lucy nodded in complacent agreement, before her attention was suddenly pulled away by something involving her very dominant annoying idiot team partner.

Meanwhile, Gray and Lyon's fight had ended. He collapsed on the floor, opposite his rival, and gasped

"Leave Juvia alone"

Lyon wiped his brow "So what?" he replied haughtily "It's not like you'll do anything for Juvia!"

Gray growled "She's a team partner! I won't let someone from another guild take away a partner!"

Lyon stood in that arrogant way of his, ignoring Gray's little banter.

Honestly, Gray didn't know why he was irked so much by Juvia calling Lyon "sama" or by Lyon's mere presence around her. He wouldn't say he was in love with Juvia, but she had rubbed off on him in a sort of affectionate way, and they'd been through too much. It was one of "those days" and it suddenly dawned on Gray that maybe, just maybe, he could make of one of "those days" enjoyable for the both of them

Juvia noticed when Lyon came back to her. He was so nice to her, but she couldn't bear telling him her heart belonged to another. He sat besides her, panting heavily

"So what did you think, Juvia-darling?" Lyon asked

Juvia noticed that one of Lyon's eyes were swelling. She sighed, because honestly, fighting for her was silly.

"Juvia thanks Lyon-sama for fighting for her. Juvia finds Lyon-sama very brave" She didn't know why she called him "sama". That was an affectionate term only reserved for Gray-sama. But then again, Lyon had rubbed off on her in a soft, little way.

Lyon beamed, but before he could get any more "romancing" in, Gray sat gruffly besides Juvia. Looking the other way he said sourly "Hey, Juvia, you know, Lucy and Natsu are going to the carnival that just arrived in town today. Since Erza can't come, and it'd be feel wrong without four people, would you wanna come?"

All thoughts of Lyon's cute little ways and the puppy affection that had crept up on Juvia faded. Passionate love swam through her and she nearly cried as she said "Yes!". Her mind was already dancing with fantasies of romantic endeavors between her and the love of her life. She couldn't wait, and plus, her love rival would be occupied with Natsu! Things couldn't be better

Gray shot Lyon a very satisfied glare. He didn't know why he'd done it, but, he'd much rather have just Juvia bugging him on one of "those days". At least with her, he could ignore her. But Lyon was just a bit too much. Besides, it wasn't like he liked her or anything.

* * *

Authors Note: So not sorry. I saw this on Tumblr and the one-shot that popped up in my mind just bugged the crap out of me until I wrote it. This was Gruvia, for all you Gruvia fans, but it was Lyvia too., for all you Lyvia fans I wasn't favoring any ship in this, just like Fairy Tail doesn't outright tell you which ship will win. It's up to you to decide which ship sailed in this one-shot. I'm evil, aren't I? Oh, and that little Edo-Nalu and NaLu was adorable. Tee-hee, I hope you aren't dead from feels!


	42. Chapter 42

First there'd been Lisanna. Before there'd been any scarlet haired dominatrix or blonde haired bomb shell, there'd been the sweet, docile white haired Lisanna.

She'd been Natsu Dragneel's first friend; the first person who had decided to talk to the scruffy, scrawny pink haired boy with no past, no parents, and a dangerous magic that hardly anyone had known about. Natsu remembered the first few tendrils of friendship between himself and Lisanna. It was her, the blue eyes girl who had decided to say "hi" to him on lonely rainy day, it was Lisanna who had given him that first saccharine, intoxicating taste of friendship. She was an absolute darling, a tender girl who could put up with his fiery temper; she was the water to his fire, the wind in his howl. She was funny and understanding, and always, always willing to accept who he was. She'd even grown fond of his quirky ways, had actually fallen in love with him. That was just who Lisanna was. Cute and endearing, yet resilient and stubborn, just like any mage of Fairy Tail would be.

Yet, there'd been something missing in the bond between Natsu Dragneel and Lisanna Strauss. They were great friends, great, amazing friends who had an irreplacable relationship that no would replace, since, of all the people in Fairy Tail, Lisanna was his _first. _First friend, first partner, first person to look beneath his hard, bitter shell.

Then, there'd been Erza. Natsu and Erza naturally had to connect, simply because she was Erza and he was Natsu. There friendship was expected; Natsu had long since lost his lonely scars of abandonment from Igneel, but, he could see that the red haired girl with one eye was someone different, someone strange. An oddball among oddballs. A freak among freaks. She was on her own level, her own special crazy level that the rosette was naturally attracted too. With Erza and Gray, another oddball among the oddballs, Natsu had easily managed to forge more friends. Erza was another specail girl; she tolerated his strong personality, yet, she herself was a strong one of her own. She dominated him to the point where for once in a rare blue moon, Natsu was submissive.

Yet, even with Erza there'd been something missing. By the time he met Erza, Natsu was accustomed to meeting others and growing to like them, finally being able to trust people after his time with his dragon. Erza showed him that there were others out in the vast world who could beat him up and terrify him with one glower besides Igneel. She reached into new places and taught him many new lessons. She'd been one of his first _best _friends, and one of his _nightmares. _

And at last, there'd been Lucy. After so many friends, after the years of growing and learning and surrounding himself with friends and partners, after going through heartbreak and heartache, after feeling that the one _something _all his friend's were missing would never come around and he would live without it (not that he cared). And then one day, he'd stumbled upon her bright smile and chocolate eyes, and he had just known that something was different about her.

Before there'd been Lisanna, sweet and simple, always by his side no matter what, the girl who had opened him up and showed him that Igneel was not that only one that had cared. She'd managed to keep up with him, she'd been soft and gentle, always accepting.

But, she hadn't been able to _match _him on his crazy intense personality. She cared for him just like anyone would, but she'd never been enough. She'd been too sweet, too calm. She had just enough resilience and bravado to match that of any member, yet...she hadn't been enough for Natsu's. Then there'd been Erza who had come along and taught him new things about his world, had showed him that he could be conquered and subdued, that he himself was not invincible. She'd kept him standing up through thick and thin, had been just like him, just as screwed up as he was. But she'd been _too much. _When she grew tired of his idiotic ways, his thickheaded stubbornness, or when his levels of testosterone became too high, she could calm him down, and subdue him to the point of cowering and whimpering.

Yet, Lucy Heartfilia was somewhere in between. When Lucy came along, he met someone who he felt connected to in an inexplicable, innate way. She wasn't Lisanna, she wasn't Erza, she wasn't like anyone before. She taught him that someone could care for him beyond friend, beyond best friend, beyond anything that he could explain. She taught him that someone could be so utterly vulnerable and cute and sweet that he would be ready to lay his life down for her, yet, at the same time when the time called upon it she could stand up stronger than any woman he knew. She didn't tolerate his ridiculous ways, nor did she accept it. It just _was. _His fiery personality, his stubbornness, everything about him just was. There had never been a need to accept him or tolerate him; he was who he was and there had never been any changing that. Lucy had taught him that someone could be smart, yet goofy at the same time. There'd never been any holding back with her, never any worrying. She wasn't the the wind to his howl, or the water to his fire. She was the kindling to his fire, the one that kept it burning. The one that he howled for, or made him howl. She was weird; weird because he couldn't possibly believe that someone could mold to him so well. Lisanna was his _first _friend, Erza was one of his _first _best friends, but if there was someone he knew he couldn't leave behind, someone he would drag across the world with him just for the sake of it, it was Lucy. Because she was the one person who had filled that missing link with. And she would be the only person who could make it better when the days got boring or lonely. He didn't know if he loved her or just plain liked her, but Natsu Dragneel knew that the second he met Lucy, she was his _first, _second, third, and _forever. _

* * *

Authors Note: Ahaha, I'm sorry I took forever with this update guys, I'm losing track of days. But, hey, forgive me! I know this was short, but I was just in the mood of exploring Natsu's relationships with Erza, Lisanna and Lucy. And of course, somehow along the way, it morphed into NaLu. Oh well, NaLu forever...and I have a feeling deep within my very bones that NaLu is so gonna become canon...I'm writing my will so that when it does become canon, I can leave behind some things once I die of OTP joy.


	43. Chapter 43

**He's Just Not The Guy, Is He? **

_**(**Oh fuck that) _

Hello! Missed me? (you probably did!) Sorry for not updating, being awesome takes up a lot of enery. (big ego, huh?)

Haha, so I noticed I've been writing a lot of one-shots, but, fear not, it's time for some good old rants! Becuase, aha, what the hell do I do better than rant of course?

Okie, dokie, now chop, chop right to rant! Sorry, no funnies today

This is a serious topic (Okay, no, its not. Unclench your panties...or thongs...)

Ehem..I haven't done a good NaLu rant in weeks, and oh, the NaLu-ness has just been building up in me since then. Especailly since my favorite couple in the whole wide world has had such great feels these last few chapters of Fairy Tail. (I foresee NaLu happening in the future! Ah! I can die in peace!)

What shall I rant about?

Natsu of course. And, that whole heated debate topic of how "Natsu just doesn't seem like that type of guy" thing.

To basically condense this rant, in two words, this would basically be it:

Fuck that.

Now, to elaborate:

I somewhat get what people mean by saying that Natsu's character type just isn't romantic (Fuckin' baka and his hero's complex and shit. Makes me want to throw monkey crap at people sometimes!) because, he's not. He's more of an Ichigo type of character, but, I wouldn't compare Natsu to Ichigo because Ichigo was basically asexual. I'm pretty sure he was in love with sword (I mean damn, son, you had all those tits just _everywhere. You could've had a harem, could've had a harem. _Think about that while you masterbate at night and wonder why your lonely)

Back to Natsu. Yes, his character type is really more of a fighter type, and especailly for those type of "animes" (Who said that?! Fairy Tail is real fucker!) those type of characters don't fall in love easily. I mean, there sole purpose is to fight! Fight! Fight! And whatnot.

But, when people bring that up as an excuse for NaLu not happening (OR ANY NATSU PAIRING AT THAT) I just want to fly the moon and eat moon rocks and then poop moon rock poop and feed that to them. Because, _fuck it all, _that is annoying.

Using Natsu's character type as a way of saying he's not gonna end up with my Lucy (bitch, I will cut you) isn't dumb or anything, but, it's kind of a washed up argument. We can all safely agree that Natsu is a pervert right? So, by saying that simply by his character type I ain't getting no NaLu babies, that is well...in simple words...stupid.

And then there's that other complaint about Natsu not "being ready" for a relationship?the bastard is what? Seventeen? Eighteen? Eighty four? When the hell is he going to be ready for a relationship? And with whom (the answer is Lucy.) That excuse too is going to earn some moon rock poop from me. Because, I think we can all agree that on those terms too, while Natsu may be a fist-slugging-go-get-em' boy, and he might be a bit on the stupid side, you can't simply say he's not ready for a relationship because of the way he is. In fact, a relationship will help the dumbass mature more, so yeah, this excuse is dismissed.

Another one that really grind's my gears here. Natsu and Lucy just don't "go" together. Bitch, someone once said peanut butter and jelly would never go together and look at those fuckers now! Who the fuck else, besides Lucy, balances Natsu's character out the most? (I dare you...). I am sorry, but that excuse is the number one on my shit list, and by spouting that shit, it makes me want to just ugh, beat you with a shoe. There characters blend in so well

I get that some people may say that they have too much of a "friend" type feel (they'll move on, I swear it, they will move on!) because they do have too much of a friend type feel sometimes; but, even with that plausible excuse for NaLu simply not becoming canon, it can easily be said that Lucy has feelings for Natsu (you better have). We just don't know what goes on in that simpletons brain (what brain?). But, Mashima has that way of doing that; I mean, in Rave Master, for like a good three fourths of the series, Haru and Ellie were super duper ring-around-the-rosies friends, and then like they started developing feelings for each others and soon they were getting low down and dirty...(heh, heh, no they did not get low down and dirty. I wish they did.) so there's hope that it'll morph in that sense. I'm pretty sure it will; because, I'm fuckin' sure it will. I mean, they've been through so much shit, they will honestly have a profound relationship (and even if NaLu doesn't become canon (which it will!) I can live with them being best friends (holy shit I did a parentheses in a paranetheses. What is this black magic?!) so yeah)

So, yeah, me being a super stubborn NaLu shipper, like die hard believer, like I-will-cut-you-for-my-ship type of NaLu shipper, using Natsu as a means of simply not seeing NaLu happening is not a good idea. Hell, using Natsu as a way to simply not ship him with anybody is annoying. If you don't ship Natsu with anyone, great.

But, by using his character as a way to avoid that...well, two words really

Fuck that.

Because IT'S NALU FOR THE WIN! WIN! WIN! (I'm sorry. I'm running on adrenaline here. Haven't gotten much sleep besides about three seconds)

So, in simple terms, Natsu is just for Lucy, neh?

Alrighty, rant over! Missed you guys (I suck at updating, really. But thanks for reading. Honestly,why do you read this? It's a silly, biased rant, I hope you know that.)

And, until the next chapter in the near-ish future.

Goodbye!

-Thinwrist


	44. Chapter 44

I always wondered what Natsu and Lucy's reaction would be to my fan fiction...well, it's time to find out...

* * *

It was a sunny, warm day in Magnolia. Such a cliche beginning, neh? Well, it was a bright sunny day in Magnolia. That's how the day began; one of the strangest day in Lucy Heartfilia's life. The sun was practically glaring down on the burning hot earth, making it nearly impossible for anyone without ice for skin (hence, Gray Fullbuster) to do anything.

So, Lucy decided to test out her newly acquired gadget. Honestly, she had no idea why she bought it. She didn't really care much for the small, humming thing. But, the person that she had bought it from (for 700 jewels!) had told her it held a special type of magic. It was called a laptop, and it was really a pain in the butt. Mainly because she also had to install something called the "Internet" and then something else called "Wifi" and then she had to "download" these things called "software" to make the "laptop" run well. Whatever type of magic the "laptop" used, it was surely expensive and complicated. But, she was burning with a searing passionate desire to see what magic this laptop held. (_It'll take you to different worlds! Many, many different worlds!_ The man had told Lucy when she was forking over seven hundred jewels.)

She had just eaten breakfast, and was well ready to go on the laptop when suddenly the door to her room burst open and in stormed her pink headed partner, Natsu Dragneel.

"Yo! Lucy!"

This embargement of personal space of course ensued in an argument that ate up a good hour of Lucy's day. She _yet again_ had to explain to the pinkette that simply because they were partners did not entitle him to just walk in on her any time he wanted; which of course led to Natsu to try to explain to Lucy that since he was her partner, he was practically entitled to live with her, and plus, they were best friends, so what was the problem with him coming to visit her whenever he wanted, and plus, since they were partners and best friends, he surely was entitled to at least _a piece _of Lucy; this led Lucy and Natsu into an argument about boundaries, and possession, since Lucy was trying to explain that _she was not _his property, and he was not _entitled _to one damn piece of her, thank you very much and on top of that, the way he phrased it made it sound like she was married to Natsu", which she had to explain meant that they were together forever, which led the idiot dragon slayer to say something naïve

"Well, your my partner, and I'm hoping we'll be together forever like best buds, so I guess we _are _married"

and thus, he killed the argument.

"So, what'cha you doing?" he asked, peering over Lucy's shoulder so that he could see what she was doing on her laptop

She explained to Natsu about the laptop and its magic

"Really?" he exclaimed "That sounds so cool! Make it work, Lucy!"

She rolled her eyes, and with nimble fingers, opened something called a "browser". It popped open

"Man, what boring magic. Where are the new worlds?" Natsu whined

"Quiet!" Lucy ordered "We just started"

"Ah, boring Lucy, boring"

In fact, it was quiet boring. She was on something called "Google" and she most definitely did not know how to use it. Gritting her teeth, she pulled out the instruction manual that she had received along with the laptop and all its troubles. Flipping to the section called "Recommended Websites" she randomly chose one. A "website" called "Fanfiction" sounded interesting. She typed it in and clicked "Go"

"Woah!" Natsu said "It changed!" Lucy rolled his eyes; he was like a child right then, teetering between complete boredom and dazzled fascination

She hushed him. Although it was cool how fast the "websites" changed, Fanfiction itself was a complicated archive that naive Lucy found mind boggling. She squinted at the screen, looking through the many confusing names that glowed bright blue.

"Ah! Look! That glowing thing says Fairy Tail! Click it, Click it, Click it!" Natsu urged

"Hush!" Lucy said, but, she followed his exclamations and clicked on it.

"Oh great! Another maze! What are we supposed to do here?" Lucy huffed; she was growing to resen this laptop and all its new fangled "magic"

Natsu leaned closer, which brought both pressed Lucy against the table. She groaned, and shoved him off

"I think we're supposed to read these" Natsu said, lifting an eyebrow in confusion.

"Hmm..which one do we chose?" Lucy asked; there were so many. And, peering closer, she saw that each had a brief description under them.

The man had been right about different worlds. Each little blue link contained, at least, one member of Fairy Tail cast in a strange world. Some of them were just plain crazy, such as _What if Lisanna came back and Natsu kicks Lucy off the team? _Lucy shook her head at that. That was insane; her friend might've loved Lisanna like a sister, but Lucy had faith that her place on Team Natsu was not in danger. Others were a bit steamy, such as the one's that exclaimed _Lucy and Loke are about to have a baby boy, but Natsu just isn't approving of that. _She turned beet red at that thought; how strange and upturned were these worlds? Was it like Edolas, where their personalities were different. She certainly hoped so, if she were having a child with Loke.

"Oi, these worlds sound dumb" Natsu said, crossing his arms over his chest "Just click one Lucy"

Lucy shrugged her shoulders; she looked for the least threatening one. A name jumped out at her

_Why It Will Always Be Natsu and Lucy (among other things)_

That didn't seem half as threatening as the others; she wasn't being kicked off Team Natsu, she wasn't having one of her teammates child, she wasn't becoming a dragon slayer, and she wasn't falling into different worlds and being cast into different fairy tale roles. And its description wasn't that crazy really; half of it she didn't understand. What was a "ship"? And an "OTP"? Was this a sailor version of herself. Well, she would just have to find out she supposed. She clicked it.

"Read it to me, Lucy" Natsu said

"Read it yourself"

"C'mon!" he whined

She rolled her eyes

"_Erza and Jellal did it." _she read aloud

Lucy stopped "Erza and Jellal did what?"

She kept on reading; what did Titania do with Jellal? And, what were all these other strange people that were mentioned

"WHAT?!" She exclaimed "_Erza and Jellal kissed?!"_

There was a crashing sound "What?! Erza and Jellal kissed?" Natsu yelled

The two friends looked at each other; there faces drained of color; she couldn't believe it. And, from Natsu's eyes, she knew he couldn't believe it either...Lucy swallowed. She had a bad feeling about this "world" now.

She continued reading, her voice growing strained as she read each line.

_**"*I shudder at this one***...Gajeel and Natsu (H-How did this even happen?!)"_

"What about me and Iron freak?"

Lucy didn't bother trying to explain it; she was horrified. Her vioce was stretching through several octaves...her chees burned bright red...

"N-natsu...I think...this..isn't a world.." she stuttured "I think this is a story..."

"About what?"

"I think...this is a story...about..._us..._getting together!"

"Together? Like what, as partners? Cause we already are"

"No, baka!" she said "No, this is..about _us _becoming a couple. You know, girlfriend and boyfriend!"

Natsu's jaw dropped "Whhhhaatttt?"

Her eyes traveled up the screen "Written by Thinwrist? Who is this Thinwrist?"

"Some freak probably!" Natsu snapped "Geez, who thinks about that?"

Lucy's heart beat faster; she didn't say anything. She found her interest, although horrified and embarrassed, piqued by this "Thinwrist" and it's crazy fanatic rantings about them getting together. She clicked on the next chapter

"_Dear Natsu and Lucy," _she read aloud; okay, so it was directly addressed to them. Natsu stood there, a look of deep disapproval on his face. He waited. Lucy licked her lips. What was in store for them?

She read aloud; but she regretted it. The letter didn't get any better. In fact, it was...threatening...psychopathic even.

"Who is this person?" Lucy squeaked "Kill me with a spoon?" her stomach flipped "A-and what is Natsu Just For Lucy army? Are there people who really want us to get together?"

"Yeesh!" Natsu said "That's just crazy! We're friends, that's all"

Lucy cast him a sideways glare; wait, why was she mad? She didn't care! All she cared about was the fact that someone seriously thought that she and Natsu should become a couple...that was crazy! And what was this thing called a "pairing"? And geez, it was crazy how insanely in love this Thinwrist was with the idea of the sickening name "NaLu"; who meshed their names together anyways?

But Lucy read on. She read outloud, although it was a horrible idea, and felt her throat clench. Oh boy, it was getting worse with each chapter. And..it wasn't just her and Natsu either. There was Gajeel and Levy too! And Erza and Jellal! And even Gray and Juvia and Lyon! How did this person know so much about them anyway? And who the heck was this Hiro Mashima that Thinwrist threatened at least once in every chapter? That person probably got the brunt of Thinwrist's madness; there were lightly laced threats in nearly every chapter! And, oh boy there were threats! Threats against Lisanna, the poor darling! It was like, Thinwrist was teetering between hating Lisanna and loving Lisanna? Why? And oh geez, there were even these little..._side stories. _

"My oh my," Lucy sighed "This is one crazy person"

Natsu nodded "What is wrong with this chick?"

"Oh, and how do you know its a girl?"

"Because, no guy would waste his time on that! Plus, she even said she was a chick. You girls are always the crazy ones"

Lucy frowned "Is that supposed to mean something?"

Natsu rolled his eyes "_Just sayin'" _

"I really hope we don't meet Thinwrist"

"I hope we do! I'll kick her ass!"

Lucy brought a finger to her rosy lips "Well..she isn't hurting anyone..I guess all she's stating is her..insane..opinion. Although, I don't approve of this"

"Approve? Who cares about approving? We ain't getting' together! No way!"

The comment burned "Oh, what's that supposed to mean? You don't like me?" Lucy frowned; she didn't like the way he said it. It made her sound like he wouldn't go out with her!

"Of course I like you! You're real sweet, Lucy, you know that!"

"Yeah, so why can't we get together?"

Natsu grimaced and looked the other way "Cause'...well, we're friends..and..and..."his voice trailed off

"So, if I wanted to be your girlfriend, you wouldn't want that?!" she was on a roll; and she couldn't stop herself

Natsu's eyes narrowed "If you wanted to be my girlfriend, of course I'd accept you! It's not like I'd say no!" His voice rose

" You-you would...?" she whispered, then frowned "Well, I wouldn't _want _to go out with you"

"Oi, what's that supposed to mean?"

"THAT MEANS, I WOULDN'T GO OUT WITH AN INSENSITIVE FOOL LIKE YOU" She screamed

"SO WHAT YOU DON'T LIKE ME?" He roared at her, taking an angry step towards Lucy

"OF COURSE I DO!" She leaned forward, crossing her arms over her well endowed chest

He leaned down "AND IF I WANTED TO BE YOUR BOYFRIEND, YOU WOULDN'T WANT THAT?!"

"OF COURSE I WOULD!"

"THEN WHY'D YOU SAY YOU WOULDN'T GO OUT WITH ME? I AM NOT AN INSENSITIVE JERK!"

"BECAUSE, YOU SAID IT FIRST!"

"YEAH WELL I'M SORRY...GEEZ, YOU KNOW YOU I LOVE YOU LUCY!"

"YEAH... WELL I LOVE YOU TOO!"

Both stopped, coming to a screeching halt. The argument had derailed into something that wasn't even an argument; Lucy clasped her hands over her mouth, and stared, her face turning beet red. Natsu stared, then spat "Keh" and looked the other way. The slightest blush crept on his tanned cheeks. They were way too close; Lucy stepped back, and looked at her laptop. She had stopped on a chapter, a chapter with no name. It was one of Thinwrist's side stories, and her eyes scanned the lines. A smile twisted on her face

"Geez, your so weird" she said aloud, echoing the words of side story "But your a good kind of weird Natsu. If you weren't, then you would be like every other guy. I like your weird."

The fire breather blinked; a smile stretched on his face. Lucy smiled back, and placed her hand on the laptop. She closed it shut. Holding it up, she said "I think this isn't worth much to me anymore. Especially if people like Thinwrist exist."

Natsu nodded. Lucy smiled; she walked over to her window, opened it, and with all her strength, chucked it as far as she could. The little black cylinder spiraled into the air, freefalling, before Natsu stuck his head out, and blew a tunnel of fire at it. A spiral of ash tumbled down to the ground. The two best friends stared at each other, and laughed; Lucy had just lost seven hundred jewels, plus the one thousand jewels it cost to install everything. But, she didn't care. Laughing, they high fived each other.

Only, they clasped hands for a moment too long, lingering for an instance that shouldn't exist. Lucy smiled, hiding her blush, and swallowed. What if Thinwrist's rants weren't for nothing? She pulled back her hand.

She hoped she was wrong.

* * *

Authors Note: How on earth did this turn into a NaLu one-shot...?


	45. Chapter 45

Your Bullshit Must Stop

**Dear Hiro Mashima, **

Your bullshit must end here. Like, now. Like, right now. I'm so done with your bullshit, like one thousand percent done with your bullshit [I'm so done with you that like, I'm gonna kick your ass to the moon if I find you]

Now the first topic that _must _be covered because I can not ignore it is the fact that you fucking killed Gray. (Knowing the king of all trolls, he' probably not dead, because whoppity fucking do this is Mashima we're talking about, Gray's gonna probably be alive as fuck and kickin') _No _Mashima, you can't do that. _No. _Take a step back, sit the fuck down, and say it with me, _NO. _

You killed Future Lucy. You turned Rogue into some physco path who killed Sting. You have poor Ultear regressing. _WHY CAN'T WE BE HAPPY. _Do you sit there at night thinking "Hmmm, did I make my fans happy? If so, nope,they can't be happy. Now, who can I fuck over? I already killed Future Lucy, fucked shit up with Rogue, I messed up Jerza, pfffttt NaLu, what's that? Hm..Hm..Oh yes! Lemme kill Gray _right in front of Juvia._ That'll make em' cry!". I woke up _to Gray being killed. _Thta is nightmare fuel you turd. I loved Gray; I was just beginning to ship Gruvia because it was cute, and now, I won't ever ship it because when I think about shipping them I'll remember that you took my heart and stepped on it and did the devil dance and the cha cha slide and laughed in my face telling me "No, no, no, I'm not gonna let that happen.." (Mashima, I will cha cha slide on _your face.) _

Now the second topic is Ultear. Let the bitch be happy (On another topic, goddamn, Ultear is fine as hell, dammit, I mean have you seen her ass? Those _hips. _She has thighs for _days. _She has got it going on, just, damn, I don't care if you ass wipes think I'm gay, but Ultear is one fine ass lady, and she got it goin' onnnnnnn...whoops, back to the same topic) seriously, let Ultear be happy. But, oh ho ho ho ho, this is you I'm talking about, you can't ever let us be happy.

This is why I am done with you. A million times done with you. On one hand your an amazing manga maker, creative as hell, just awesome and what not, but on the other hand, guess what? (you suck donkey balls) you are a TROLLLLL. And I should learn to become immune to your shit because you pull that crap all the time.

Unf. I love you Mashima. But I'm done with you. I'm going to cha cha slide on your face, just like you did the devil dance on my heart.

Sincerely,

Thinwrist

Okaii, hello? Are you guys still alive? I'm sorry I haven't updated, but, hopefully, someone still reads this. Now listen up here, my fellow Fairy Tail fans, and erm, Gruvia Fans (I was actually liking the ship). Stand proud, sharpen your knives, and say it loudly "GRAY IS NOT DEAD." (The knives part is for Mashima, *wink, *wink) Why isn't he dead? Yes, I know, we all just saw him get shot down Rambo-style, but, _really. Really? _Think about that Tenrou Island Arc where the same shit went down. Gray almost got killed then too for Juvia's sake and guess what? He didn't. He ain't gonna die now. Gray Fullbuster will not die. Not on my watch. Band together Gruvia fans, It's Gray Just For Juvia time right now, even if your not a shipper. Seriously, Juvia needs to go ape shit right now and save Gray...

Now, go cry in a corner, because I know you all wanna cry. (and get yourself ready because we're going Mashima hunting tonight)

Thinwrist.


End file.
